RetiredGuy

Sportdeck,

Don't let other people's posts upset you, they mean well!

Personally, I think it is fantastic that those three beers didn't derail you and it has been almost a month ago that it happened. I hope you don't use your anger at some of the posts as an excuse to start drinking again.

hellrzr

Great job getting back on track since your trip!

Folks are just trying to be helpful and hoping you realize that a "slip" is a relapse and calling it a slip is just another way to justify the action. Like saying you only drank 3 beers but in the old days you would have drank 10. Doesn't matter if it was 1 sip or 20 beers, it's a relapse because the problem is not the alcohol, the problem is your thinking... if you are an alcoholic that is. Maybe you are a hard drinker and stopping drinking alone will fix your problems.

Are you in AA or any program? If not than this talk probably does seem hard core and maybe hurtful for you to hear. If you are following a program though it should be stuff you've heard before. To be successful long term you need to be completely honest at all times.

Sportdeck203

No I'm not in AA, I was a heavy drinker on the weekends if there was a party to go to, back before Xmas I was supposed to go snowboarding with my kid and had too many the night before, still went but felt like crap all day so decided to stop, my drinking has never caused anyone pain or harm, I have a great marriage and my kids always say I'm the best dad ever, I just got tired of the hangovers, we went snowboarding 19 times this winter and I ended up joining the ski patrol, found this site about 50 days in, you guys are the only ones I've talked to about it.

insignia

I think it is great you had those 3 beers and then the realization hit at what you were doing and just stopped. The whole AA thing does not work for all of us. I know that AA would never do it for me, neither is counting days a thing for me.

Unfortunately many sites like this one are based in the AA methodology. I watched a few people quit drinking or drugs and never went through any kind of group. I have seen some go through AA or NA and it helped them immensely and there are some who have lived the last 20+ years with AA or NA everyone is different and need different kinds of help.

You learned a lesson and that is way more important then the 3 beers you had.

HTown

I am glad you posted. As for being hard-core, I am glad everyone is that way. I only talk here to Sportsdeck. I want to be held accountable and I want to hear that a few beers caused Matt and others to slide back into a bad pattern.

That is how we learn, by sharing stories and seeing each other's experiences.

We do not have to repeat others mistakes if we just take the time to see and listen to others. You have made great strides, I have enjoyed seeing your progress. We all want you to succeed, we all want you not to drink.

thomas11

Glad to hear you got right back to sobriety after your minor slip. I drank twice after a few months of sobriety, and it solidified my belief that drinking was just not for me anymore. The "magic" was gone and I felt kind of out of it and stupid. Being sober we feel so sharp all the time. its great.

Sportdeck203

That's exactly how it felt, just not right anymore.

CreativeThinker

That's a good thing Sport!

I once slipped, left the hospital after my mother died... had a glass of wine when I got back to the hotel and went to bed. The next morning I got up and brushed off the fact that I had slipped the night before... I had no intentions of continuing to drink, there was so much to see to after her death. I'd been sober for 11 months, I knew (thought) I couldn't be shaken.

A few months went by and I hadn't had a drink since that night. I thought, I'll just have 1...I was able to drink a glass a couple months ago, what's the big deal? And so, I had another glass of wine. A few weeks later...another. Before I knew it, the 1 glass of wine once in a while turned into a full blown relapse. I was off and running again...right back to where I started...waking up hungover and not being able to enjoy the things I loved to do: running, skiing, playing racket ball with friends.

The best thing you did Sport is come here and post. While we don't always like, or agree with what others have to share here...at least it gives us a perspective and some insight into how alcohol addition affects each of us. Take what you need from what others have experienced and disregard the rest.

None of us know if you are a problem drinker...that's for you to decide. It sounds like you've got a lot figured out...you're a good Dad, husband and family man.

Take care and enjoy the weekend!

Dee74

That's not accurate for this site or this forum tho. We work hard to welcome a multitude of recovery ideas.
If some of the answers seem similar it's probably down to experience

D

Funtimefranky

I'm only just going in to day two. I honestly don't think people meant to judge you harshly. I'm so ill I don't know if I'll make it out of this. I think bc its got so bad if I ever think having a few drinks is not a big deal I'd be in trouble. I think that's what the worry is. Though it's true you've been fortunate to not have done a huge amount of damage, you have to admit it was risky behaviour for an alcoholic. This stuff is killing people. I can never afford to drink again or not see it as a problem bc the truth for me is one slip could mean the end. You've done a great job. Youve got so many clean days behind you well done. I'm praying I can get as many days behind me as you have.

Femaleboss1980

Well done please keep positive and to stop smoking to is amazing i done this a year ago to

Day one day 300 who cares were sober and feeling fab keep it up
You sound very much like my story i drank some evenings to point of blackout but had no withdrawals day 9 can walk down a drink aisle sit with people drinking and nothing !! Not even a craving
Whatever others say there is different levels of being an alcoholic
Keep strong

Dee74

No ones trying to irritate you sportdeck and noones asking you to justify anything - you did that yourself, unbidden.

Its just that many of us, myself included, see the same kind of justifications and rationalisations that kept us drinking for years.

I think we'd be letting you, and everyone else here, down if we didn't point that out.

That means that yeah probablynot many of us will slap you on the back for only having 3 beers cos we see a bigger picture...

to me that's like the fly crawling a little deeper into the venus flytap to get the nectar.

If you want to be the guy who has a few beers on a weekend every so often, there's nothing wrong with that - unless you're an alcoholic.

Maybe you've decided only to drink to a point before you get buzzed.

Again, there's nothing wrong with that - unless you're an alcoholic.

Maybe you've decided that those 3 beers were enough for you not to drink again ever.

That would be a good outcome IMO.

Whatever you decide I hope your story has a happy ending.

D

Misc72

Don't shy away from posting here. Yes people are going to sound hardcore. After all quitting drinking and changing your life is hardcore. Drinking is a matter of life or death for some of us. So please don't let the passion to help save you come across the wrong way. I have had my feelings hurt plenty here. But every-time it made me think. My 'small' slip 18 months ago turned into slips left and right. And I said screw it I'll just be a drinker again and not go through the trouble of juggling the guilt of relapsing. Well I ended up making the same dumb decisons and even more than ever... I'd hate to see that happen to you or anyone. My son is the primary reason for me as well. The first time I tried this I sat comotose in my culdesac after a night out. Only intended dinner with hubs. Turned into a nightmare. I sat there unable to move, I could barely get out of the cab. Actually I was pulled out by my husband. And I just sat there puking all over myself in front of my son. I got up and tried to walk inside and fell hard on the concrete and busted my head. I knew right then and there I NEVER want to do that to my son again. But I did drink again after 18 months of complete sobriety. I got brave, and thought I can do this like a normal person. I never drank in front of my son again and never really did before. But it caused all kinds of problems with my marriage, our business, our families. It's not worth it. Please don't stop posting. I've been wondering where is your cabin and how did your turkey turn out?

Misc72

I wasn't either. I do consider hangovers withdrawls though. But after a day or two of rest and lots of puking I'd be back to normal. Although there really isn't anything normal about that mindset for my actions. I never kept the Vodka under the bed or get the shakes or any of those things. and not every time I drank would I get in trouble or go overboard. But the times I did made up for the mellow times. Wow. It is progressive and the older I'm getting the worse it all is. I'd only drink every other week. Not even every week-end. But in excess. Drink to get drunk. Yah that was fun in my 20s. But even then it was trouble in the making.

Sportdeck203

Ugh that doesn't sound fun, I haven't puked from alcohol since I was a teenager, but I remember it wasn't fun then.

I can see where everyone is coming from now that I've processed it and calmed down, I was angry at some of the posts that's true, I guess I've never really considered myself to have that much of a problem that 3 beer would be that serious, other people drinking normally doesn't bother me, that day I felt like a beer so I had one, didn't have anything to do with wanting to get drunk, never thought much about it till I felt a little buzz and then just thought what am I doing and stopped, anyway it's in the past, and I do appreciate all the concerns and advice.

What's everyone's thoughts on the non alcohol beer? I do love the taste of a beer on a hot day and I think that's going to be the hardest for me, I might give that stuff a try.

You asked about the cabin, it's at Jackfish Lake,SK, Canada, I bought it when I was 21, my wife's parents cabin is next door, I met her when I bought the cabin and asked her to marry me a year later, the rest is history, two kids and couple houses later and we still end up at this cabin every weekend, here's the view from sitting on the deck, I'm a lucky guy for sure, that's the 2015 Hurricane Sportdeck 203 there on the right that I get my user name from, first brand new boat I ever bought, she brings us lots of fun.

Outonthetiles

Not judging, Sportdeck and no guilt trip. You've done fantastically...your before and now pictures you posted are amazing. You didn't kill anyone, you didn't even get drunk and you stopped when you started to feel the effects of the beer. I get that. I think people are just concerned that you'll lose momentum, that's all.

Misc72

Sorry to divert from post, but we can talk about fun stuff too. What a cool love story! This boat looks so awesome. And I love the lil' fire pit area. You have a ton to be grateful for. Put a smile on my face.

As far as NA beer... most here will stay that is a slippery slope. I think it's o.k. for special occassions. That's just my opinion. I have found Ginger Beer. OMG it has a nice crisp bite and the cans and bottles give it the look. I don't know maybe that's not right, but I like it. I also order cranberry juice in wine glasses and keep Sparkling Juice on hand in the champagne looking bottles. As long as I'm not consuming ethanol and I'm proactively seeking motivation to stay quit, it's all good.

I'll say my long relapse does have a positive spin. Because although I still struggle actually kick and scream to want to drink again, it's just easier this time. And instead of feeling awkward this time I feel proud to be say I don't drink when asked. Well, sometimes it's hard. It's always a battle. When my son's friends parents want to go out for drinks it's really hard... I haven't told them yet for fear of judgement and being excluded. anyway, it's my life and my choice and last time I checked they aren't paying my bills. So their opinion is irrelevant right? lol Have a great day and please keep in touch.

Dee74

I have a prepared response

I get that you're going to go your own way no matter what I or anyone else thinks. Thats fine with me - no problem.

I just hope you're not the same kind of drinker I am - and I mean that sincerely, cos there's a world of pain waiting for you if you are.

D