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It's been a year.

Old 04-12-2017, 05:48 PM
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It's been a year.

I've made it a year. I've gotten on anxiety meds and am starting to think I may have ADHD. Not sure though. After month two I started having bad anxiety and depression, which triggered my hashimotos disease. I was a mess last year. I got on meds and quit a bunch of stuff I was doing(commitments) and was slowly feeling normal again. I am realizing I have issues that I've used alcohol to cover up since I was a teen. I'm 34 now. I need to learn how to deal with life again instead of self medicating. I felt the need to post here again because I've gotten to a good place before and assumed that since I'm now taking vitamins and feeling better that maybe my alcoholism was just simply a nutritional deficiency and now that I'm treating it I can handle alcohol again. I know that's a lie though. And I need someone to back me up on that! Tell me that now amount of vitamins, therapy and medications can make me not be an alcoholic anymore! I want to go get evaluated for ADHD and seek therapy because I feel like at this point in my life , if I don't I will relapse!
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Old 04-12-2017, 05:58 PM
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Tell me that now amount of vitamins, therapy and medications can make me not be an alcoholic anymore!
Mama I can't tell you that because I don't believe it's true for any of us here.

My surefire test to see if I'm still an alcoholic is -
  1. get healthy feel great
  2. wonder whether I'm really an alcoholic or not
  3. start thinking about a glass, just to see...and completely disregard or willfully forget all the terrible things that led to me seeing help in the first place

I think if my drinking as just a phase the healthy reaction would still be not to drink anymore.

It bought me nothing, it bought catastrophe into my life and relationships, ...and I love myself and my life sober so much more.

If my first thought is to drink again then nothings changed for me - I'm still an alcohlic.

Don't confuse abstinence with control - your life is great because alcohol is no longer in it...not because you've learned control.

D
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Old 04-12-2017, 06:17 PM
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Nope. You can't go back, I'm afraid. I think we've all been on the lookout for a drinker who was "fixed" and could become a normal drinker but I certainly have never actually found one...

The question of underlying issues is a tough one. For years and years I drank to "medicate my depression and anxiety," but I was willfully ignoring the fact that these issues were seriously impacted (probably even caused by) alcohol. Now I have some sober time, I feel ready to actual confront my mental health issues for real.

If you are making any progress with your other problems, the drinking is going to derail you.

Even if you feel like you are derailed with your other problems, alcohol sure as h*ll ain't gonna help you get back on track.

Congrats on a year sober. That's a huge achievement and a big inspiration to some of us with much less sober time!
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Old 04-12-2017, 06:27 PM
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Congrats on the first of many sober years! There is no cure for alcoholism but to not drink anymore. After being sober for a while now, I have no desire to drink. I know where it would take me and I don't want to go back there.
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Old 04-12-2017, 06:52 PM
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Im at a year too - for me, I feel like I am just now truly making progress in my life - learning things, building better relationships, enjoying moments throughout the day and finding all kinds of things to laugh at and/or be amazed by - I lost so much time to drunkenness - I don't want to squander one more precious minute on alcohol.

Maybe you are making some progress too! Your life is too precious to waste on getting wasted!
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Old 04-12-2017, 11:40 PM
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I don't know if there can be a "cure" in the sense of changing what you "are". But you can absolutely change the behavior. So long as you never drink again what point is there putting a label on it?
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Old 04-13-2017, 05:23 AM
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Originally Posted by 83mama0f2 View Post
I've made it a year. I've gotten on anxiety meds and am starting to think I may have ADHD. Not sure though. After month two I started having bad anxiety and depression, which triggered my hashimotos disease. I was a mess last year. I got on meds and quit a bunch of stuff I was doing(commitments) and was slowly feeling normal again. I am realizing I have issues that I've used alcohol to cover up since I was a teen. I'm 34 now. I need to learn how to deal with life again instead of self medicating. I felt the need to post here again because I've gotten to a good place before and assumed that since I'm now taking vitamins and feeling better that maybe my alcoholism was just simply a nutritional deficiency and now that I'm treating it I can handle alcohol again. I know that's a lie though. And I need someone to back me up on that! Tell me that now amount of vitamins, therapy and medications can make me not be an alcoholic anymore! I want to go get evaluated for ADHD and seek therapy because I feel like at this point in my life , if I don't I will relapse!
Congratulations on a year- that is awesome.

And- you know that thinking you can drink normally - drink at all- is a lie. It's not about nutritional deficiencies, other mental health issues, habits, anything- it's alcoholism. We cannot drink - ever.

What have you been doing to stay sober? Are you working a program? Sounds like you have taken some really good steps and now might be a good time to introduce AA or another program to bolster and improve your tools for building and keeping a great life in recovery.

Good luck.
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Old 04-13-2017, 05:54 AM
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Hi mama congrats on 1 year!!!

There is no reset button on this. Vitamins and good nutrition do not cure us. The only "cure" is not drinking, ever.

I hope you are working on your recovery, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually (whatever that means to you)?

Body, mind, spirit, IMHO, are meant to work together in harmony.

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Old 04-13-2017, 07:32 AM
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Congrats on ONE YEAR!

You may have things that need to be addressed and that is okay. Addressing whether or not you are alcoholic by drinking seems to me to be the wrong road to travel. No one joins SR without knowing within themselves that there is a problem with what they are doing. I can attest that your anxiety will come back in full force and possibly the depression if you drink again. Alcohol is a depressant and causes anxiety. If you already struggle in these areas its like putting gasoline on a fire.

Please be gentle with yourself and please keep posting.
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Old 04-13-2017, 07:40 AM
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Old 04-13-2017, 07:59 AM
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For a long time I sought 'reasons' why alcohol was problematic in my life.

I tried a lot of explanations and approaches.

None of those 'worked' and alcohol just got worse and worse for me.

Now I realize that's because - IT'S ALCOHOL.

And what I want from life is inconsistent with what alcohol offers.

I see no good reason to drink alcohol.

I'm much happier and better off as a result.

This is only my experience - but I share it with you in the event that something in my experience is in some way helpful yo you.

Congratulations on a year!!
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Old 04-13-2017, 09:08 AM
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"maybe my alcoholism was just simply a nutritional deficiency."
welp, if you could verify that with information from he medical field or find information saying that taking vitamins turns a pickle back into a cucumber.....
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Old 04-13-2017, 09:14 AM
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Originally Posted by 83mama0f2 View Post

....I can handle alcohol again. I know that's a lie though. And I need someone to back me up on that!
....
You're right. It's a lie. You know it and you don't need anyone to tell you that.

With a year behind you, you might want to consider taking the next step in your recovery, though, working on the other issues now that you have the chance (thanks to not drinking).
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Old 04-13-2017, 11:06 AM
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Congrats on 1 year. That is a significant milestone. It is not uncommon to have these thoughts of "maybe I can drink again" " maybe I am not really an alcoholic" at these stages.

It is a lie. A big lie by your AV trying to get you to drink again.

I know I can never go back cause I don't want just 1 drink, I want it all.
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Old 04-13-2017, 11:28 AM
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Congratulations!!

1 year is great. ...but it wouldn't take much to slip back into daily drinking so stay vigilant. Stay close to SR!
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Old 04-13-2017, 04:16 PM
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1 Year is fantastic!!
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Old 04-15-2017, 06:30 AM
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Thank you everyone! I know I need to stay sober. I keep thinking of all the positive changes I've made over the last year and how it would be harder to keep those changes and continue to grow if I fell back into drinking again, and had one more thing I needed to control in my life. I'm not in AA but I think it's time to start!
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Old 04-15-2017, 06:48 AM
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83mama0f2, 1 year sober is just FANTASTIC, congratulations, rootin for ya.
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