Zombie79

Hello,
I started my sobriety on Monday. I felt that i hit rock bottom emotionally and financially. It's gotten to the stage where i had to borrow money from a friend simply to make it through the month.

I'd would have called myself high functioning re: alcohol. I used it only for after work, it helped my relax but i couldn't stop at 2 drinks, maybe 2 bottles....
I'd never drink before work, i didn't have the dts but i know i looked like a shambles, I'd wake up forgetting what I'd said to ppl and feeling terribly embarrassed. I know my drunken messages have affected friendships too.
So Monday was an all-time low. I couldn't even eat dinner, just with the worry and stress. Thankfully my friend lent me some money. Today is day 3 but I've had the urge to use some of the money 'just for the last two bottles' idea but even tonight i even felt guilty thinking about going out and doing it. I decided against buying any alcohol.
The plus points are in the 2 full days off I've been able to wake up early,get breakfast,walk the dog, make lunch. Things that i barely could manage to do....Probably simple things most people do. I was just on automatic. Get up,get dressed, get to work and worry about food when i get there.
This forum seems like a good place. I just wanted to put my thoughts into words that I've bottled over time .

Thanks x

Ps, i know it probably depends on the person but the urges, do they decrease a lot after the first week?

gregknight

Welcome, Zombie! This forum is a great resource. IMHO, I think your urges will decrease after the first week. It won't be easy, but hey, you are on day three and you already made another great step on top of that. You decided to not have "one or two last bottles". I'm sure if you think about it, there is no such thing. One drink is too many and a hundred is not enough. The only winning move is to stop drinking. Give yourself a break and try to just watch a little TV, post here, try to rest. Just think about how nice it will be to not be so miserable and think about how awful it will be to go back to day one again. You've already come a long way. My best wishes!

Zombie79

Thank you! I've been reading other posts and realising that I'm really not so alone in this as i thought. Other people's struggles resonate with me and the positive stories seem like something i can strive to

At present though my sleep is really very bad. I'm averaging about 5hours, so I'm looking forward to that aspect getting better

PippoRossi

Welcome, Zombie! You did the right thing by coming here. As far as the urges go, be very prepared for them to never go away. I say that because I know first hand - I am here on DAY 3 (up until last November I had more than 4 years of sobriety under my belt). I will say that what does go away (at least it did for me) was the ability to remember the power alcohol has over me. That's why I started drinking, again, because I thought I could handle it. Be present with those urges, and never forget the reason why you stopped. Cheers and hang in there! It gets better and better.

PhoenixJ

Zombie- welcome. T

SidV80

Welcome Zombie! I've only been on SR for the few weeks now myself, but it has been so helpful. Like you, the stories resonate. One did today, while I was driving home. Someone had posted "Yes, you [I]could[I]drink, but would it really make you feel better?" That hit home. Whatever "good" feeling would quickly be replaced by shame, sickness, and sleeplessness. Good luck!
Day Three is about over for me. On to Day Four sober tomorrow!