BFOX

Hi, first off I would like to say that I have read through some previous posts, so I know this has been discussed in various fashions in other forums, but I wanted to share some of my personal concerns / situation and see if anyone had any advice or has been in a similar position..

I’ve been sober for about a month now, and what has been most difficult for me is not the not drinking, it’s the thought of re-establishing myself and getting myself on a track that can get me back to where I was prior to my alcoholism taking me to zero. My education and background is in finance / investment and portfolio research. I recently turned thirty and up until about 2.5-3 years ago I was at the top of my position and right on track to do whatever I wanted to do within my field. I went from drinking too much at nights to waiting for the liquor store to open before work out of nowhere.

Fast forward and now I’m filing bankruptcy, living at my dad’s and picking up random Craigslist jobs to generate what little cash I have. I’ve been so incredibly fortunate to not have got any DUIs or other criminal charges, but for anyone in finance, bad credit and / or getting fired from a previous position is most often a deal breaker. When I mention this at meetings I get an answer like “start small, just get X job for now until you become more clear headed etc.,” which would be totally fine if it would result in me getting back to a career I really enjoy and am good at. I’d be more than happy to dig ditches for 2 years if society and regulators were to give me a chance again, but I don’t know if I even have a remote possibility and it’s all I can think about.

I’ve thought quite a bit about going back to school to get a degree in something else, and, again, I certainly don’t mind the work, but when I read job descriptions of the degrees that pop in my head, I’m not really interested whatsoever…

Anyway, not really sure where I’m going with this, but should I just give up and accept that I won’t ever be able to work in my field again? If there is hope how would I ever tell my story without downright lying? I’ve done that once and it got me an offer that was rescinded after HR found out I might have been fired from a previous position as part of one of the many absurd and unfair checks FINRA requires be public information for those who manage money for other individuals.

I know I’m getting way ahead of myself perhaps, but all I seek at this point is hope, or just the belief that if I put forth the time and effort I can once again do what I am / was passionate about. If anyone has a similar story or situation that they have been I would greatly appreciate your comments even if they are suggesting I move on…

As a side note for anyone with a finance background, all of my experience has been on the institutional side which for some reason does not require you have the Series 7, so I am not as familiar with some of these security laws as most advisors are….
Sorry this is longwinded and sloppy. Thanks to you all!!

LadyinBC

I don't really have any useful advice, however, I wanted to congratulate you on 1 month! Take it one day at a time that is my motto.

Never give up. What is meant for you will come to you in ways you don't expect. My friend always tells me that and she is right .

JustTony

I have a story that's kind of related.

I'm the CEO of a Group of Companies (one main one and five smaller ones). One of the smaller ones is highly regulated and this anecdote concerns that business.

Last week my Executive that runs that business told me that he was going to have to let a guy go that works in a middle level management job. He told me that this guy was suffering the shakes, smelled of alcohol, had been late a couple of times, was affecting his work and that the smell of booze had been noted by a couple of people. To cut a long story short I stopped his dismissal - instructed a support structure option through our healthcare policy - and instructed HR to counsel the employee on ground rules from here on in.

Now a lot of that might not work for reasons we all know but I guess what I'm trying to say is that employment is ultimately about PEOPLE. I gave this man a chance due to who I am, what I am and how I have suffered.

You just need to keep playing the numbers game and sooner or later you'll either find a fellow sufferer or just someone that can see by all this crap regardless.

PS - I was going to start a thread about this (it happened last Monday - my day 7). In the end I didn't as it sounds like BS on the SR forum but it is 100% true and not just a silly tale.

Tony.

Berrybean

I wouldn't count anything out. Plenty of financiers have seen bad times and raised themselves back out of the ashes. One thing I would say is that you may need to accept that the timescale is likely not to be what you'd like. Most of us come to sobriety with an alcoholic impatience. One that leads us to making rubbish choices for the sake of instant gratification. I would suggest, take what work you can but really focus on your recovery. When you have strings sobriety and some solid recovery behind you, who know what you'll end up choosing to do - many of us find that our priorities and life goals alter quite a lot in the course of our recovery. But whatever you end up aiming to do, you will be more of an asset to the role with good sobriety and recovery. And be prepared for it to take a little while.

Maybe take a look at Dee's thread to start putting a recovery plan together if you haven't done this yet... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html

Wishing you all the best for your recovery and sobriety. BB

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome to SR, BFOX! I'm glad you found us here. I don't know much about the field of finance so I can't you there; I can't say if you can save that career. But you're well on your way to saving your life! At the risk of sounding pollyannaish, every day on the green side of the lawn is a gift that affords you opportunities to better yourself. It's remarkable how much better things can get with hard work, an open mind and sobriety.

Soberwolf

Congrats on a month sober

August252015

Agree, agree, agree.

My life - and work- look nothing like I thought it would in my 20s when I had a similar success path as you describe. At 414 days, my recovery is still my main priority- and it definitely came before anything else in the early days. I had NO IDEA what lay on the other side of drinking but I knew I had to find out, and that includes continuing to discover.

I agree whole heartedly with the comments about "time taking time," so to speak, fighting off impatience, and that you are likely to find a very different path- AND be content and feel fulfilled in it- in recovery.

I say this from a place where I took a fast food job- one of the best decisions of my early sobriety- then went back to the restaurant world where I had worked in my drinking days (and at the same restaurant pair) - another absolutely great decision. Now, I am looking at how to use my recovery to benefit others particularly in terms of a new career path- particularly in a capacity in the restaurant industry, where both addiction and recovery are a huge reality. I am 40- and ruling nothing out, rather seeing opportunities unfold as I seek them.

Amazing things can happen in sobriety. Keep sober- work a program - and keep going one day at a time. Things will come.

Good luck.

Alan6154

Your story in some ways mirrors many of us on SR. My recommendation from a purely career point is to get a job in your field but below the level you were working at before. Instead of a regional manager get a job as a assistant store manager so to speak. Prove yourself and opportunities will happen.

If you get a position do not remind them every week that you used to be at an upper level. They know but building trust takes time. When you interview let them know that you had some personal life situations that ended up interfering with you work life and try to leave it at that.

Finance is a high stress environment and mistakes are seldom tolerated. Get in the door and let them SEE that you are someone that can be trusted. Be Early, Polite, Professional, and Helpful.

tiffanyeagle

i think you are projecting.
is it realistic to expect someone to hire you and trust you with 'other people's money' with one month of not drinking?
we hit bottom for a reason and it can be a time to rebuild body mind and spirit, not to get career back asap. maybe take this time as a time to focus on you, and your health, you might be surprised that you do find something you want to do again and it might be something different than what you even ever imagined. and it might not be revealed right now, after 1 month of not drinking. sometimes not being allowed to go back to who we were before the fall is a gift of sobriety. that might not of even been who you were supposed to be. even if you are good at it and love it. who knows it might have even contributed to your alcoholism's progression at that time. time takes time and give yourself the gift of time. take the pressure off of yourself (pressure to get back to where you were before right away) take this time to love yourself and heal . yes do something else for a while and re visit this in a year or two. it's ok.
really.
it is.