FreedomCA

I relapsed on my vacation after having 5 months sober and have been drinking for a week. Although some of it has been fun, I know that I can't live a normal functioning life with alcohol in it, and bad things could have easily happened during this brief stunt. I still have 6 days left on the vacation, but I know today needs to become my Day 1 again because there is too much planned in the coming days in which I have to get up early, and I also want to have some sobriety in place before I get back home. My plan is to do a lot of reading on recovery and spirituality in the meantime. I know that getting past Day 1 will be difficult. I also know that moving on and forgiving myself for my slip will enhance my chances for success so that I don't get immersed in a pity party.

january161992

great job on demonstrating willingness to get back into recovery

willingness is the key

MarkTwain

Vacations can be dangerous early in recovery. People have a funny way of rationalizing what they do on vacation, you know? Somehow whatever they do doesn't count. Marketing people know this only too well ("What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."...you've heard that one).

The good news for you is that you've recognized what's going on mid-way through your vacation and can start on day one again.

Best wishes.

MarkTwain

....and by the way, whatever you do in "Vegas" or anywhere else doesn't stay there. That a hideously manipulative marketing lie.

Whatever damage you've done to your self-esteem, your finances, your body, etc., goes back home with you.

Take a new recovery back home with you, Freedom.

ljc267

The mental part is the toughest imo. You made an error in judgement and you know that. That's good. It's better then thinking you can actually drink safely again.

Start over and move on. Don't look at it as a loss. Look at it as learning opportunity.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Freedom. Glad you have decided to make this day 1, you won't regret that decision. Don't spend too much time looking back but we do need to learn from our mistakes. To be quite frank, it it wasn't too hard to see this coming in your last thread about the cruise. It would be very much worth it for you to read through it and figure out how you can avoid a repeat. It's difficult being around another active user/addict but there are some steps you can take to help minimize your exposure/potential codependence issues.

Ann

I hope you will be able to stay sober while still in this environment. It's okay to go home early, I hope your trouble doesn't worsen if you choose to continue the cruise. Please be safe,

Midwest1981

good decision to get back on track! I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip the best you can.

August252015

Great advice.

FreedomCA

Thank you all for your replies. The learning experience for me with this setback is that I have to do a better job of taking better care and being responsible for myself. So far so good today at staying sober. Because of what we have planned coming up in various ports I feel fully the significance of staying sober and am aware of the rough road ahead if I don't stay sober. I am going to be going to bed earlier in the coming days and hope to take care of myself so that this can have a happy ending.

Ann

Freedom, as long as you are and stay sober and keep taking good care of yourself, you already have a happy ending. As you've already learned, vacation doesn't guarantee anything, neither will returning home. It is within you, the key to your happiness, not held by anyone or any circumstance beyond yourself.

Good luck. Stay safe.

Nonsensical

Welcome back. Sounds like you've got the right attitude and a plan.

You can do this.

FreedomCA

Thank you. Day 2 is here, and I am feeling well and energized. And you are very right Ann in that the key to my happiness is within me and not part of something else. On to my excursion -thank goodness I am not tired and hungover! I can enjoy the day!

BrendaChenowyth

My recent relapse has been tricky because I've been enjoying drinking, therefore having a hard time convincing myself to stop.. but my behavior has become very erratic, I am finally getting to the point I'm sick of me, which is good! lol

I feel like sobriety is easy to keep going as long as you stay focused on what's important, and never entertain the idea of drinking for long. Never think you can have just one, it always escalates. A switch gets flipped once take a drink, and you go from feeling like you couldn't imagine ever drinking again, to not caring at all, you just can't see the other side of it.. it's very weird.

soberandhonest

Good morning Freedom. Great job on taking a stand and making it to Day 2! Keep it up now so that you have a bit of a foundation when your vacation comes to an end. If there is a way for you to mix in some exercise during these last few days of your vacay, that could be a great outlet for you. Keep us posted on how things are going for you. Enjoy the rest of your (sober) vacation!

FreeOwl

I did that, too!!!

Except my relapse lasted a year and a half.

Now I'm over 3 years sober.

That's WAY, WAY, WAY better.

I hope your relapse is officially over.

Mine began when I finally CHOSE sobriety - then took every ACTION I could, every day, to honor and support that choice.

You can do it.

Dee74

Lots of really great advice above

Build a sober life you love and you'll never want to escape from it.
I'm glad you found your way back here FreedomCA.

D