Deckard1997

I cant stand anyone. I wish God kill us all.

whopper

sorry, you had to see another face. Wanna tell us what is going on?

Dee74

Well I have a face like a dropped pie...but..yeah tell us what's going on Deckhard?

D

JustTony

I can't read your mind Deckard but I can share related thoughts? If they're coming from the same place I can only guess?

As a drinker - and even sober - I look for a higher standard of thinking and being. I strive to be that and demand it of everyone else - but I can turn into my own pity party pretty damn quickly. I'm not sure I want everyone to be struck down by some kind of reckoning - but I definitely want to be left alone a lot of the time.

One thing I do find though is the less I drink the more tolerant I try and be. Yesterday someone nearly tipped me over the edge and if that would have been in week 1 it would have happened. After 14 days I found a bit more resolve.

I guess I'm trying to say that I still dislike people and their imperfections (almost as much as I can dislike myself) but I find my intolerance waning the longer I stay sober.

Don't know if you can relate or not?

Berrybean

Yes. I hated everybody as well. Just marginally less than I hated myself.

Might be worth adding something to your recovery plan.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

january161992

i relate

cool honesty

the old timers told me to keep coming back

i did

Auroraxp

Try and see things from people's perspectives. Everyone is going through their own struggles. Own heart breaks, addictions, and miserable days. Maybe you feel smarter than everyone. Who knows maybe you are in certain ways. There certainly are a lot of shifty people but there are some decent ones too.

tomsteve

i hated everyone because i hated myself. continued drinking didn't help.
i wish and pray God will come into your life and help you see the light- see that changing yourself will help you see the world differently.

Outonthetiles

Even my face? People say I resemble a slightly weathered Johnny Depp.

Deckard1997

Can't believe I posted this. I know it's no excuse but I was drunk on vodka when I wrote this . I'm a nice guy but when I drink too much I turn into a monster I got arrested that day for public intoxication got out in 12 hours. I'm just glad I didn't hurt anyone that day or myself.
I better not get too drunk anymore. Hope you all the best.
Also I was going to delete this thread but I thought it might help those see the truth of the bad side of alcohol in an educational way.

JustTony

Forget what you post. Sticks and stones and all that.

I'm sure you're more worried about being so drunk that you were arrested and have the self confessed propensity to hurt others.

You no longer have a responsibility to you own well being. It seems that you admit you have a responsibility to everyone else around you if you drink again. I hope this realisation gives you an absolute resolve to give up alcohol forever and not just:

"I better not get too drunk anymore" - as that isn't going to be possible for you I don't think?

Dee74

I'm just glad you're back Deckard -

man, drinkers like you and I have no control over that - you already know this.

Once I take that first drink all my good intentions are lost.

My advice is give up on the fantasy and get a recovery plan sorted out. You know it makes sense.


D

Berrybean

Well I think everyone here can remember that pain of sobering up and remembering things we've said or done.

Thing is, for an alcoholic to 'not drink too much' we tend to have to get off the booze completely. It's the first drink that is the problem, because that's the one that invariably leads to the others. Not only is moderation barely even possible, since when did any alcoholic really want just a couple of drinks. When we drink we want to get wasted. To escape. For the world to feel different. And that doesn't happen after a couple.

I hope you decide you deserve some changes in your life.

All the best BB

tomsteve

so,posting this and getting arrested isn't enough to help ya decide to stop drinking?

PhoenixJ

With life comes the spark of hope and a soulful peace. With SR, meetings, journal, professional support and a lot of very hard work- I slowly grow. I did not hate myself- because I believed I was an offence to my family by my existence. I drank to run and hide from myself. Not possible. With sobriety now, at least I have some semblance of self respect.
Empathy, compassion and support offered. Keep posting.