Greetings everyone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 3
Greetings everyone
Good evening everybody (evening where I am). I've been floating around this forum for quite some time; popping in here and there to read others experiences and gain some vicarious support, but I've finally registered and am happy to (officially) be part of the group. I only hope that I can contribute and help others get some much needed support as I have gotten here.
Today I am 70 days sober (soon to be 71). It's not the first time I've been sober At 32 years old, just the most recent, and hopefully final time. I'll try and keep this to the point. The reason, among many, I've decided to make this change is because I'm a chemist and in order to advance in my job to the next level, I need all my wits and brain power working at full capacity. I work with some pretty dangerous stuff and need to be constantly "on" for both my safety and everyone else's. The problem is, I also have a tendency towards binge drinking, it doesn't always happen but when it does, it's bad and I mean BAD.
To make things even more important, my girlfriend is also getting sick of these behaviours and I can absolutely understand. She's the same age as myself and wants a future with family for us but both of us know that's not going to happen if I keep repeating these patterns. Since my girlfriend has seen me make it this far and this well, she has a lot of faith restored in us. I feel guilty because to her I've made this seem really easy. I never complain about having a bad day or a day where I've been tempted to drink. I always seem happy and content to her when in my head I'm yelling at myself and constantly coaxing myself into a state of calm.
I'm nervous to tell her about these things because I don't want her to think everything could go south at a moments notice but I also don't want to snap because of bottling up and pushing down all those feelings.
Anyway, I feel better just writing this, if anyone has any opinions, tips or just brutal honesty for me, I'm all ears....or in this case eyeballs. I really hope everyone is doing well and is enjoying another sober day (or night). Thanks all!
Today I am 70 days sober (soon to be 71). It's not the first time I've been sober At 32 years old, just the most recent, and hopefully final time. I'll try and keep this to the point. The reason, among many, I've decided to make this change is because I'm a chemist and in order to advance in my job to the next level, I need all my wits and brain power working at full capacity. I work with some pretty dangerous stuff and need to be constantly "on" for both my safety and everyone else's. The problem is, I also have a tendency towards binge drinking, it doesn't always happen but when it does, it's bad and I mean BAD.
To make things even more important, my girlfriend is also getting sick of these behaviours and I can absolutely understand. She's the same age as myself and wants a future with family for us but both of us know that's not going to happen if I keep repeating these patterns. Since my girlfriend has seen me make it this far and this well, she has a lot of faith restored in us. I feel guilty because to her I've made this seem really easy. I never complain about having a bad day or a day where I've been tempted to drink. I always seem happy and content to her when in my head I'm yelling at myself and constantly coaxing myself into a state of calm.
I'm nervous to tell her about these things because I don't want her to think everything could go south at a moments notice but I also don't want to snap because of bottling up and pushing down all those feelings.
Anyway, I feel better just writing this, if anyone has any opinions, tips or just brutal honesty for me, I'm all ears....or in this case eyeballs. I really hope everyone is doing well and is enjoying another sober day (or night). Thanks all!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Welcome to SR, Soma19! And congrats on 70 days. You will likely find it easier at about 6 months. However, it is also important to learn to find alternatives to drinking for stress, boredom, or whatever else triggers you. And, as Dee will point out, you need to make a plan.
I agree that you should be cautious about being too share-y with your girlfriend. The people here on SR will be able to relate to your struggles better. That said, you don't want to get married or start a family feeling the way you do right now--meaning that you seem to be putting on a front for her right now. Things may be much different for you in a year or so when your brain and lifestyle have adjusted.
I agree that you should be cautious about being too share-y with your girlfriend. The people here on SR will be able to relate to your struggles better. That said, you don't want to get married or start a family feeling the way you do right now--meaning that you seem to be putting on a front for her right now. Things may be much different for you in a year or so when your brain and lifestyle have adjusted.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 216
As long as you asked for some honesty........
Ask yourself this question: Do I want my girlfriend to love me for who I am and have a family with me, or do I want her making decisions fooled by this facade of happiness and content it's killing me to maintain?
You can continue manipulating her by putting on a front, or be honest and start making some real decisions.
I would maintain that anything real is better than anything fake. Just my personal experience, not necessarily everyone's.
Ask yourself this question: Do I want my girlfriend to love me for who I am and have a family with me, or do I want her making decisions fooled by this facade of happiness and content it's killing me to maintain?
You can continue manipulating her by putting on a front, or be honest and start making some real decisions.
I would maintain that anything real is better than anything fake. Just my personal experience, not necessarily everyone's.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Welcome. Keep reading and posting, that in itself helped me a lot. I'd suggest that you do this even when you don't need to, so that when you DO need to it will come as second nature and you will have got to know people on here, and who's advise you trust and respect. Also, we get to watch other people getting through feeling certain ways and learn from it without realising. And sharing what we've learned ourselves serves to strengthen our learning and understanding, so when we're tempted to drink and our AV starts trying to call, the shots, we are more likely to be able to take our own advice, and tend towards slower-gratificatio wisdom rather than snatch for the instant gratification that our AV waves at us.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Soma,
71 days clean is amazing. You are physically clean.
Mentally, the addiction lasts forever. The craves deminish, but the desire to get hammered remains.
I'm nearly 2 years sober and i think about getting drunk sometimes.
This desire is emotional, i defeat it w analysis. I know the results of drinking. If i could get away w it, i would drink.
But, i am getting older...booze hurts me more.
That is all. When you think you have been a good boy long enough and it is ok to have a snort.....
That is when the real mental battle begins..
Thanks.
71 days clean is amazing. You are physically clean.
Mentally, the addiction lasts forever. The craves deminish, but the desire to get hammered remains.
I'm nearly 2 years sober and i think about getting drunk sometimes.
This desire is emotional, i defeat it w analysis. I know the results of drinking. If i could get away w it, i would drink.
But, i am getting older...booze hurts me more.
That is all. When you think you have been a good boy long enough and it is ok to have a snort.....
That is when the real mental battle begins..
Thanks.
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