bronzie

I have been listening to everything people here on SR, as well as my doctor and counselor have told me. I took all my medications correctly today, and got thru the entire day feeling great! Work was busy and stressful, but I didn't get too overwhelmed, I just stayed focused. Got home and my ankle was hurting soooo bad, I just "knew" if I had a drink, it would take the pain away. But instead, I wrapped it and took an ibuprofen....which just took the edge off, but it still hurts....always does after work.
Anyway, for some reason here it is 9pm and I am craving a whiskey on the rocks. I know I will feel much better if I just have some hot herbal tea and try and relax or sleep. But tomorrow starts early again and I know the weekend is near....kinda freaking out.

I think this may have been the same exact feeling I had last Thurs, that led me to drink. I just wasn't aware of it at the time. Thursdays are usually a busier, more stressful day at my job. Anyways, I'm getting my little one to bed now, and hopefully won't have the urge to get up after kids are in bed, to have a "nightcap" which I know would turn into at least 4-5 and then I would feel crappy and sluggish in the morning.

Grymt

"I think this may have been the same exact feeling I had last Thurs, that led me to drink. I just wasn't aware of it at the time. "

This is very critical. This awareness could be just the thing that makes the difference.
I suggest maintain the awareness and see how long it lasts while trying to not give it any more importance than any other feelings and while keeping on doing whatever needs to be done moment to moment. This strengthens the equanimity and facilitates the rising and passing away of this feeling. It may, because of the awareness, mean that for some time the feeling intensifies but it does so to pass away.

badger257

You are playing the tape forward already... kudos. A drink is not an option. So now that drinking is off the table, what else do you wanna talk about. Great job posting before a drink. Awesome stuff bronzie!!!

bronzie

Thank you, and here it is an hour and a half later, and I haven't drank anything. I would have to walk out to the greenhouse in the rain to get liquor anyway. I got kids to sleep, but it's the headache and some thoughts of stressful situations that is keeping me awake. I'm having a rough time here at the end of day 4. I feel tired and lonely. Those are my HALT things I have going on right now. I don't really have anything else I have to do except work on my plan for the weekend, and some lesson planning for work.

bronzie

Oh, and sorry it took me that long to respond....kids got to bed later than usual tonight, and tomorrow morning will be an earlier one than normal. Thank you for responding to my post. It helps being here!

Soberwolf

Your doing great Bronzie x

PhoenixJ

GOOD FOR YOU. If you did drink, perhaps feel better for a few minutes- the pain goes away and then once walking again, the injury to the ankle gets worse because of the drinking. Well done.

Dee74

That's really great Bronzie

D

bronzie

Thanks all. It's after midnight here so I'm officially going into day 5 (yay)!
Off to bed I go.
G'night!

Soberwolf

Awesome

Berrybean

Hey Bronzie. Good going,

What have you got planned for the weekend to keep HALT at bay? Our strength in recovery lies in our willingness to focus on the positive. So instead of that you can't have a drink, focus on what you can do because you are sober. Instead of focussing on damaged and lost relationships, focus on the ones that you still have, or can nurture. Instead of focussing on the problem, focussing on the solution.

Sober weekends are fantastic and a real gift once we get used to the change in routine. They might seem long at first, but as you start learning what you a enjoy doing sober they'll soon start whizzing by again.

Take care.
BB

AnvilheadII

why is there alcohol in your greenhouse?

Anna

I'm glad you recognize that Thursdays, in particular, are tough days for you. It's important to be as aware as you can be about what is affecting you, so that you can deal with the stresses.

thomas11

Good job bronzie. SR saved me a few times. I took people's advice and posted before I drank and was talked out of it. Keep it going.

SimplyFree

Hang in there Bronzie. I'm on day 5, the weekend is here, so I made sure the house is dry, and I'm planing to go for a bike ride early in the morning. That is hard to do if I drink. I have committed to help a family move, not because it's fun, rather I'm safe and busy. Same for Sunday. Worked to keep commitments out in front of me each day. I'm going to be tired, but hopefully Monday will find me on day 8. Day 1 stinks.... Every time.

Dee74

Hows it going Bronzie?

D

bronzie

Because that's where my dad keeps it, instead of in the house, he keeps it away from me, but I always find out where it is. Anyways, I haven't touched it, I just know there is some out there. Requires the same willpower not to walk down there (it's a ways away) as it does not to stop into the liquor store, or put bottles of wine in my shopping cart at the supermarket. That's how I have to think about it.

We just don't keep it in the kitchen because it would be right in front of my face all the time, and I do better without the temptation. But it's not my house, I pay rent here, but the properth belongs to my parents, and their request is that I do not drink here, and they would like me to stay sober and not drink anywhere at all. And I want the same for myself, I want to live a sober life starting right now!

bronzie

That is great! How are you doing now?

bronzie

Hi Dee. It is going better this evening. Thanks for checking on me! I just got outside and spent time with my daughter for most of the afternoon. And now we are watching a movie. I'm just keeping my attitude positive and not drinking!