BrendaChenowyth

Insecurity. Maybe for them, self-esteem was always found through externals.. and maybe they just want us to be happy..

I can remember once on the way to a band concert in middle school (I played clarinet) I said I was nervous.. and my mother turned around in the car and said "Sweetheart.. your mother is a fat woman who has always had a man in her life".. and 11 year old me is like.. Mom, I'm nervous about the CONCERT. Not about boys liking me. Get on the same page as me!

She tells me to put on makeup when, again, I am just going to the hospital to look at my patients' charts and prep for the next day.. I don't have time, nor the interest.. If I'm clean and presentable I'm fine. She says what if you meet nice doctor? HUH? Not on my mind! Everything is not about a man.

So maybe these critical remarks are all about wanting us to be happy, because our mothers think that being happy means attracting a man....

Tetra

Yeah, I get that too.

I try not to get annoyed, but with great difficulty.

My therapist said "your mom is in her 60s, right? So do you think she is going to change at that age? The only thing you can change is you and your reaction to her". I try to remember that.

BrendaChenowyth

I am going to start being blunt. I am 32 years old, I am a big girl, when I want to put make up on, I will put make up on.

I still run in to people who think I'm shy and I need more outgoing people to pull me out of my shell. Again, 32 years old. My personality is what it is, my comfort zones what they are. I like quiet. I like listening. You learn a lot.

STDragon

Remember how I Said was not going to work late? Well, I'm still here.

STDragon

Just got caught up on the thread (OK I skimmed some parts). Still at work, waiting on things to come back,

SAH don't do it, please talk to us.
How are you doing badger? Has it passed?
Tetra, can you divorce you mom and take custody of your dad?

Ruby2

Hey everyone. I'm in for the weekend. Skimmed through the thread. MidnightB, congrats on the job, new apartment, AND getting back into boxing. I know you missed it so much. That's exciting.

I'm off all of next week. My kids are off for school break so this year I decided I'd take it off with them. We aren't going anywhere. There will be no FaceBook posts of the beach or any fancy trips. Chores, etc. Catching up on Laundry.

Hang in there for the weekend. Nothing worse than giving in to temptation and regretting it the next day, as you feel sick as a dog. Nothing gets done.

Soberandhealthy

I'm sorry guys I had the best intentions I just fail

Soberandhealthy

It just typical me I mess I care for

Dee74

How about trying to stop drinking now SAH...make this a blip and not a full on relapse.

If you keep on drinking there's a good chance you won't be in any shape to make it to the Drs on Monday.

Be smart. Be the person you want to be.

D

saoutchik

Go to bed Soberandhealthy and don't let things get out of hand. You haven't failed - that happens when you don't try - but you need to not mess up at this time.

"Be the person you want to be" this is good advice SaH.

saoutchik

The forecast is for good weather today but it is a foggy start

Soberwolf

Morning

petals

Morning guys. Wise words Tetra. Special hugs for you SAH
Nice to see some familiar faces back as well as lots of new ones.
Anyone heard from Weasel?
Hope everyone is doing ok.
I'm still feeling out of sorts....
Hugs.xx

Soberwolf

Hope you feel better soon Petals

Lava256

Spot on. Your mother is never going to change. Just as my husband is never going to change wrt his criticisms. It's really second nature to him and it's not limited to me. He criticizes everybody. You can't even fight him really. In the beginning i'd turn on my critical side and point out some of his faults (not my nature at all) but all he would do was acknowledge them fully and admit to being at fault. So I was lost. I couldn't and can't win this war with him. All I can do is work on myself and how I react to it. He is a bit ( a lot, lol) older than me so he does have some experience under his belt and i'm finally accepting of that. No need to fight it.

Lava256

I'm 32 years old too. I almost wear no make up. OK, I love red lipstick but that's it. Some days (when I fee like it) foundation but most days none. I wear almost no jewellery, only a watch. I think i'm weird. The other day I was in the bank and I saw this hot girl, all in high heels, looking amazing and I thought, what am I doing with myself? My nails are all chipped and plain!!! I'm now prettying myself up for Mr. for when he comes back home early Sunday morning, LOL.

Gilmer

You're not the same old same old, SAH! You may not see a change in your general outlook since two weeks ago, but we do! During that time you've been actively facing trials and dealing with them.

Those are real skills you learned that are with you now--this small slip is not going to take that foundation away!

Stop now. It's useless to you. You have proved that you have what it takes!

LadyBlue0527

SAH, there is no one here you need to apologize to. Fail is not the word. You came here, you posted. You already know that drinking isn't going to change what made you drink in the first place.

You managed to string together what I think is the longest time you've had so far? How about the goal to get even further out this time? You can do this, you really can. Keep coming back here. I'm thinking of you.

LadyBlue0527

Thinking of everyone here who is struggling. Bix, where are you? Missing your posts!

LadyBlue0527

THIS IS A RIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Tetra!