Groundhog Day Weekender 7-9 April
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I'm in!
I remember the feeling I often had when still drinking - "Is this all there is? How did I end up this way? How do I get off this stupid treadmill of misery?" Pretty much my whole life consisted of - drink, pass out, feel like crap the next day, swear to quit, drink again, etc. There weren't very many moments or days of happiness or even contentment. Weekends were usually a complete blur. I'm so happy to have gotten off that treadmill, and to have gotten back some happiness and contentment. Even if life isn't a bowl of cherries all the time, at least it's not miserable every minute.
I remember the feeling I often had when still drinking - "Is this all there is? How did I end up this way? How do I get off this stupid treadmill of misery?" Pretty much my whole life consisted of - drink, pass out, feel like crap the next day, swear to quit, drink again, etc. There weren't very many moments or days of happiness or even contentment. Weekends were usually a complete blur. I'm so happy to have gotten off that treadmill, and to have gotten back some happiness and contentment. Even if life isn't a bowl of cherries all the time, at least it's not miserable every minute.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
I am seriously stressed out.
I was at work until after 5 PM on Tuesday and I was thinking about clocking out when my phone rang and I saw it was "Major Theatre". When himself calls me from up there it is never good for me. Anyway he said he was looking at the biopsy reports I put in his folder and he wanted me to call this patient and tell her to come in the following day as a priority. So I called the person and I got through to their family. So the person said that the patient was in bed but I could tell them and they would let her know. So I just said I'm the secretary and the doctor wanted to see them tomorrow and could they come in if possible. The person said "yeah that's fine". I said "thank you. We will see you tomorrow". They thanked me and said "yes see you tomorrow please God". I just knew by the tone that they knew what was coming. Anyway that's the second case I have come across in 2 weeks where the per had a long history of alcohol abuse plus a 40 cigarettes per day history. Life is so hard for so many people.
Dealing with people is just so hard. I have booked a patient in for next week. His mother phones me every single day - plus 3 times this afternoon - looking for this and that. Every single call I get is "the most important". Every one tells me that "the doctor wants me/my family member to come in tomorrow for the procedure". I ask the doctor if he wants them in tomorrow? He always says "I said nothing of the sort. Fit them in when you can". Then it's all "I want to speak to the consultant directly". I would be fired for handing out his phone number to people like that. I want...I want...I want is all I ever hear. No you can't come in tomorrow because he is in theatre all morning and in the day ward all afternoon.
If anyone feels sorry for people it is me. I have candles lighting every night for people, hoping that they will get a bed - like my Grandmother did for me the morning I had a big exam - but there is no point in shouting at me.
I'm actually a qualified teacher. I got fed up of that. I loved teaching the children but dealing with mammies who think their little Mary or Johnny is the most gifted child in the world "you just aren't teaching properly" got on my nerves after a while.
I like my job a lot. Sometimes I will call a patient to offer them a surgery date and they are so grateful and they tell me I am "wonderful" and it makes me almost weepy. I was actually going to do overtime tonight but right now I'm just tired of the whole thing. Perhaps I'll feel better after some extra sleep.
I was at work until after 5 PM on Tuesday and I was thinking about clocking out when my phone rang and I saw it was "Major Theatre". When himself calls me from up there it is never good for me. Anyway he said he was looking at the biopsy reports I put in his folder and he wanted me to call this patient and tell her to come in the following day as a priority. So I called the person and I got through to their family. So the person said that the patient was in bed but I could tell them and they would let her know. So I just said I'm the secretary and the doctor wanted to see them tomorrow and could they come in if possible. The person said "yeah that's fine". I said "thank you. We will see you tomorrow". They thanked me and said "yes see you tomorrow please God". I just knew by the tone that they knew what was coming. Anyway that's the second case I have come across in 2 weeks where the per had a long history of alcohol abuse plus a 40 cigarettes per day history. Life is so hard for so many people.
Dealing with people is just so hard. I have booked a patient in for next week. His mother phones me every single day - plus 3 times this afternoon - looking for this and that. Every single call I get is "the most important". Every one tells me that "the doctor wants me/my family member to come in tomorrow for the procedure". I ask the doctor if he wants them in tomorrow? He always says "I said nothing of the sort. Fit them in when you can". Then it's all "I want to speak to the consultant directly". I would be fired for handing out his phone number to people like that. I want...I want...I want is all I ever hear. No you can't come in tomorrow because he is in theatre all morning and in the day ward all afternoon.
If anyone feels sorry for people it is me. I have candles lighting every night for people, hoping that they will get a bed - like my Grandmother did for me the morning I had a big exam - but there is no point in shouting at me.
I'm actually a qualified teacher. I got fed up of that. I loved teaching the children but dealing with mammies who think their little Mary or Johnny is the most gifted child in the world "you just aren't teaching properly" got on my nerves after a while.
I like my job a lot. Sometimes I will call a patient to offer them a surgery date and they are so grateful and they tell me I am "wonderful" and it makes me almost weepy. I was actually going to do overtime tonight but right now I'm just tired of the whole thing. Perhaps I'll feel better after some extra sleep.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Yes, I am also in for the weekend. I have decided to go to my parents for the weekend but being with my mom is not a stress free environment either. Decisions, decisions! At least my father will be pleased to see me and he said my mother is cooking my favourite dinner.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 292
I recall being in a similar cycle where it was:
Drink
Pass out
Wake up, feeling like death
Drink in the morning, to keep the withdrawal at bay so I could function
Suffer through a sweaty, anxious day at work
Go home
Lather, rinse, repeat.
At some point, I said to myself: "So this is what it's going to be for the rest of your life, huh? If so, what's the point of even getting up in the morning?"
That's when I finally realized that there was a BIG PROBLEM here that I needed to handle. I wasn't successful right away, and it took a number of failed attempts, but I finally got sober and just got past a year.
That point where I finally realized I had a problem, but didn't quite know how to handle it....I know a lot of people are at that stage now, and may be really scared/confused. I was, too. The good news is that, for me, it proved to be the beginning of the end, because it's when I started to take action; even if I wasn't successful at first, at least I was trying, and I knew the direction I needed to go.
Drink
Pass out
Wake up, feeling like death
Drink in the morning, to keep the withdrawal at bay so I could function
Suffer through a sweaty, anxious day at work
Go home
Lather, rinse, repeat.
At some point, I said to myself: "So this is what it's going to be for the rest of your life, huh? If so, what's the point of even getting up in the morning?"
That's when I finally realized that there was a BIG PROBLEM here that I needed to handle. I wasn't successful right away, and it took a number of failed attempts, but I finally got sober and just got past a year.
That point where I finally realized I had a problem, but didn't quite know how to handle it....I know a lot of people are at that stage now, and may be really scared/confused. I was, too. The good news is that, for me, it proved to be the beginning of the end, because it's when I started to take action; even if I wasn't successful at first, at least I was trying, and I knew the direction I needed to go.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Actually I mean to say that if the patient was 'query cancer' he would tell me "urgent - next available slot'. However he won’t be bringing some one in for a routine tonsillectomy next week - which makes up a large amount of the calls I get.
Anyway thanks for letting me vent a little bit before I explode like a bottle of coke
I feel calmer now.
Anyway thanks for letting me vent a little bit before I explode like a bottle of coke
I feel calmer now.
Tetra Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
I'm not doing well.. I feel rather awful but at the same time don't have much motivation to stop drinking. It's probably just because I'm managing to get by. I even got an 85% on an exam today that I hadn't studied for much at all. My overall average stays exactly the same. Going in to the final in three weeks, I would have to intentionally leave half the exam blank, or just not show up for it, in order to be in danger of failing the course. Of course I don't want to have academic trouble, but I need something to scare me to say "I can't do this anymore".. Sigh..
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,759
Lava256 - good luck with the husband this weekend. I like the suggestion about a little note ahead of arrival time.
No chance i would handle all this back in my wining days . Now your in your winning days MidnightBlue
Congrats on six weeks CreativeThinker
LadyBlue has me thinking about my pool now. I have one of those 'Steel set' pools that has to be put up each summer and taken down each fall. I end up playing with it more than I play in it.
Hi BC, I hope things turn around and you start feeling better.
I was not supposed to go to work until today but got a panicked call yesterday, problems at work since Monday so I ended up going in. Two late nights working, no time for myself and I've yet to catch up on my sleep. At least I'm earning money toward another vacation. ;^>
G'night.
No chance i would handle all this back in my wining days . Now your in your winning days MidnightBlue
Congrats on six weeks CreativeThinker
LadyBlue has me thinking about my pool now. I have one of those 'Steel set' pools that has to be put up each summer and taken down each fall. I end up playing with it more than I play in it.
Hi BC, I hope things turn around and you start feeling better.
I was not supposed to go to work until today but got a panicked call yesterday, problems at work since Monday so I ended up going in. Two late nights working, no time for myself and I've yet to catch up on my sleep. At least I'm earning money toward another vacation. ;^>
G'night.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Morning all ,
Psyching myself up for a busy day . At tops it will only be 6 hours long so i will have to power through .
Mex-m8 is home so i hope my blood oxy monitor is delivered today so i can get on and give it a try.
right get up for coffee and cuddle mex-cat .
m
Psyching myself up for a busy day . At tops it will only be 6 hours long so i will have to power through .
Mex-m8 is home so i hope my blood oxy monitor is delivered today so i can get on and give it a try.
right get up for coffee and cuddle mex-cat .
m
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,198
Morning gang, yesterday really wore me out, I think it was the long drive on top of everything else. In the old days I would have drank last night and gone into work late and feeling terrible whereas this morning I am feeling much better. Bring on Friday.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Kampala, Uganda
Posts: 327
Originally Posted by mecanix 
Hey all ,
In for the weekend . seem to be down an stupidly expencive plug in apple dvd drive so am hunting round for it to do a job and i'm procrastinating by drinking coffee and shuffling stuff round from here to there whilst looking for it .
Lava ,
Would it be worth writing the hubby a letter or note to explain the drinking thing , just incase words fail you or the opportunity doesn't seem right ? just an idea ..
Criticism doesn't sound good, maybe with sober eyes and head in time you'll get a better handle on whats going on, as a drunk my boundaries for others behaviour didn't really exist .
Later , m
In for the weekend . seem to be down an stupidly expencive plug in apple dvd drive so am hunting round for it to do a job and i'm procrastinating by drinking coffee and shuffling stuff round from here to there whilst looking for it .
Lava ,
Would it be worth writing the hubby a letter or note to explain the drinking thing , just incase words fail you or the opportunity doesn't seem right ? just an idea ..
Criticism doesn't sound good, maybe with sober eyes and head in time you'll get a better handle on whats going on, as a drunk my boundaries for others behaviour didn't really exist .
Later , m
I know he'd like me to either drink less or quit. No problem there. The problem will be in me seeking outside help. That would be the problem for him. Because I am aware of that, I may feel the need to twist the story a little bit (lie by omission) and that's not good. So writing it down beforehand is a great idea. I'll do that, mecanix. Now, whether I give him the letter or not, is another issue. I'm so bad at telling people my feelings and opening up emotionally.
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