That time - and sinking feeling - again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, UK
Posts: 48
That time - and sinking feeling - again
62 days without a drink - it's been going well but the same old regrets hit me and I'm finding it tough today. Don't expect any replies I'm just typing this to try and get some of the pain out of my head
Been forced to look at my finances recently and it brings me face to face with all the money I have wasted on drink. About £ 5000 a year for the last ten years at a rough guess. My sons are drifting off to sleep in the next room - how can I sit here knowing what I could have done for them with that money?
What a waste
Been forced to look at my finances recently and it brings me face to face with all the money I have wasted on drink. About £ 5000 a year for the last ten years at a rough guess. My sons are drifting off to sleep in the next room - how can I sit here knowing what I could have done for them with that money?
What a waste
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I think this is the hardest part of recovery. We have to face the messes we've made and feel the pain and there is nothing we can do to change the past. Try to focus on what you can do now. You can be the best dad for your boys and that means a lot. Congratulations on 62 days sober.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Hi J
I get the regret but there's nothing you can do about yesterday...there's a lot you can do with today and tomorrow tho...how lucky are your boys to have a parent like you who turned their life around?
You sound pretty successful - I'm sure your sons will want for nothing...
but more than that you all have a chance now to build an awesome relationship based on love and free of the insanity of addiction
D
I get the regret but there's nothing you can do about yesterday...there's a lot you can do with today and tomorrow tho...how lucky are your boys to have a parent like you who turned their life around?
You sound pretty successful - I'm sure your sons will want for nothing...
but more than that you all have a chance now to build an awesome relationship based on love and free of the insanity of addiction
D
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
JUK ,
with hindsight i'd be a millionaire several times over by now .
Living in the past , looking too far into the future were both kinda toxic to my sobriety.
With sobriety in the last 6 years i was able to pay off my debts and have recently started to invest in my pension. At 42 i think i've missed the uk housing boat and will be a renter for ever ..
You've got sobriety today and you can change you and your families financial future from today. The tragedy would be to waste the next 5 years of £5000 .
The drinker you was a poor sick person , the new sober you is moving away from that every day growing and learning .
Stick with it , a sober loving parent is something money can't buy .
m
with hindsight i'd be a millionaire several times over by now .
Living in the past , looking too far into the future were both kinda toxic to my sobriety.
With sobriety in the last 6 years i was able to pay off my debts and have recently started to invest in my pension. At 42 i think i've missed the uk housing boat and will be a renter for ever ..
You've got sobriety today and you can change you and your families financial future from today. The tragedy would be to waste the next 5 years of £5000 .
The drinker you was a poor sick person , the new sober you is moving away from that every day growing and learning .
Stick with it , a sober loving parent is something money can't buy .
m
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Juk,
62 days is awesome. As the others said it's what you do now and going forward that's important. Just keep at it my friend.
I drank most of my two kids lives. They are young adults now and are quite proud of my sobriety. They hold no grudges.
62 days is awesome. As the others said it's what you do now and going forward that's important. Just keep at it my friend.
I drank most of my two kids lives. They are young adults now and are quite proud of my sobriety. They hold no grudges.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 397
You may have heard the joke (this is the short version)
Person 1: You know, with all that money you wasted on alcohol, you could have bought a Ferrari
Person 2: Do you drink?
Person 1: No
Person 2: Then where's your Ferrari?
No point dwelling on money spent. Congrats on your 62 days! Keep up the good work!
Person 1: You know, with all that money you wasted on alcohol, you could have bought a Ferrari
Person 2: Do you drink?
Person 1: No
Person 2: Then where's your Ferrari?
No point dwelling on money spent. Congrats on your 62 days! Keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by Autumnlover19 
You may have heard the joke (this is the short version)
Person 1: You know, with all that money you wasted on alcohol, you could have bought a Ferrari
Person 2: Do you drink?
Person 1: No
Person 2: Then where's your Ferrari?
No point dwelling on money spent. Congrats on your 62 days! Keep up the good work!
Person 1: You know, with all that money you wasted on alcohol, you could have bought a Ferrari
Person 2: Do you drink?
Person 1: No
Person 2: Then where's your Ferrari?
No point dwelling on money spent. Congrats on your 62 days! Keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
I know what you mean, JUK! My estimation is that I spent about $6500 per year on alcohol, and that's not even counting all the dumb stuff I bought and did while drunk. You can't change the past but the good news is that you can change the future...and you can start right now!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, UK
Posts: 48
Thanks to everyone for the replies. I really appreciate the support and I know we all go through the same thing in different ways, - just what gets me is the layer on layer of regret that it seems impossible to unpick. My wife used to go on at me about how she hated having to work part time when the children were younger so that's yet another reason I feel ashamed because I keep thinking - well if I hadn't wasted that money maybe she could have stayed at home etc etc - I'm a crap parent - etc etc - the voices never really stop
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, UK
Posts: 48
And added to that is the fact that about 8 years ago I got into a huge mess with unpaid tax and had to pay loads of fines to get out of it - probably another 10K wasted. The shame feels unbearable to be honest
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
I hope you'll come to terms with it and move on J.
To be honest my inner addict loved when I couldn't forgive myself for something or wouldn't let go of regrets or shame...in a perverse way it actually made drinking that little bit more likely. - alcohol was always my go to when there was nothing else I could do about something.
Whats done is done - don't miss today because you're stuck in yesterday.
D
To be honest my inner addict loved when I couldn't forgive myself for something or wouldn't let go of regrets or shame...in a perverse way it actually made drinking that little bit more likely. - alcohol was always my go to when there was nothing else I could do about something.
Whats done is done - don't miss today because you're stuck in yesterday.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I found that when I talked with someone about all the thoughts flying around my mind it made me feel better. I needed to work with a counselor for awhile. I also spent a lot of time on SR; this place always makes me feel connected and I'm able to get a sense of how other people deal with the sober life. Glad you are here
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