It's starting
 

I wake up saying never drink again, it's midday here and monkey brain has started coming up with reasons to drink tonight, glamourising it, dressing it up as an attractive proposition.

Must.not.drink.today

boy I know that game.

What finally helped me break that cycle was firmly CHOOSING sobriety that day. Not "must not drink", but instead "I WANT SOBRIETY".

Then getting into the doors of an AA meeting...... so I'd have in-person real human contact with understanding fellowship.

Reading that Big Book (especially those personal accounts in the back!) so I would learn a little more about myself each day.

And having a plan for specific sober-actions and activities I'd be doing so as not to stray into the dangerous territory of 'free time' and allowing myself the space to follow the auto-pilot to the bar.

Stay here...go to a meeting... call your dr or therapist...take a walk...read a book.

There are whole lot of choices you can make today to stay sober....don't listen to voice in your head lying to you about the only bad choice.

Use that time this evening to go and do something different instead - Go for a walk or a run. Buy yourself and nice soft drink and pour it over ice and enjoy that instead. Don't sit in front of the TV doing nothing otherwise you will relapse. Log onto this site when tempted because we will all distract you X

When the cravings get bad, sit down and watch "rain in my heart" (YouTube). Takes the glamour out of the idea of a drink!

Hey Stewy- Sorry you're struggling man. It's not a total loss, you're still posting...still trying. That's half the battle.

For me, I had to get out of my own head. Like many here have suggested, get busy ...do anything possible to move through 24 hrs.

Is detox and option?

getting the night sweats,
pooing myself,
peeing myself,
throwing up,
making poor choices eating junk food,
random purchases on eBay,
spending money i don't have on booze just to pee it away,
liver damage,
kidney damage,
brain damage,
balance poor,
the shakes,
drinking a depressant when i'm depressed,
saying hurtful things face to face in e-mail or text to people i love,
falling over,
poor coordination,
eyesight worsened,
being malnourished as alcohol upsets proper digestion,
high blood pressure hangovers risking stroke and instant death or permanent disability.
dog breath,
skipping washing or brushing my teeth,
having a big red veiny misshapen nose,
flakey skin,
drinking the second most common cause of cancer next to smoking,
living in a mindset of paucity and never having enough,

I'm sorry people making alcohol sold you the idea it was otherwise but the above is my experience .

life might be rubbish , you might have lost ya girlfriend or whatever but you don't need to make it worse by drinking that powerful nuro-toxin and getting in-toxic-cated .

Stay strong , m

Fixed your post.

How are you going Stewy?

D

I'm afraid I'm drunk again D. I'm so disgusted in myself. My daughter is not here at the weekend already telling myself that's a pass to drink.

I feel low, really low like I want to just not wake up . My mum is so worried. I'm drinking in my mum and dads house but their getting older and don't want to fight with me.

I miss my girlfriend I don't care if it was bad. She was in my life for 5 years and she at least tried to tolerate addiction side of things.

Why have I reintroduced this evil into my life?

I'm low

I'm sorry everyone I don't deserve support

Yes you do Stewy

Yes you do. That's what we're all here for.
Are you still drinking?

If you are, I would urge you to put down the drink, pour it out, get rid of the rest of the booze, get a big glass of water and go lay down in bed and try to get some rest.

Do you have any kind of face to face sober support that you can get? Sober buddy, sponsor, another AA member, a counselor or therapist, an understanding friend, etc.. Someone who could come be with you now or show up for you tomorrow.

It's a great step posting here. Time to double the effort if you want sobriety- because if you really want it you will go to any lengths.
It doesn't just fall in our laps, we have to plan and work to achieve and maintain it. Drinking is a choice, and so is getting and staying sober.

Tomorrow is a new day. A day for new beginnings and new choices. You're only stuck if you choose to be. My friend, you deserve to give better for yourself.
You know we're here for you. The one you're hurting the most and letting down the worst right now is yourself.
Be kind to yourself. It can get better.

I missed my physically abusive partner for a year because I never gave myself the chance to deal with the relationship and it's aftermath.

Everytime I felt pain or self pity I drank.

However drunk you might be, I'm sure you can see just how unhealthy that is.

Maybe you need to consider something more than just posting here Stewy - some counselling, AA or some other group - maybe even inpatient rehab could give you the jump start you need to get sober and stay that way?

D

Earlier when I wanted to drink I reminded myself that the only way I'm going to beat this addiction is to stop feeding it. Keep feeding it and I keep feeling like crap, worry those who care about me, put people at risk on the road, put myself one step closer to major health issues .. and just live a pathetic life in general.

Thinking about that made me not think so fondly about a drink.

Only on Day 2 .. but that worked for me today.

We've all been there and felt like that.

You do need support. Huge amounts of it from all of us.

You have mine 100%

Junk food had replaced booxze for 2.5 years. I've not progressed at all. I've gone back if anything. I've been exhibiting the same behaviours. I just want to not wake up. That'll be fine

Hey stewy ,
alcohol always made me feel desperately lonely and lost . Its part of it .

It's a depressant too and it can take time for the mood effects to lift , took about 6 months for me .

All of the misery alcohol causes can be ended by never drinking again .. you don't have to feel this bad again , you don't have to drink again .

It's a new day tomorrow , you get to try again :) yer it didn't work this time but when you learned to ride a bike you didn't try it once fall off and stay flat on your back ?

nothing to do tonight but keep safe, have some water to give your kidneys a bit of help .

Aint nothing special about me or lots of us here on SR , you can do it too .

goodnight , m

my thoughts are with you stewy.
you've done it before, you have it within you

if its possible try to get to a rehab to help with the initial separation and gets some days between you and the drink

You were sober for 2.5 years. That is a huge achievement. If you did it before you can do it again. I believe in you.