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Day 1 of a hundred tries....

Old 04-01-2017, 01:25 AM
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Day 1 of a hundred tries....

Hi. I'm really struggling with keeping my act together.

I had 23 days and then I wrecked it while on spring break vacation. I'm a teacher and suffer a lot of anxiety which is exacerbated by my profession.

I was doing so well, so on day 23 I thought I'd try the whole "moderation" thing. And guess what? It's impossible for me. It always will be, because I'm an alcoholic.

The addictive voice is so strong that it convinced me that I would feel even better if I drank. The crazy thing is, I was feeling fantastic on day 23.....better sleeping, no lower back pain, bloating was gone, I had a tiny bit more energy.....and I felt proud of myself! So why did I wreck it?

I am determined not to let this happen to me again. I need to come up when th a plan.

AA is not for me.....does anyone have other suggestions?
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Old 04-01-2017, 01:36 AM
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Yeah I have a suggestion.... I am in the same situation.... this time has to be the time, the difference.

Why don't we support one another?

I am going to make it a habit to post in this group - knowing that awesome people here have done it, are doing it is great.

For me I need people to reach out to just before I make that decision you drink.

Here to support you.
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Old 04-01-2017, 01:50 AM
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Originally Posted by MelbourneHelp View Post
Yeah I have a suggestion.... I am in the same situation.... this time has to be the time, the difference.

Why don't we support one another?

I am going to make it a habit to post in this group - knowing that awesome people here have done it, are doing it is great.

For me I need people to reach out to just before I make that decision you drink.

Here to support you.
Hi! Thank you for your reply.

I'm sorry that you are also struggling....it's hell, isn't it?

You have a great idea about posting in this forum BEFORE deciding to drink. I'm in!

Here's to us achieving success!
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Old 04-01-2017, 01:50 AM
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AA was NOT for me. Neither was SMART, the doctor, the psychologist, the counsellor or the recovery program I am in. BUT I do them, not because I like to- but I want never to drink again, heal and live in peace. Why not try something new? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Support to you.
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Old 04-01-2017, 01:52 AM
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Hi. I'm on day 2 and have many many attempts to get there. Keep posting. I'm with you.
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Old 04-01-2017, 02:19 AM
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day 4 count me in
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Old 04-01-2017, 02:23 AM
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This support is fantastic!

Thanks to everyone here for helping each other. This is great and we all obviously really need it.
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Old 04-01-2017, 02:23 AM
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I can absolutely relate. Although my withdrawals the second-to-last time I relapsed were horrible, I still went back to "moderation" once I physically felt better. Of course, moderation lasted perhaps three days.

If AA isn't for you, have you checked if there is a community support programme near you? Sometimes the outpatient drug and alcohol addiction facilities have group meetings a few times a week which are fantastic.
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Old 04-01-2017, 02:33 AM
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Welcome Normancita

D
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Old 04-01-2017, 03:36 AM
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SR is where I come for a sober perspective on all things & self improvement

Stick with us & really join in become a part of this recovery community
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Old 04-01-2017, 03:47 AM
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Norm et al,

In my experience. ...relapses happen when or bodies are free of alcohol, maybe 24 hours, but our brains need it.

The av will convince us we are great, we can do whatever, but really it is a strong crave.

The crave leads into the anxiety.

The insane anxiety. This is where you think you are going insane.

The only cure is booze...resets the cycle and fills us w self loathe etc...or...

Pushing through the internal hellish feelings and coming out the other side...

After a month you are very physically clean, but it takes a good year and beyond to deal w the brain damage and settle into sobriety.

We are not designed to drink, it is a learned behavior. The addiction and habit can be broken.

Thanks.
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Old 04-01-2017, 06:05 AM
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Hi Normancita!

Firstly, congrats on 23 days. That is great, and shows you can do it.

I've found reading and posting a lot at SR has helped me a great deal.

It is different for everyone probably depending on how much you drank and for how long etc., but relapsing at 3 weeks might be a sign you hadn't got past the initial stage of healing...

For years, I couldn't get past a few days or a week without a drink. It took me a long time to realize that this wasn't just weakness but a point at which my addiction would started exerting a lot of pressure as it was starting to feel under threat. Just try to recognize your AV as panicking and say "Good! I must be getting better!"

I'm now past ten weeks and am amazed at how the cravings and obsession with alcohol has dissipated (for now, at least).
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Old 04-01-2017, 06:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Normancita View Post
The crazy thing is, I was feeling fantastic on day 23.....better sleeping, no lower back pain, bloating was gone, I had a tiny bit more energy.....and I felt proud of myself! So why did I wreck it?
Hi Norm. I did exactly the same thing last year and asked myself the same question - why? I'm still not sure of all the reasons why, but there was a part of me that just didn't feel 'worthy' and that I didn't deserve to feel good or to change. So I sabotaged it.

I don't feel like that this time round. I am worth it - everybody is worth it!
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Old 04-01-2017, 08:16 AM
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Have you gone to meetings and decided it wasn't right for you, or just assuming so? Making that first step can be hard, but once you do so, can be the best decision you ever make.
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Old 04-02-2017, 09:34 PM
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Hi everyone.

Day 2 and I'm feeling okay. Just tired and a bit anxious. No major issues other than feeling a little sweaty yesterday, but that has passed.

I went out with some friends for shopping and coffee, then came home and worked on lesson plans.

I hope everyone else is doing alright and hanging in there. Here's to a sober start of a new week!
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