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-   -   Choosing Alcohol over a 3 year relationship (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/407090-choosing-alcohol-over-3-year-relationship.html)

soberandhonest 03-30-2017 05:07 PM

You are courageous, smart, and principled. Trust me, with those qualities, you'll meet someone better.

LadyBlue0527 03-30-2017 05:37 PM

You did the right and healthy thing to do. Don't look back. What more do you need to know than the fact that he went through what he did and now he wants to drink?

You don't need it, you have a great life ahead of you. I don't even have a crystal ball and I can tell you without one bit of doubt that you'd be back here down the road, more invested in the relationship, and in far worse shape.

Shame on his parents for agreeing with him.

Run fast and run far, don't ever look back. It will be one of the best choices you ever made. Take it from all of us.

duane1 03-30-2017 07:08 PM

I remember after quitting alcohol for a bit, using that same "trust me" line on my wife when I wanted to start drinking again. I even believed myself that I could "handle it". Well it wasn't more than a few months and my just drink at parties turned right back into full time drinking.
Stay away from this guy. He is an alcoholic and he has parents that let him get away with it. Reminds me exactly of my Uncle. Drove my grandparents into the grave with his drinking. Then drove himself into the grave a few years later with sclerosis and a caretaker girlfriend. Don't be the caretaker girlfriend. Find someone else. You saved yourself a lot of heartache I think.

Kcas 04-02-2017 01:49 PM


Originally Posted by duane1 (Post 6389235)
I remember after quitting alcohol for a bit, using that same "trust me" line on my wife when I wanted to start drinking again. I even believed myself that I could "handle it". Well it wasn't more than a few months and my just drink at parties turned right back into full time drinking.
Stay away from this guy. He is an alcoholic and he has parents that let him get away with it. Reminds me exactly of my Uncle. Drove my grandparents into the grave with his drinking. Then drove himself into the grave a few years later with sclerosis and a caretaker girlfriend. Don't be the caretaker girlfriend. Find someone else. You saved yourself a lot of heartache I think.

Thank you all, I truly appreciate all your responses. Both sides of my family have a horrible history with alcohol...and part of me worried I was not giving him a chance due to that. He said all the right things "make sure if I drink it is out of my system by the time I go to work" (he's on probation), "I won't drink when I'm emotional", "I want to enjoy beer and wine like food-in moderatuon", " I will probably never have hard liquor again , just beer and wine", and "I will always make sure I eat". He even pkayed Goodmans scene in the Gambler discussing alcohol talked about socially acceptable drinking (from his dui classes)and I almost feel he treated this as a one time mistake and that he gives the alcohol 0 % credit. If someone can go back to alcohil after nearly loosing their life with it involved...and has to create a rule book for when to drink....that worries me.It all sounded so reasonable but my gut said no-and hard as I try I feel a little guilty about that. But not guilty about beING given an all or nothing choice to alcohol.

Kcas 04-02-2017 02:17 PM


Originally Posted by Kcas (Post 6393574)
Thank you all, I truly appreciate all your responses. Both sides of my family have a horrible history with alcohol...and part of me worried I was not giving him a chance due to that. He said all the right things "make sure if I drink it is out of my system by the time I go to work" (he's on probation), "I won't drink when I'm emotional", "I want to enjoy beer and wine like food-in moderatuon", " I will probably never have hard liquor again , just beer and wine", and "I will always make sure I eat". He even pkayed Goodmans scene in the Gambler discussing alcohol talked about socially acceptable drinking (from his dui classes)and I almost feel he treated this as a one time mistake and that he gives the alcohol 0 % credit. If someone can go back to alcohil after nearly loosing their life with it involved...and has to create a rule book for when to drink....that worries me.It all sounded so reasonable but my gut said no-and hard as I try I feel a little guilty about that. But not guilty about beING given an all or nothing choice to alcohol.

He even said "maybe you need to be with some one who doesn't drink" after I gave him my boundary. So cold!


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