Being honest with people who ask "when are we next going on a night out?"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 42
Being honest with people who ask "when are we next going on a night out?"
Ok so as a young mum with a lot of young mum friends i often meet friends for drinks approx once ortwice a month. I havent confided in anyone that ive planned on quitting as i dont want to appear the party pooper, i dont want to be accused of being pregnant or boring or whatever. But i am not ready or not willing to disclose personal stuff just yet as ive only just admitted this to myself and only joined this lovely forum yesterday. I have declined a night out this coming saturday but i know one other friend wants a night out in april. Im thinking of just either taking the car or just telling her i wont be drinking as i want to lose a few pounds. What are everyones experiences or thoughts? Thanks in advance for responses
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 296
I'm struggling with this too. I've declined a few invitations lately. I know my girlfriends will think I'm pregnant ( I look it lately too lol). I'm going to go with the "health kick" excuse. I'm not ready to discuss my drinking problem with people.
Just tell people you don't feel like going, which is a true statement. Or perhaps suggest meeting at a coffee shop or somewhere else that alcohol is not the main attraction. Your true friends will support your decision to quit drinking when you do feel comfortable telling them.
Matt is right on too...most people don't care,, or even notice if someone is drinking or not. We ( alcohilcs ) are really the only one who obsess about it.
Matt is right on too...most people don't care,, or even notice if someone is drinking or not. We ( alcohilcs ) are really the only one who obsess about it.
I'm with SoberNunn. I've been telling friends that I'm detoxing for summer. Feel like that should give me a good amount of time to use as an excuse. I'm going to be very careful with who I eventually share my recovery with. Would hate to make any big declarations and then not be able to follow through. I figure I'll start sharing with close friends when I have more time under my belt.
When I tell people I've stopped drinking some of them assume I'm pregnant so I totally get how annoying that is! I just told everyone I'm trying to get healthy and loose weight and have only had really one friend who was kind of bummed . You might be suprised how many accept and follow suit as well!
The sooner you can be honest about it the sooner you'll actually get sober and start living a rich and cherished sober life.
Trying to hide it and invent cover stories or half truths and still participate in drink-oriented activities never really worked for me, and I've never seen it work sustainably for anyone else.
Trying to hide it and invent cover stories or half truths and still participate in drink-oriented activities never really worked for me, and I've never seen it work sustainably for anyone else.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
When you do finally tell them, it probably will not be a big thing.
When I came out as an addict to my friends, we started going out to coffee shops instead of bars, and there were a lot more non-alcoholic beverages at parties in their homes.
I finally had to tell them that I was okay if they drank in front of me or wanted to go to a bar. But I was really touched that they wanted to help me.
Drinking is not as big a deal for most people as it is for us.
When I came out as an addict to my friends, we started going out to coffee shops instead of bars, and there were a lot more non-alcoholic beverages at parties in their homes.
I finally had to tell them that I was okay if they drank in front of me or wanted to go to a bar. But I was really touched that they wanted to help me.
Drinking is not as big a deal for most people as it is for us.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)