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Can't publicly admit that I have a problem

Old 03-28-2017, 11:51 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Megan1190 View Post
Reflecting now, this is when I began drinking more to ease the anxiety rather than just to have a good time with friends.
Knowing that, learning how to deal with anxiety in a healthy manner will be crucial to your recovery...that is if you are considering a sober life.
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Old 03-28-2017, 01:38 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Megan
welcome aboard , glad you found this place and started posting, lots of support and experience around here, take full advantage, come back often, read, post ,ask and come back often

I used to pee in the hamper, but part of my thinking was like duh I'm drunk, so it really shouldn't 'count' besides it was in a very similar corner, I kinda laid off blame on the builder for the closet/bathroom layout, peeing in the ac vent ok that wasn't at all on the builder..but I was drunk so it didn't really count, my wife never understood that stance.

When I stumbled on SR I found out about RR/AVRT ( great threads on those ideas here on SR in the Secular Connections forum, I recommend checking it out) and those ideas really resonated with me.

A very possible story here is about a woman who started one day with a Bloody Mary, had water for lunch and put being drunk behind her, forever, that is the story I'm rooting for.

wish you well and hope to see you around
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Old 03-28-2017, 01:51 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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You have a lot of years ahead of you, hopefully this site will help you to stop drinking. I also travelled on business and it did seem to make me drink more. However, once I retired I found myself still drinking, big surprise! I would have been smart to give alcohol up once and for all at your age!
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Old 03-28-2017, 02:52 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Hi Megan, and welcome. I didn't want to admit it either, but the reality is you don't have to make a public announcement. Admitting it to yourself is enough, and then you can begin to change. See the lies for what they are. I loved an IPA on a nice day too or so I thought. Truth was, one led to another led to another led to fighting with my husband, terrible hangovers, wasted days, and even worse anxiety. Not worth it.
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Old 03-28-2017, 04:21 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Welcome Megan! You are not alone and you'll find so many supportive people here. I've only been sober a short time and some days I find myself missing my evening glasses of wine. However, overall, I feel so much better. Night and day difference from even two weeks ago. I also drank to take the edge off my anxiety. I really felt I needed it in social situations. And I too did some really embarrassing things in front of my husband. But I made the decision to make a change and make my life better. You can too! I made a plan and try to keep busy in evenings which is my "wine time." I stay closely connected to SR, even if it's just reading through posts. My anxiety is so much better. I have a very stressful job and I'm coping better now than I ever did drinking. You've got this!
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Old 03-28-2017, 04:48 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Welcome Megan. I used to go to the bar after work, stay all night and get drunk, and consider that 'having a beer with friends'. Who was I kidding? Only myself really.

I knew I had a problem at your age, but didn't care. Its great you're taking steps to address this now! Glad you're here.
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Old 03-28-2017, 06:56 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Some great advice here already Megan.

I didn't want to give up drinking...the thought of not drinking was scary as hell. But I kept drinking and got to the point it was drink again and die or quit.

I chose quit.

Every nad thought I'd had about a sober life turnd out not to be triue,. I've never been happier or loved life more than I do know.

It's worth some thought, yeah?

D
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Old 03-28-2017, 07:19 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I loved IPAs and the camaraderie I had while drinking too. But I couldn't have those without the drunk driving, blackouts, promiscuous behavior, crippling hangovers, and non-existent self esteem due to my terrible behavior. I hope you quit now, you aren't even 30 yet! You have so much wonderful life to live yet untainted by alcohol. You can have your self-worth back if you want it.
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Old 03-29-2017, 05:25 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I used to drink for pleasure/stress relief, too. I did it so much I damaged my amygdala complex and became alcohol dependent. There's no getting back to how things used to be.

Giving up alcohol seemed like a huge step at one time in my life. Now I see it as a small price to pay to get out of the prison I had made for myself.

You can do this.
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Old 03-29-2017, 06:23 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I thought I wasn't an alcoholic for a long time because I didn't drink every day and I hadn't gotten into any serious trouble. A little voice in my head was telling me I abused alcohol, and should probably think about quitting, but I didn't listen. I was only doing the same thing most of my friends did. We were having fun! I was like you - I could go days without drinking, but when I did, there was no off switch. But over time, the consequences started to pile up. I won't go into detail - I'll just say that it got really bad. By the time it got really bad, I knew I was an alcoholic. I could still go days without drinking, but when I did, all bets were off. My self-esteem had sunk to an all-time low. I hated myself and my life. When I started becoming suicidal, I knew something had to change. I put myself in outpatient treatment, started going to AA, and admitted my problem to family and friends. I've been sober since December 2014.

That long-winded story does have a point - If you are here, posting, and worried about your drinking, you have a drinking problem. You might not be ready to call yourself an alcoholic - and you don't have to. Just read some stories here to see what is probably in store for you if you continue down the road you are on. You don't have to hit a bottom like mine before you decide to quit. But you have to really want to. Once you admit to yourself, and ACCEPT the fact that you have a problem, you can begin the process of making a better life for yourself.
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