Marissa41

I feel like I am running around in circles.
I can't seem to go longer than a day sober.
I'm on hour 14 right now and I just feel like crying.
Also, feeling physically ill and the marital and financial stress is getting to me.
I'm so addicted to drinking!
Life is spiraling out of control. So depressed I just want to sleep and that's not solving any problems.
Drinking certainly isn't helping. Hormones are wacked too! Making me crazy. I keep telling myself there are so many people worse off than me and I need to quit feeling sorry for myself and suck it up!!
Thanks for letting me rant.
Withdrawal is starting and I'm starting to itch and I feel cold. I know I'm dehydrated. I'm praying I feel better tomorrow.

Ruby2

You know, there are many people worse off than you but that doesn't make what you're going through any less painful. It really stinks in the beginning. I've been in your shoes. Cry if you need to. Drink water to rehydrate. I found that ice cream helping with the cravings.

My life was so out of control in the end. Instead of facing the fact that drinking was responsible for 99% of the craziness my life had become, I hid in the bottle to avoid everything. I'd finally had enough.

You can do this. Hang in there. It really is one day at a time. Just get through today. Tomorrow is another day.

Anna

Stick with it, Marissa and it will get easier and you will get through it. You will be able to come up with new ways to deal with the stresses in your life.

Berrybean

Check your HALT triggers and if there are any that you know are rampant try to take steps to rectify that. So. HALT. Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired.

I think that getting through the first week is mostly about accepting that it will feel rubbish. It will feel bewildering. It will be scary and uncomfortable. It will mean feeling restless, irritable and discontent to varying degrees from slight discomfort to insanity-making.

BUT.... Here's the thing. It will pass. As long as you don't take that first drink. For this hour. This day. This week.

Just try to stick with it from one hour to the next, and try to get as much support as possible. Have you considered local meetings?

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

Marissa41

I know my husband will be mad when he gets home. Expecting me to cook but food just sounds horrible right now!
I know if I don't drink today I'll probably feel better tomorrow.
I think I have alot of anxiety right now because I know he is bringing beer home and my AV will tell me "just one will make it better" even though my logical voice is telling me "that's just stupid"

PhoenixJ

Marissa- I would strongly suggest you see a doctor or go to a hospital. Your w/d stuff could be unsafe. Also the crappy thinking may effect your ability to hydrate, eat, sleep.

Marissa41

Thanks.. But where I live you have to be near death to be seen in the emergency room and I have to go to the clinic for medical care. I have some anxiety meds to help keep me calm. I just took one.
Tonight I'm going to take a benedryl to sleep. Hopefully a good nights rest will help.

Dee74

Have you thought any more about some kind of meeting based recovery group - AA SMART recovery or whatever.

Sounds like you could use a little more real world support?

D