time4change79

I'll be surprised if I ever drink again simply because I don't want to drink anymore. The anxiety it brings on the next day is just too much at this point, and from what people are saying on this forum, the anxiety only gets worse.

I'm also a non-traditional student that's just a couple quarters from graduating with a marketing degree. I have an account manager job waiting for me upon graduation. That's not a job that I can show up hungover to. It will involve quite a bit of driving as well. There is nothing worse than being completely hungover and having to drive 3 hours first thing in the morning. I also, don't drink and drive EVER. I've woken up still drunk multiple times the last few years and either had my wife drive me to work, or hopped on my bike if the weather permits. I won't be able to do that very shortly.

My wife and I have also been talking about having a kid. I think this might be the ultimate sobriety tool. I have friends that drink around their young kids, and it's just cringe worthy. I could never do that.

I have a lot of reasons to finally quit and I have pretty strong will power. We'll just have to see, but I think this is it for me.

Gottalife

In your initial post you said you stop when you are wasted, or when your wife gets angry with you. Is her anger enough to make you stop mid-bender?

Kristoff

Biminiblue

'.......and nothing bad ever happens any more as a result of my drinking'

so so true.........I think I am at that stage where my 'true-self' recognises this but the addict part of me still craves it.....the turmoil that ensued following a binge became a part of the 'high', it gave the addict in me the attention I guess that it craved (and still does).

I am conscious of the need to gain true and lasting appreciation of the peacefulness (and yes, mundanity) of there being no Sunday/Monday/Tuesday emotional vortices to deal with following a blow-out.

Kristoff

very similar thing for me.....a good few drinks, a few lines and then the music went on and I was into every chord change, nuance and vocal inflection......it amazed me how dead a song was sober but when high, it was born. I used to play music a lot of the time, I rarely do now......and looking back on it, its because I was drinking and high a fair amount of the time.

I went to a Highly Suspect gig in Manchester, UK the other week....a real, lively, studenty scene and a band that had a punky edge to some of their stuff so it was boisterous....except for a few moments when there was a particularly interesting riff, hook or sound, I simply wasn't engaged.....and pretty sure I would have been if I was drinking/high....I am having to accept that some things that I used to get off on, accentuated by using, I simply won't now, so I am learning not to try and force it and to find replacements......I'm finding it challenging to find replacements

time4change79

Oh yeah. She can stop me pre-bender when I'm 3 beers in by simply being the voice of reason.

"Do you really need another one? What the heck are you thinking? We're going to the gym in the morning​, and you're going to be all hungover and not want to work out. Quit being such a dumbass." ..............,this as she takes my freshly cracked beer away.

Sorta pathetic, but hey, it's for my own good.

Fly N Buy

I noticed changes in loved ones mental health more so than mine. What's seems to be wrong with her? Why does she get angry all the time when I drink?? Maybe she needs help..........

I drank alcoholically for way too long. "Things" were good - job, money, house - stuff. At the time I couldn't really see these outward things starting to slip. It was becoming apparent others were concerned, however.

When I admitted I was an alcoholic it became unanimous. As I aged father time was catching up on how alcohol metabolized in my body and the quantity of what I drank. Yes, it is progressive.

time4change79

I find that physical activities are the one thing that aren't boring for me when I'm sober. I think this is because I never did them while drinking. Riding my mountain bike is a big one. I plan on really getting into it now that I'm going sober. My wife and I are also moving to coastal South Texas after I graduate where i'll be able to take surfing back up.

Fishing is going to be a hard one for me because that's something that I associate with drinking just like music. I'm thinking about taking taking up salt water fly fishing or Speer fishing when we get down there, which will be far more physically engaging activities.

JoeCree

you're in the right path my friend. I quit smoking 1 month before my first child was born. I quit drinking once he "started" questioning why Daddy was sleeping so much. I have 3 kids and a great wife -- i am now at peace by not drinking anymore as I have become a beacon of sobriety to my family. I can now tell my kids to never drink or smoke and not be hypocritical.
My job has become easier and there is less stress in my home life. I still suffer from anxiety but nowhere near as bad. Sure life is a bit more "boring", but once you accept this it free's your thoughts.
Youve come to the right place. Educate yourself, read and visit daily, youre making a wise decision at a huge point in your life. Smart man.

Gottalife

There is hope for you yet my friend. It appears you have not fully developed the phenomenon of craving. Nothing and no one could stop me mid bender unless they locked me up. Both girlfriend and employer tried. The drink or me... the drink or the job... I chose the drink every time, not because I wanted to but because, as the big book describes, I was drinking to overcome a craving beyond my power to control.

Now sounds like the best opportunity you will ever get to stop for good.

time4change79

I have a very close friend that is like that. There is a point that he gets to (about 5-6 beers) when there is simply is no reasoning with him. Once he gets to this point, he'll literally destroy a relationship, get himself fired, or wind up in jail for that next beer. He's the type that when he drinks it wires him. He'll stay up all night and drink until he's basically on auto-pilot.

While I definitely got that drinking gene from my dad who was an alcoholic, I also got that sleeping gene as well thank god. I can only get so wasted before I'll simply pass out. While I have a physical addiction to alcohol and I habitually drink, I rarely if ever get "blacked out **** your pants drunk." I can name every time I've ever actually drank an entire bottle of booze and lost all control on one hand. I'm more the come home every night and drink until I pass out type or until the old lady says something. While I do get drunk all the time, I rarely get completely wasted. The thing that has got me scared is that I'm experiencing DT's when I don't drink now and I've been drinking the morning after on my days off. My addiction to alcohol is much stronger now than it was 10 years ago. I feel like alcohol controls me more than it used to. I don't like the notion of having to do a drug. I should only do it when I want to, but that's not the case anymore. I've tried taking breaks, but the second I drink again, I'm right wear I left off.

Time to quit for good. My dad died of drinking (and pills) at 55. I don't want to follow in his footsteps, as he wasn't really a full on alcoholic until his late 30's either. The similarities between my dad's drinking habit and mine are scary. If I don't quit, I fear I'll end up a functioning alcoholic just like my dad turned into in his 40's. He would come home and drink half a bottle of whisky every night. He was slowly killing himself, but it wasn't until he started abusing pain pills for his arthritis that he took his liver out almost overnight. Without the pills, he would probably still be around. He would be unhealthy and probably divorced, but he would still be around I think.

MarkTwain

[QUOTE=biminiblue;6383137]There is an invisible line that gets crossed between drinker and alcoholic.

..../QUOTE]

Bingo.

It isn't a matter of addiction getting stronger. On a biological level, on a molecular level if you will, alcohol has overwhelmed your system and you've crossed the point of no return. The change cannot be reversed.

At that point, the only way out is to never drink again (moment by moment).

Gottalife

Your dad sounds like a man I met in AA. He was chairman of one of our biggest companies. Very high functioning as we would say today. He called himself a plateau drinker. Just nicely topped up all the time. He had booze stashed in all sorts of strategic places so he could maintain that condition. Eventually he lost control, and the issue had to be confronted. He died sober.

He was a really nice man. Treated me, a skid rower, with kindness and understanding. I always wanted to be the same type of drinker he was. But I never had any control.

JudicatorPanzer

Maybe. But the addiction gets worse the more you use for sure. Never better.