butter605fly

I finally kicked him out for drinking. I watched him detox many times and he walked away from a free inpatient rehab. I forced him to leave and I am a mess. I hate him when he drinks and we fight like crazy and life is peaceful when he's gone, but I miss him like crazy. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just let him go. I want to tell him he can come back as long as he doesn’t drink. I'm so scared of opening the door again to that same old life. He's very verbally abusive when he drinks and pleasant when he doesn't, He's just in a bad place and I'm not strong enough for his problems and everything he has put me through. He really is my best friend and I know I'm his but his drinking problem is just too much. I have no one to talk with about this. I feel so alone. I don't know how to get through this.

FreeOwl

you can do it... and you did the right thing. For him AND for you.

This is a good place for community and support.


There's a book called "Co-Dependent No More" by Melody Beattie that you may find helpful and informative.

Also - alanon meetings could be really helpful.... and AA's Big Book (which is available online) is a good source of education and insight to what you're dealing with.

least

You have every right to a stress-free life and peace of mind. I hope you keep your guard up and let him sink or swim on his own instead of letting him pull you down into his own private hell.

I'm glad you found us and joined. We also have a 'friends and family' forum on here for loved ones of an alcoholic. Alcoholism is called the 'family disease' cause it affects those who love the alcoholic.

I hope our support can help you cope. Have you considered AlAnon? That might be a great support for you.

Anna

I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself.

Forward12

You did the right thing kicking him out. It sounds like you've got some codependency issues, when mixed with an alcoholic makes the perfect storm of insanity.
I would not talk to him at all, and look into your own recovery through alanon, therapy, or other outlets.

MsCooterBrown

Being co-dependent is the same in my mind as being addicted to another person. There is something about the drama that unfolds. Fight. Make Up. Fight. Make Up. Drinking escalates the whole issue...I lived this fiasco. Believe me...give it a chance. Try it solo and work on yourself so you can find a better life...in turn attract better people.