Ugh! Facing another Saturday night without my crutch
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by myluckyday 
Ok so I caved in and went. I couldn't say no after money was spent on the tickets. Anyway, I ended up having a great time! I had two sodas and it didn't even bother me that others were drinking! I had terrible anxiety and cravings beforehand though. I was really surprised at myself and it felt so good coming home sober. I think I will stay away from these situations in the near future. Don't want to press my luck. Thank you all for your guidance! I don't know if I could do this without you all!
It's great coming home from those things sober, isn't it. Your ears are ringing, but you get back and it's just a standard night and the next day isn't ruined.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
AV is addict voice.
So, in the case of last night, your alcoholic voice was telling you that alcohol served the purpose of a crutch - that you NEEDed it, not just wanted it.
Our AVs are generally ready and waiting with some rationalisation for taking a drink. After over 3 years sober, mine piped up briefly this week after an interview with "after the day you've had, a drink would just help you unwind nicely". ("Ohhhh yes - and the rest!" I mentally replied. "Now shut up and stop being silly.") We can't shut that voice up, but we can make the decision to stop listening to it, just like we can choose not to take the advice of any damned idiot in our lives.
Glad your evening went okay.
Personally I found 'event' evenings out tolerable. It was the sitting around with other who were drinking and listening to them waffle on for hours that was (and is) most awful. While there is a band or whatever to focus on (or food - I like food ��) it's okay, as long as I can make a sharpish exit before other people become drunk drunk.
So, in the case of last night, your alcoholic voice was telling you that alcohol served the purpose of a crutch - that you NEEDed it, not just wanted it.
Our AVs are generally ready and waiting with some rationalisation for taking a drink. After over 3 years sober, mine piped up briefly this week after an interview with "after the day you've had, a drink would just help you unwind nicely". ("Ohhhh yes - and the rest!" I mentally replied. "Now shut up and stop being silly.") We can't shut that voice up, but we can make the decision to stop listening to it, just like we can choose not to take the advice of any damned idiot in our lives.
Glad your evening went okay.
Personally I found 'event' evenings out tolerable. It was the sitting around with other who were drinking and listening to them waffle on for hours that was (and is) most awful. While there is a band or whatever to focus on (or food - I like food ��) it's okay, as long as I can make a sharpish exit before other people become drunk drunk.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Here on SR in the Secular Connections forum are some really great threads about AVRT, Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.
In AVRT the Beast ( the desire for alcohol/intoxication) is seen as a maladaptive survival drive. Akin to hunger or thirst or even sexual drive, drives that function to reinforce behaviors. The drives themselves are impotent , they 'trigger' us to take action, but when isolated or stripped down the desire is just that a desire. The Beast uses the AV to speak, ie Beast = dog, AV= bark.
The Beast always wants ITs stuff, all it is is the insatiable urge for ITs stuff, and since IT can't control the whole 'self' IT hijacks portions of our brain/mind/rational self with thoughts of indulging that desire and doubt in our ability to remain resolved and committed to abstinence.
Alone in a quiet place say to yourself, "I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind" and then 'listen' . Any thought or feeling that that is ridiculous or irrational is the AV.
If you 'hear' the AV , recognize it for what it is the bark of dog , separate from it and dismiss it. Actually challenge IT , tell those thoughts all be themselves to move a finger, IT can't move or control Your body, unless You decide to .
The thoughts and feelings in the presence of the desire as uncomfortable as the seem are by themselves ultimately impotent, the have no real power to 'make' do anything,the power is an illusion, again ask IT to make you do a jumping jack, let alone even wiggle one finger.
The crutch thing in your title I pointed to , was an example of the AV not so subtlety hijacking your own vocabulary and trying to get you to see alcohol in a more positive light ( lie to you) for the sole purpose of breaking down your resolve and giving IT a chance, no matter how slim, to get you to decide to pour alcohol down your throat.
The AV is very crafty and persistent but when you recognize it , separate from it, and dismiss it , it proves itself to be as impotent or powerless as IT actually is. The more times you send the AV packing , the weaker it gets and the less frequently it pops up. It may never go away ,completely, but so what, right? It may be annoying and may threaten to break your resolve, but IT can't , YOU get to run the show.
I'm glad you 'heard' it last night and told IT to go pound sand, I bet you are too
In AVRT the Beast ( the desire for alcohol/intoxication) is seen as a maladaptive survival drive. Akin to hunger or thirst or even sexual drive, drives that function to reinforce behaviors. The drives themselves are impotent , they 'trigger' us to take action, but when isolated or stripped down the desire is just that a desire. The Beast uses the AV to speak, ie Beast = dog, AV= bark.
The Beast always wants ITs stuff, all it is is the insatiable urge for ITs stuff, and since IT can't control the whole 'self' IT hijacks portions of our brain/mind/rational self with thoughts of indulging that desire and doubt in our ability to remain resolved and committed to abstinence.
Alone in a quiet place say to yourself, "I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind" and then 'listen' . Any thought or feeling that that is ridiculous or irrational is the AV.
If you 'hear' the AV , recognize it for what it is the bark of dog , separate from it and dismiss it. Actually challenge IT , tell those thoughts all be themselves to move a finger, IT can't move or control Your body, unless You decide to .
The thoughts and feelings in the presence of the desire as uncomfortable as the seem are by themselves ultimately impotent, the have no real power to 'make' do anything,the power is an illusion, again ask IT to make you do a jumping jack, let alone even wiggle one finger.
The crutch thing in your title I pointed to , was an example of the AV not so subtlety hijacking your own vocabulary and trying to get you to see alcohol in a more positive light ( lie to you) for the sole purpose of breaking down your resolve and giving IT a chance, no matter how slim, to get you to decide to pour alcohol down your throat.
The AV is very crafty and persistent but when you recognize it , separate from it, and dismiss it , it proves itself to be as impotent or powerless as IT actually is. The more times you send the AV packing , the weaker it gets and the less frequently it pops up. It may never go away ,completely, but so what, right? It may be annoying and may threaten to break your resolve, but IT can't , YOU get to run the show.
I'm glad you 'heard' it last night and told IT to go pound sand, I bet you are too
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 178
Very good advice! Thank you and I will do that! The other day I took my daughter to see Beauty and the Beast and I was really enjoying the movie, when all of a sudden the thought came over me that I can't drink tonight. Why would that happen right in the middle of an enjoyable experience when I'm not even thinking about alcohol? I started to feel sad but then I pushed the thought out of my mind because it wasn't going to ruin my time with my daughter. That was my AV I guess.
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