So ashamed....
 

I need to stop drinking. I am so sick of myself. I drank so much last night and have the awful shame head on today. I told lies to friends about my ex last night to get attention I rang loads of people up and have been texting those people this morning making up more stories just to hide the fact that I was drinking (although am sure they know) Everyone is getting fed up with me-hate myself and I hate where the drink takes me.

Once I was able to get some time under my belt with taking no drink.....I began to appreciate those days more than the days I was drinking. I appreciated not having the shame and darkness of drinking experiences....they were horrible. Stick around here. lots of good people and good advice. Don't drink just for today.

It was similar types of mornings that led me to make a change to stop drinking. Living that type of life is laden in shame, guilt, anxiety, regrets...then the physical damage and strain. Wishing you strength to get to that point. It sounds like you are ready...I was feeling like you when I stopped. Glad I did, a clear mind gives perspective that is hard to find with a foggy drunk brain.

I've had so many similar mornings. It is a huge reason why I quit, and a huge deterrent of ever going back. The good news is, you never have to feel that way again!

Thank you for the replies its comforting to know there is hope for me. Just so tired of being a grown adult and behaving like a teenager. Feel like banging my head against a brick wall to rid my brain of the thinking I need alcohol to do life.

Get a sober plan together and then you can take a peek at it when you feel like drinking to remind yourself of what you don't want to be like.

Like write everything down that's horrible about drinking? Good idea. It's going to be a long list. I never ever want to feel how I feel right now again-hate myself so much

Yes it's called a Cost Vs. Benefit Analysis

Simply put what does drinking cost you on one side and put what does drinking benefit you on the other side. And then when you feel like drinking take a look at it. Another term used, is play the tape forward. We usually repeat the same drunken behavior so play that tape forward. If I drink then.....will happen.

I agree with Sunshine. Playing the tape forward has definitely helped me to stay sober.

Hello!

Glad You posted.

Do a search for "plan" And you will get all sorts of ideas. This has been an integral in helping me succeed. Don't give up, this is your life !

Support to you

Hi Amanda, Drinking turned me into a person I hated. It sounds like that is happening to you, too. I hope you decide to stop drinking and join us in recovery.

There is so many stories like yours here, within us, that pushed us here, too! You are not alone! Please feel free to reach out when you want another drink, it's helpful to read other peoples posts to have a good reminder to stay away. I am only 10 days in, it gets better each day. At first it's tough, but do anything you can to get you past the first couple of days to not drink. Once you feel you have achieved a couple days you start to see how much less pain, suffering and embarrassment you are experiencing. We are all here for you! Stay here with us!

The Ol' shame walk. Yes. I have been there more times than I would like. Its a horrid feeling. You are not alone here. Reaching out is a big step in the right direction. Lets make different decisions today and choose to be sober and present. Your heart and mind will Thank You.

Welcome to SR, Amanda; so very glad you found us.

Have a look around the site, giving special attention to the 'stickies' at the top of the Newcomers, Newcomers' Daily Support, and Alcoholism forums. There is a wealth of infomation and wisdom there.

Again, welcome.

Here are links to a couple of threads you may want to check-out:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-223-a.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-two.html

BTDT too many times to count. Gawd...hated the morning after, acute hangover, shame, practicing damage control to justify all the phone calls, IRL conversations and text from the night before.

You've come to the right place! There's a plethora of support, information and wonderful people here on SR. Don't drink today; Plan the Work, Work the Plan...and you're off to the beginning of a new life.

Welcome aboard!

Thankyou to you all. It's really helping my shame head reading your replies to me. I will have a look at the links. I need to do this as I have so much to lose if I don't. So fed up of being me

It gets better

I also had a lot to lose as well, and I have since got 5 months. My family is so proud, and it feels so good to feel that.