New to Sober recovery
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 469
New to Sober recovery
Hi there I'm Susie. I am currently on day 5 of no wine. Disappointed my daughter far too many times - the last time being Sunday 19th March. She has been over my ex-husbands ever since. Apart from going to work I have just curled up in bed watching tv as I have been suffering with anxiety/depression. Just can't get rid of a dull ache in my chest. I know my daughter still loves me and need to give her a bit of time to trust me again but patience is not my strong point.
I work shifts so can't drink every day anyway and on my days off she is normally with me and this is my time to relax (and drink wine).
Things have to change - I'm still thinking of that bottle of wine but I hope in time I can learn to spend my time living my life with no alcohol instead of just existing.
I work shifts so can't drink every day anyway and on my days off she is normally with me and this is my time to relax (and drink wine).
Things have to change - I'm still thinking of that bottle of wine but I hope in time I can learn to spend my time living my life with no alcohol instead of just existing.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
You will. There is a life after alcohol. In my case, a wonderful, fulfilling life free from the obsession to drink. But it takes time and it can be very uncomfortable in the beginning. Stay the course. Giving in to alcohol only sets you back and dumps loads of guilt and remorse on you.
Originally Posted by Susiegirl 
I hope in time I can learn to spend my time living my life with no alcohol instead of just existing.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Welcome SusieGirl-
Sorry about your daughter. Don't beat yourself up. The best thing you did was make a decision to change.
Like you, I loved my wine! Unfortunately, I didn't know when to stop and it lead me down a dark and dreary path. One without hope, filled with constant shame, feeling like hell every morning I got out of bed to face the day (if I actually made it out of bed).
You will find a lot of inspiration and support here. You've come to the right place! Keep posting!
Sorry about your daughter. Don't beat yourself up. The best thing you did was make a decision to change.
Like you, I loved my wine! Unfortunately, I didn't know when to stop and it lead me down a dark and dreary path. One without hope, filled with constant shame, feeling like hell every morning I got out of bed to face the day (if I actually made it out of bed).
You will find a lot of inspiration and support here. You've come to the right place! Keep posting!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 469
I know I won't drink tonight as I'm working until 3am - I will do this for myself and prove myself to my daughter. It may take time but I'll get there.
The next test for me will be Monday 28th march - my first day and evening off so will have to plan to do something not involving alcohol !!!
The next test for me will be Monday 28th march - my first day and evening off so will have to plan to do something not involving alcohol !!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Toronto
Posts: 35
Dearest Susiegirl,
You have just done the BEST thing you could possibly do for your daughter. She will now see that change IS possible, even in the most challenging circumstances. Just think, she will one day look at you and say " my mom is the bravest and strongest woman I ever knew" . Just hold on to that. Be proud. Hugs.
You have just done the BEST thing you could possibly do for your daughter. She will now see that change IS possible, even in the most challenging circumstances. Just think, she will one day look at you and say " my mom is the bravest and strongest woman I ever knew" . Just hold on to that. Be proud. Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Fairfield County, CT
Posts: 110
Welcome! I have 8 days now without wine and am also dealing with "mom guilt." Whenever I feel myself getting sad about all the times I've let my kids down, I try to remind myself that slowly, I will be the mom they deserve. Present with them in the moment and no more wastest time passing out and nursing hangovers. We'll get there! Meanwhile, I've been trying my hardest to fill those times when I typically drink with other activities. I'm finding that planning ahead works wonders. The cravings are still there but easier to deal with when I'm busy.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Cape Cod, Mass
Posts: 18
welcome Susie. your at the the right place . Folks here have been thru what you are going thru and can help. constant alcohol use as a "highly functioning " drinker definitely affected the relationship I had with my kids. However, once we make the decision to stop drinking , time and sobriety heals the relationships and develops them in ways you probably never imagine. Stay close and reach out to anyone here at any time. Welcome.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 469
Thank you for all your welcomes! Day 6 and working nights tonight so won't be drinking.
I keep eating rubbish though. Crisps and chocolate - is this normal? Apart from my wine I normally eat quite healthily.
I keep eating rubbish though. Crisps and chocolate - is this normal? Apart from my wine I normally eat quite healthily.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 425
Hi Susie - the eating thing is a big issue with us. Alcohol having so much sugar, sugar is addictive, so we tend to replace it with sweet foods. What works for me is fresh fruit, espesh oranges and grapes. Greek yogurt is another favorite.
Drinking took up such a big part of our lives, and without it, finding constructive, non-drinking activities to fill that time can be a challenge. I got back into drawing and reading, as well as hitting my treadmill. Exercise is a wonderful high, and a more real one.
Stay strong and stay connected.
Drinking took up such a big part of our lives, and without it, finding constructive, non-drinking activities to fill that time can be a challenge. I got back into drawing and reading, as well as hitting my treadmill. Exercise is a wonderful high, and a more real one.
Stay strong and stay connected.
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