Feeling Hopeless
 

Hi everyone. This website is fantastic - so much caring and genuine support and understanding.

I recently went to rehab and came out bound and determined to stop drinking and never have to be institutionalized again. Like every time I've made this commitment to myself, I really meant it. Well... 2 days ago I relapsed, hard. As usual one small drink became an entire bottle, then another because I started feeling withdrawal set in.

Physically and mentally I am drained. I don't know why I can't trust myself. I'm scared of going through withdrawal, as I have before and it landed me in the ER a few times. I don't want to go back there because I'm afraid they'll put me in the psych ward and won't let me leave.

I once got a withdrawal-induced panic attack several days after stopping, and it was truly horrific. I'm just scared and ashamed and wish I didn't have this baffling problem. I feel super shaky and kind of have the "brain fog" thing going on... I just hope it doesn't escalate further.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

Vigil- hi. Since you have just finished rehab, there must be a whole range of tools and strategies you talked about- learnt. What better time to review those things and put them into practice. Remember HALTS and the importance of informed decision making when level headed- not in an emotionally intense state. Daily support is so important too.
Keep posting, PJ

Hi and welcome VigilanceNow

if you feel unwell the safest thing is always to see a Dr.

I understand the fear but being involuntarily committed is pretty much Hollywood,, not reality.

Do seek help if you need it.

I also recommend you throw yourself into this community.

I didn't go to rehab but I understood the need for change, for commitment and for vigilance...I need to consciously maintain my recovery - it's not something I can 'fix' once and walk away from.

It will become second nature in time but for a while you really need to protect your recovery and your commitment to it.

being a regular here is a good start.

Any idea that a drink is in any way a good idea is a lie - and those moments are the times you need to reach out here and ask for help.

There's always someone around to help you through ;)

I'm glad you found us :)

D

Hi and welcome to you. I understand you very well. i went to rehab a year ago and did very well for a long while but have had a series of small relapses. I am currently trying to get myself out of one now and it is not fun. Like you I feel ashamed, scared and angry that I can't seem to get it right. I do know we have to keep trying though. I did reach out to a doctor and have an appointment this morning, someone is coming to my house. Do they have services like that where you are? Like you I was afraid to go to the ER so this solution works for me.

Thank you so much for your kind replies ��. I did learn strategies and learned a lot about addiction in general, which was great.. but it was hard for me as most of the other people were there for drugs other than alcohol. I worked hard to relate and not compare, but it wasn't easy. Then again nothing about this disease is easy.

I loved what you said about protecting my recovery... It's so true. I have to frame it that way otherwise i get complacent...

Perhaps get to some meetings- find a sponsor.

Hi VN.

I'm a big advocate of having a plan. They can start very simply: The next time I feel like drinking I will ________ instead.

You can fill in the blank with anything you want, and then you have a plan. You don't have to worry about the next time you feel like drinking (which will come) because you already know what you are going to do when it happens. You won't re-act to it. You have pro-actively made a plan.

I, too, made the commitment many times to never drink again only to find myself with a drink in my hands days or weeks later. I had several sessions with a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist who had some good insights for me. I found it very helpful. Maybe you could also look into that.

Best of Luck on Your Journey. :ring

I know the feeling about being afraid of being locked up in a psych ward, I've never gone to the hospital for help with my drinking but I think they have an inpatient detox so I don't think they just lock you up. I hope you keep fighting for sobriety, I find this website extremely helpful! There's a topic on here somewhere about making a plan for sobriety today. It looks like people share their ideas and plans to stay sober for the day. I hope you can see a doctor!!

Awesome suggestions :-) they made me do the plan thing in rehab and I thought it was so silly, but it actually was super helpful! Alcohol really is cunning and baffling, we have to stay creative to outsmart it :-)