grayghost1965

A night off, and things are going very well so far. First of all, thanks to whoever founded this site. Personally, this has been more helpful than any AA meeting I've ever been to.

Anyhow....like most of us, I do the Facebook thing, and while scrolling, liking, commenting, I wondered....if someone's in a fragile state of mind or sobriety, couldn't Facebook be pretty damaging ? My friends list is very limited...family and friends/co-workers, and there's usually little to no drama.

I got to thinking about a particular person who has 3,000 + friends, and is not the most stable person. No substance issues I'm aware of , but she does tend to feel sorry for herself, usually over an imagined slight on FACEBOOK of all places.

Honestly, since I've discovered SR, I spend more time here than on FB - I find it more uplifting and constructive towards my recovery. There are sad and tragic stories, to be sure, but that is to be expected and we are all here to help each other. FB is supposed to be "for fun," but sometimes I have to shake my head at the garbage.

Thoughts, opinions ?

Night all - I say a prayer for all of us everyday - you are all special and worthy.

WizingUp

I look at it all the time. If you think it will trigger you I wouldn't.

ScottFromWI

I deactivated my Facebook account about 5 years ago. It was one of the best decision I've made to be honest. I do understand that I can be used for legitimate things, but so much of it was just a waste of time looking back at it.

grayghost1965

I really don't feel like it will trigger me - I did for the first 48 hours deactivate mine and step away because I wanted to focus. It's just got a far less important place in my life now than this site.

D122y

Gray,

After about 2 years on this site, i believe I figured out who built it. Look at the advertisements.

This site was built by recovery centers. While this site saved my life, it also provides help to those that need more than this site via inpatient recovery, detox etc.

Regarding Facebook. I use FB like I use tv, video games, working out, etc. It is something to do. I don't go overboard on anything, I fiddle with everything.

But, while on FB, I tried to keep my recovery private to everyone. Unfortunately, my wife told everyone...my husband quit drinking...blah blah...

I told her not to, but she can't keep a secret to save her life.

This makes f2f visits awkward, but I am passionate about my sobriety.

Now educated about the total effects of booze, I hate the stuff. I don't need brain altering substances in my body any more.

I did before, because I was heavily physically addicted and uneducated about booze.

I am the opposite of those now. Now, I am only mentally addicted, but I have sober muscles that allow me to embrace sobriety. Fighting addiction is exhausted. Embracing sobriety is awesome.

Thanks.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I have an alternative profile on Facebook that is not my real name, and it has my real account blocked. I actually use it for support to maintain sobriety.

I post an update to my "Facebook friends" every day about the number of days I have sober among other things. It's actually been quite rewarding so far.

CreativeThinker

I did the same in 2013 and I don't miss it a bit.

soberlicious

I love FB. I limit my friends, and I use filters to control what kinds of posts come across my feed. I have a small business page as well as my personal page and I also belong to several special interest groups on FB. There I can learn things about whatever craft or hobby or interest I have with people all over the world. I can learn from them, and I can contribute my expertise as well.

For the most part, you can control the kind of experience you want to have on FB. Every now and again I come across things that irritate, annoy, or even sadden me, but I come across those things irl too. I don't have to be blown about by every wind.

Fly N Buy

Dee and a few others can share details regarding the origins of SR - it was not started by recovery centers. In fact the ads are pretty new. It was designed as a clearinghouse of direct links to many addiction issues.

But you are correct in terms of heartfelt intent. This info from early SR landing page back in 2000;

Recovery, whether it be from alcohol and drugs, eating or gambling, mental illness or grief, requires help. Help means resources. And It is access to the many different organizations that provide help that we hope to give you. Access and information. For free and for fun. Our goal is to have a total of 1000 unique and working sites, all with links of their own, all at your fingertips. We believe that with enough information you will be able to make decisions that could quite possibly change, if not save, your life. So start clicking friends, keep an open mind, and if we can help in any way please let us know. care to join us on our quest? Please drop us a line. Be well...and have a great 24.

https://web.archive.org/web/20010331...com/index.html

Prinnyruler

I will say that nobody has 3000 plus friends. It's simply not possible

August252015

I took a break from FB a couple years back and rejoined in 2015. That was before I quit drinking. Now that I am 13 mo and change sober, and have created (like someone else said) a positive presence and engagement on FB, I find it a frequent and good source for just that- positivity. I made a rule about friends- I only have ones I have other contact means for, care about keeping in touch with long distance, and truly KNOW (I was one of those with 1000s of friends before just because I "know" tons of people)....and now, some of those people are AA friends. We don't "discuss" that part out loud on FB but we know each other are there.

I think intent and effect are the two things to really consider regarding any form of social media. Do they educate, excite, aid you in good ways? Great. Do they drain you, make you feel "less than," upset you etc? Don't use them.

Just my $0.02.

Grymt

I'v never been on face book and I never will be. I have looked at some of it a couple of times and seen nothing of interest to me. I have a couple of real life friends and my children. That's good enough for me. I find real life engaging and fulfilling. I log on here and set the tab to auto load and check in a few times an hour if I'm around. Too busy with stuff.

Otherwise. I have no intention of having anything to do with what in the final analysis is social media spyware, no matter how engaging it might appear.

FBL

After years of resisting, I finally joined FB last fall. It's whatever you make of it. I've found it fun and have re-connected with lots of old friends and relatives. I've also joined a closed recovery group and it's been a positive experience so far.

I don't take FB as seriously as some do and stay away from any political and/or religious discussions.

grayghost1965

Not true friends, no, but I'm given to understand that FB allows someone to have up to 5000 "friends" ! LOL

soberlicious

LOL agreed. The word "friend" has taken on a new meaning in the age of social media. I hear people say, "Well, my friend so-in-so said..." - mind you the person they reference is someone they've never met in real life. I do have some FB friends I've never met, but I always differentiate between my "friends" and my "FB friends" because the latter doesn't fit the definition of friend to me.

thomas11

I think its wise to avoid anything that might annoy or trigger us. I don't spend too much time on FB, but seeing people doing stupid things on it doesn't bother me.

grayghost1965

Exactly - I have a couple of good connections, people I've never met, but we have a good bit in common and enjoy chatting occasionally. Are they a friend in the true sense ? No....but if we were to actually meet, I could see it. For now, FB is mostly just entertainment for me. I hide and unfollow a lot, especially where politics and religion are concerned.

soberlicious

Yes, this is true. I have met people irl that I only initially knew from FB. In that case, where I previously called them my "FB friend", I would switch that to "friend".