Venecia

A friend in recovery recently shared this blogpost. I think the author has a fresh way of looking at drinking and some of the absurd notions about the 'normalcy' of it that have for too long gone unchallenged.

I hope others find this an encouraging reinforcement about choosing a life without alcohol.

I Don't Drink Because It Doesn't Make Me Feel Good

fini

the title implies that feeling good or not feeling good is the determining factor....a misperception in itself for many, and a common obstacle in mindset.

MarkTwain

I don't get what she's talking about, and I don't think I want to get it. It sounds like the kind of convoluted thinking that needs a drink to settle it down. Just my read on it.

Maudcat

Hi, Venecia. Thanks for posting. I found the article interesting and refreshing. My take away is that we should put away the feelings of shame that we have about our addictions.
I can relate because I was hugely ashamed that my drinking had gotten so out of control.
I felt like a big, fat failure and that I had let the people I loved down.
Thankfully, I don't feel that way anymore. I am strong and healthy.
Well, I could lose a few pounds. But other than that....
Peace.

oakleaf82

I loved the article. I don't think there is such a thing as normal drinking. It is pretty messed up that alcohol is the only drug that, once you quit you get stigmatized or eyed with suspicion. I think a lot less people would drink if it were "normal" to abstain.

I knew it was causing me problems when I was 22-23 years old. I started seriously thinking about quitting 7 years ago. The social aspect and fear of telling people I quit and explaining why kept me going, kept me trying to control it and be "normal".

The fact that I didn't like how it was making me feel. Is true. And it enough. But unfortunately society demands some grand explanation of why you quit. No one would make you explain why you quit smoking, or heroin! It's madness.

CreativeThinker

I liked the article too. For me, I saw a whole new way of looking at my addiction. "alcoholic" vs "taking control of my life; living a healthy life; choosing to be clear..."

jessicamae

I thought it was OK. Here are a few things that bothered me or maybe I should say that I disagree with: "alcohol is linked to Alzheimer’s and many other autoimmune diseases. It’s loaded with sugar and chemicals that our bodies were not made to process at the levels we have been consuming them. But I digress."

My father died of alcohol induced Alzheimer’s at age 64, it is true.

Also (in my opinion) My addiction is a disease. I have an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind. I have to treat this like a disease (for me) or I will die. To drink or to drug is to die---spiritually or physically.

Some of the post was OK though-- I mean I do this for my health and for myself.

But most of all I do it by the BB and by AA meetings and the promises come true in my life.

I absolutely treat this like a disease

Thanks for the post thought, it is good to read things that I don't always 100% agree with

LadyBlue0527

Did we all read the same article?

First, Venecia, thank you for posting it.

I found it very empowering. In a world of friends who think that choosing NOT to spend the weekend riddled with alcohol is insane it's refreshing to think that there's an evolution going on.

More people are coming to realize that the effects of alcohol just aren't worth it and that there's no stigma necessary to make that decision.

My husband quit drinking on May 10th, 2014. Not because he had to but because he wanted to. In fact, he had a memory come up on Facebook today from five years ago stating he was headed to his drinking buds to throw down a few cold ones. His reflection was that he made the decision to quit, never looked back, and never regretted it. Not worth feeling like crap the next day.

I also believe that there are far more of our acquaintances that have an issue with alcohol than we think. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it, that's their problem not mine.

I like this article because it feeds into the decision to abstain not necessarily because of rock bottom but as a healthy decision.

tomsteve

one thing I disagree with:
"The stigma that has been created around alcoholism and addiction must be met with opposition."

personally I really don't care what anyone things about alcoholism- just as I don't care if this woman doesn't think alcoholism is a disease.
its their choice and they are free to think what they want just as I am.
if anyone has a problem with me being an alcoholic and chosing sobriety, then that's their problem, not mine.

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed,
It is because I find some person, place, thing, situation --
Some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me,
And I can find no serenity until I accept
That person, place, thing, or situation
As being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
Unless I accept life completely on life's terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much
On what needs to be changed in the world
As on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

and I accept this woman has a different opinion than me

oakleaf82

The paragraph about whether or not it's a disease I can see as controversial.... BUT I don't think that's the point. I love the message that you don't HAVE to have the disease or be an alcoholic to quit drinking. That's a problem with our society. Why would you quit if you didn't have the disease? Sobriety should not be viewed as some sorry club for those souls who were in the gutter with a paper bag, but should be for everyone on all levels of the drinking spectrum who choose a better life. If you follow the Hip Sobriety blog, she writes an entry called Rebranding Addiction that follows the same theme.

PurpleCat

Loved it. Thanks for posting this.

Venecia

Appreciate the feedback.

Some messages resonate more with some than with others. What made me grateful that a friend shared this one was that I've often attributed my own decision to get sober to my desire for self-respect. And that's what I took away from the passage.

I hope that others can find similar reinforcement, either from this or the many other items shared on SR. And the wisdom of SR itself.

Wholesome

I think it's a great article! I would way rather see sobriety as a choice moving towards health, vitality and wellness as opposed to being defective, broken or diseased.

Wholesome

And when/ if people ask me why I'm not drinking my answer is going to be, I'm don't drink because it doesn't make me feel good! That's a fabulous response because it is absolutely true.

VigilanceNow

I have the same problem Oakleaf - it's still hard for me to turn down a drink. When I first meet someone, the last thing I want them to think is that I'm an alcoholic. I don't want to contribute to the stigma, but that look on people's faces when I say I don't drink anymore... I hate it. I know people are just baffled that I don't want to black out anymore. And it's hard, because a part of me does still want to be able to have a few drinks just socially...

Maudcat

And with respect to all, I think there can be stigma attached to admitting one's dependencies. Personally, I have no problem stating that I no longer drink because I had a problem with overdrinking.
But, I'm no kid. I'm a granny. When I tell someone that I had a problem with alcohol, they are, like,"What? You? No!"
I don't know that I would get that reaction if I were younger.
And I would for definite sure NEVER tell someone at work (when I worked) that I had a prob with alcohol. My organization was definitely ageist. Telling them something like that would have been the first step toward a boot out the door.
Peace.