This has to be my final day 1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 831
This has to be my final day 1
Back again on day 1
I can't keep doing this. Am losing my family, kids have had enough husband says he thinks our marriage is over, beyond repair.
Why do I keep hitting the wine knowing I'm losing everything?
We are getting together tonight to voice our feelings etc on our "fallen apart family"
I am the problem and they all know that.
I need to be honest with them about my drinking and am going to ask for support but tbh think it's too late for that now.
I watched the documentary last night on YouTube, I am going to do a daily journal, post here more, get some reading material and be more open and honest about this addiction.
I can't keep doing this. Am losing my family, kids have had enough husband says he thinks our marriage is over, beyond repair.
Why do I keep hitting the wine knowing I'm losing everything?
We are getting together tonight to voice our feelings etc on our "fallen apart family"
I am the problem and they all know that.
I need to be honest with them about my drinking and am going to ask for support but tbh think it's too late for that now.
I watched the documentary last night on YouTube, I am going to do a daily journal, post here more, get some reading material and be more open and honest about this addiction.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,388
You can make this your last day one Pinky.
Journalling and posting here daily is good but what about considering going beyond that?
Leave no stone unturned, no option too hard - AA SMART, rehab, AVRT. counseling - whatever...do it
Put the effort in and you'll change things around
D
Journalling and posting here daily is good but what about considering going beyond that?
Leave no stone unturned, no option too hard - AA SMART, rehab, AVRT. counseling - whatever...do it
Put the effort in and you'll change things around
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,441
I don't think it's fair or helpful for you to take the blame for the problems of your family, or to place blame at all.
Just keep trying! :-) it can get better. Focus on getting sober, things you can do. Journaling is a good start. Support from family is hard to define especially if things are rocky. In the end we are all fighting this fight on our own. Family life can get better after we get better
Just keep trying! :-) it can get better. Focus on getting sober, things you can do. Journaling is a good start. Support from family is hard to define especially if things are rocky. In the end we are all fighting this fight on our own. Family life can get better after we get better
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,098
Its never to late Pinky, as hard as it is, own it, face it and find the strength. The past is the past, today and your resolve to stop drinking is what matters. From one wino to another, post here often and I wrote in a Journal also, there is something about pouring out your feelings and thoughts that help you to find answers and clarity. You can do this!!
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totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
You know, it kind of sucks for a lot of folks that this addiction does not get more attention. It is the "silent" epidemic. A lot of it goes on behind closed doors, but does more damage than any other in society by far. It is what it is, though, an addiction. If you have it fully internalized that it is a serious addiction, you can't control the use in any way shape or form, then it makes no rational sense to ingest it. The brain will try and tell you otherwise, but if you have fully internalized the reality of it, then you are half way there. The other half is just finding productive ways to fill your life. That is just my base-line recovery process myself. I guarantee if drinking offered me something, I would still be doing it. I haven't had an urge much at all in a year or so. Be honest with your family. Lay it all on the table if you are sincere. Though you can never be sure about the future, you can reach deep down right now and find a plan and honestly discuss it. Best to you.
Last edited by totfit; 03-23-2017 at 05:54 AM. Reason: grammer, puncutation
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Pinky1 
I need to be honest with them about my drinking and am going to ask for support but tbh think it's too late for that now.
I watched the documentary last night on YouTube, I am going to do a daily journal, post here more, get some reading material and be more open and honest about this addiction.
I watched the documentary last night on YouTube, I am going to do a daily journal, post here more, get some reading material and be more open and honest about this addiction.
im very glad youre going to get out of denial about the problem with alcohol your family already knows about.
im noit sure what kind of expectations you would have for support from your family, but the only support they could really give is hope- hope youre going to do whatever is necessary to stop drinking- even if that means rehab, AA, smart recovery, RR or whatever program is available.
you can be open and honest about the addiction with your family, but if its anything like mine, they wont give a crap. my family had heard enough over the years and didn't believe a dam thing I said for a very long time.
I had to show how serious I was with my actions, not my words.
HOWEVER
the most important person I had to show that for was myself.
through action and T.I.M.E. my family has welcomed me back and trusts me again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 831
Thank you all so much for your replies.
Tonight went so so. My eldest daughter tbh is really concerned about me and wants to help.
Kids asked if they thought I drank too much. I said yes. Then they said do you think you have a drink problem mum? I said yes I do.
I did dry January and went almost the month and told them just how hard it was for me to do that and didn't think they realised it. My eldest said yes mum it must have been so hard with you having a drink problem.
Husband not happy about anything. Said to me he enjoys a glass of wine at the weekend and why should he stop because of me. Said I should just have a glass too and stop. Basically told me to sort myself out or that's it 😔
Tonight went so so. My eldest daughter tbh is really concerned about me and wants to help.
Kids asked if they thought I drank too much. I said yes. Then they said do you think you have a drink problem mum? I said yes I do.
I did dry January and went almost the month and told them just how hard it was for me to do that and didn't think they realised it. My eldest said yes mum it must have been so hard with you having a drink problem.
Husband not happy about anything. Said to me he enjoys a glass of wine at the weekend and why should he stop because of me. Said I should just have a glass too and stop. Basically told me to sort myself out or that's it 😔
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 279
Originally Posted by Pinky1
Thank you all so much for your replies.
Tonight went so so. My eldest daughter tbh is really concerned about me and wants to help.
Kids asked if they thought I drank too much. I said yes. Then they said do you think you have a drink problem mum? I said yes I do.
I did dry January and went almost the month and told them just how hard it was for me to do that and didn't think they realised it. My eldest said yes mum it must have been so hard with you having a drink problem.
Husband not happy about anything. Said to me he enjoys a glass of wine at the weekend and why should he stop because of me. Said I should just have a glass too and stop. Basically told me to sort myself out or that's it 😔
Tonight went so so. My eldest daughter tbh is really concerned about me and wants to help.
Kids asked if they thought I drank too much. I said yes. Then they said do you think you have a drink problem mum? I said yes I do.
I did dry January and went almost the month and told them just how hard it was for me to do that and didn't think they realised it. My eldest said yes mum it must have been so hard with you having a drink problem.
Husband not happy about anything. Said to me he enjoys a glass of wine at the weekend and why should he stop because of me. Said I should just have a glass too and stop. Basically told me to sort myself out or that's it 😔
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Pinky,
it IS you who has to sort yourself out....meaning it is your responsibility, but you most cetainly need not do it alone.
you may need to do more than increase posting and reading...getting connected with real-life alcoholics was one of the very helpful things for me.
it is not necessary for your family to understand , and it would be easy to get sidetracked into focusing on that, when really your energy needs to go into getting sorted about drinking.
it IS you who has to sort yourself out....meaning it is your responsibility, but you most cetainly need not do it alone.
you may need to do more than increase posting and reading...getting connected with real-life alcoholics was one of the very helpful things for me.
it is not necessary for your family to understand , and it would be easy to get sidetracked into focusing on that, when really your energy needs to go into getting sorted about drinking.
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