Feeling humble but emotions are flowing today
 

Hi all,

I thought I'd check in today - it definitely helps to write about what's happening. I'm a journal writer and have been for some time, so I'm also making that a priority every day right now and yeah, definitely needing it.

A couple of things have occurred over the last 24 hours.
1) Last night I was writing in my journal and I congratulated myself on making it through 6 days sober and a very smooth 6 days at that. Then I later realised it was actually day 7 and I'd made it an entire week and I didn't even realise ha!!! That's never happened before in my previous attempts to quit and I think it made me realise that this time does feel very different. There is less angst around it and I feel calm, if not relieved to have made the decision to try again which can only be good. I've actually been doing a lot of work on myself whilst trying to start my own business and it is through that work that I have finally realised I cannot create the life I want and drink. It's just not gonna work. So I'm done and it hasn't come from a **** place or a rock bottom, but more of a high bottom I suppose. I just know it's what I need to do and yep, I'm committed.

2) This morning on the way to work I was listening to a recovery podcast (my new favourite thing to do!) and the podcaster was talking about a very personal issue for her that she has dealt with on her sober journey (dealing with the death of her father) and she said something that made my cry. She said: "I knew that I would be OK without it." I burst into tears as I realised that yes, I have this fear that I am not going to be ok and that's what I'm trying to numb or run away from with alcohol.

So yeah, feeling heavy today but I'm prepared for this and I have tools to deal with it and I WILL BE OK!

Thanks xx:thanks

congrats on 7 days, kellyrally!

I remind myself daily that I do believe that I am okay and that I am going to be okay.

I am looking forward to your updates :grouphug:

Congratulations on your first week sober!

I think it's common to feel we won't be able to manage to get through life without alcohol. I know I was sure I would not be able to do it. But, that's what the disease wants us to believe. And, it's not true. If you take a look around here you will find lots of us who are getting through the days, weeks, months and years and doing very well. :)

Is that "Unpickled" kelly?. I follow her too. I like the blog and The Bubble Hour. I also listen to a recovery podcast, Since Right Now, hosted by 3 men who have a lot of years of sobriety.

Congrats on 7 days! I listen to a bunch of podcasts too: Afterpartypod, Since Right Now, Home Podcast, are all good recovery podcasts.

Ggod for you kr

I have bookmarked the Unpickled blog and intend to listen to her podcast too. The recovery series I have been listening to is by Andrea Owen from the Your Kickass Life Podcast and she had the unpickled chick on in the series also. Your Kick-Ass Life Podcast: Recovery Series with Andrea Owen

I have also been listening to Home podcast which I am really enjoying :)

yes! really enjoying Home right now :) will jot the others down too :tyou

Thanks for the podcast recommendations. Always looking for good, new podcasts. For fun, I listen to Stuff You Should Know. It's not a recovery podcast, but it's interesting. They pick odd subjects like What Is It With Quinoa? and Why Famines Happen and research the heck out of them. Always informative.

congrats on your week Kelly :)

I think most of us have the fear that we won't be able to handle reality...have no fear though - you're more capable than you know :)

D

Congrats on the first of many sober weeks! :) Keep going, it gets better. :hug: