Chuck39

Today I had a tricky hour. I got myself all excited over a house I found online that I could totally foresee myself purchasing. That was the extent of the trigger and my mind went straight to figuring out what colors I would paint it and what furniture I'd buy and all I wanted was to get some alcohol and "celebrate" but literally there was nothing to celebrate. It's not like I had just gone through a months long buying process and was handed the keys. I just looked at the pictures and thought, yes, that should be mine and I must drink. I was so angry when I realized I couldn't drink and then more angry at myself for being so naive and silly. It helped to do some breathing exercises and I tried to play the tape forward but that strategy wasn't working today. It was a get through the next 10 minutes kind of afternoon. Settled in for the night now and did not drink and realize the house was just a lazy excuse to try and tell myself it'd be OK to imbibe. And it's not. Chuck 1, AV 0.

Dee74

It will get easier Chuck. Drinking won't always be the default go to setting

D

Maudcat

That was good work, Chuck, deep breathing helps. Hang in there.

PhoenixJ

I have an I- house in my brain. I painted it into art. Helps me plan a dream, set goals and calm down.

Mattq2

Like Dee says it gets easier. Try to focus on the improvements in your life no matter how small.

Little by little drinking becomes a distant memory

Hevyn

Chuck - I remember having that reaction quite a bit in the early days. I didn't think I'd ever stop thinking of it as a way to cope or celebrate. One day I realized it hadn't even crossed my mind for a very long time. That day will come. You are neither naive or silly - you're newly sober and learning to live in a different way. Proud of you.

Anna

Chuck, you did great getting through that.

Wholesome

That AV is a trickster! Good for you for seeing it for what it was.

libraloo

Keep up the good work.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” A.A.Milne

RetiredGuy

Good job, Chuck!

Barracuda7

I have a relaxation strategy that visualizes a special house that I've designed. It's in the woods, a kind of cave underground house. It's fun to go there thru the secluded path, to the rustic entrance , to a vaulted room with a warm fireplace, a snuggly sofa with cushions and warm coverlets!

It sounds like you are a creative thinker. You might enjoy this relaxation technique.

Chuck39

Thanks friends! I only spent half my work day ogling the pictures today but did not have the same reaction as yesterday, there wasn't this immediate urge to get drunk. So that's good. I made a note of my behavior for any future similar reactions and how to manage it better.