joey112

You'll be ok lilypad, you'll get through it. Keep your eye on the goal and put one foot in front of the other, and before you know it, you'll have reached it.

Steely

For what it's worth, and from your description Lily I think you need detox/rehab. What are your parents doing?

jlssamsara

What's wrong u ask?... it's generally the people who the drugs turn on have other things they never dealt with... mine was alcohol... and I hate to drink... I always have... I did other stuff... never got hooked... watched my buddy do massive amounts of blow for years... never got hooked... now is in a sober living house cause heroin got him... truth is... give urself a chance if u seek professional help or not... don't use... just for one day at a time... and every time ur mind fills up with the craziness or sickness or often paranoia .. tell it to shut the hell up ur not using no matter what... just for now.

axeman5971

I don't know about cocaine personally but I know it really messes with your brain chemistry. Detox is probably the way to go.

I would swallow your pride and not soften your story to healthcare professionals. You're not doing anyone any favors there. I recently got bloodwork and have elevated liver functions due to my drinking. If I lied or said I was fine and skipped the test, I am still sick. Not knowing wouldn't make my liver healthier. Now I have a reason to keep trying, even though I have relapsed here and there, I am starting to see signs of hope and find resources on this site that are helping me commit to work on my recovery.

You can do it! There are a lot of believers in you here. Just be honest, listen, and remind yourself you are worth it.

lilypad90

To be totally honest I don't know how to deal with those things...I am not really sure what they even are...

I am 26 years old and have always picked up something in an attempt to control and feel anything other then what I was...I started at 13 and it's all I know..I can't remember the last time I went more then a week without something in me...

I tried counselling a few years ago when I got clean the first time from methadone but couldn't find a way inside to tell them the truth and be honest ....I've lived my life on drugs and I'm scared I'll be put in a psychiatric hospital..

Is there anyone here who has gone through this and wouldn't mind sharing how they did it?

Thanks..

lilypad90

As for my parents...I think they are in denial..they aren't stupid..

I finally fell asleep yesterday around 4am and didn't wake up until 5 this afternoon. I woke up to my dad banging on the door, asking if I was alive..

He's been sober 15 years...and what broke my heart the most is hearing him say he thought about picking up a drink..

Steely

I think most of us here used alcohol or other drugs to prevent us from feeling Lily. For me the drinking became more painful than the painful feelings I was trying to suppress, so decided to change. I was worth it, I believed.

Went to AA to begin, went to detox/rehab, went to counselling, and now just use the supportive community here to help me maintain my sobriety. I do see a therapist once a month because there are many things, not just the alcohol that I need to mend.

I still think detox/rehab is a good idea if you are trapped in your parent's basement unable to stop.

I can only attest to how much better it feels to be sober Lily. I am starting to feel better about myself in all ways. Still scared and stuff, but free from the chains of addiction, but always mindful of its pervasive nature.

MythOfSisyphus

I hope you're well, lilypad! I too am glad you found SR. You are right- there absolutely is hope!

PhoenixJ

Hope you are ok lp

Steely

I forgot to say Lily, that maybe you could suggest to your father that he go to a parent's support group, or other support if he's talking about picking up. Maybe it would get you talking.