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Enough became enough, and my last drink was on Saturday. I had drank steadily, heavily and daily for the last 7+ years.
I have been fortunate and blessed to have remained steadily employed in a job I enjoy a great deal, and haven't lost much exterior-wise.
Worse, I gravely endangered my marriage and my soul. Pride had compelled me to not put the bottle down, insisting to myself that to do so would be to admit I had gone too far. I finally did something that was "over the line," while drunk, and my wife found out. After the screaming, sobbing and silence ended, we were and are able to talk about things.
The first 24 hours was the hardest physically. I work night shift and sleep Sunday was sporadic and not at all restful. There were the shakes, cold chills and of course the mental torment of how I'd made my wife feel. I had worked Saturday night after everything blew up, tormented and wondering if my wife's car and belongings would still be there Sunday morning. Thank God they were. Work Sunday night was much better. When I came home from work this morning, I was relieved that while my wife was getting ready for work, she was about back to her old self.
She realizes that what I did was not what the sober me would have done, and she stood by while I dumped the last of my stash. Of course, I've had the drunk thoughts of buying a bottle to hide for "medicinal purposes," especially if the shakes became unbearable, and it's been an hourly struggle not to do that, but I'm winning right now.
I'm in a pretty good place at the moment; I was able to sleep well today and am off tonight, so we will have some "us" time.
I got an unexpected check in the mail today, but it's going to the bank, not the liquor store.
Regards and blessings to all; thanks for reading.
I have been fortunate and blessed to have remained steadily employed in a job I enjoy a great deal, and haven't lost much exterior-wise.
Worse, I gravely endangered my marriage and my soul. Pride had compelled me to not put the bottle down, insisting to myself that to do so would be to admit I had gone too far. I finally did something that was "over the line," while drunk, and my wife found out. After the screaming, sobbing and silence ended, we were and are able to talk about things.
The first 24 hours was the hardest physically. I work night shift and sleep Sunday was sporadic and not at all restful. There were the shakes, cold chills and of course the mental torment of how I'd made my wife feel. I had worked Saturday night after everything blew up, tormented and wondering if my wife's car and belongings would still be there Sunday morning. Thank God they were. Work Sunday night was much better. When I came home from work this morning, I was relieved that while my wife was getting ready for work, she was about back to her old self.
She realizes that what I did was not what the sober me would have done, and she stood by while I dumped the last of my stash. Of course, I've had the drunk thoughts of buying a bottle to hide for "medicinal purposes," especially if the shakes became unbearable, and it's been an hourly struggle not to do that, but I'm winning right now.
I'm in a pretty good place at the moment; I was able to sleep well today and am off tonight, so we will have some "us" time.
I got an unexpected check in the mail today, but it's going to the bank, not the liquor store.
Regards and blessings to all; thanks for reading.
and welcome.
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