A bottle a day-
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Originally Posted by Mizzuno 
No drinking. Not even contemplating it. Ive got **** to do!
You are very strong and you will get through this.
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MIL has my work number. She has called many times over the last few months with larger than life stories about all kinds of stuff. Always needing help out of the facility.
She called today and needed me to talk with the doctor so she can be released. It just doesnt work that way. She cant lose her home she says. She can leave as long as I say its ok. She can prove she has the money to leave.
After a few days, she will become extremely agitated and call us every name imaginable. Its ******* awesome! This **** is awesome.
In reality, my life over the last few years has been filled with so much ****. Im like " I live in a god damn Soap Opera. This **** is epic!"
That being said, Im ready and quite capable of living a calm existence. Just routine. If I wanted to throw in some excitement; I could go to the movies or roller skating. Im putting as much effort as I can into "Mizzuno's Drama Free Life"
I cant control others. I can control who I allow and what I allow in my life.
Which brings me to the thought of no contact with MIL. Its become too much. She has my work number though. I work in a very demanding setting where I am paged and needed at all times. I cant screen phone calls. Its impossible.
Ill be thinking this one over sans alcohol. Maybe after a good nights sleep, I can come to a conclusion. All in time. Im going to figure out this boundary.
She called today and needed me to talk with the doctor so she can be released. It just doesnt work that way. She cant lose her home she says. She can leave as long as I say its ok. She can prove she has the money to leave.
After a few days, she will become extremely agitated and call us every name imaginable. Its ******* awesome! This **** is awesome.
In reality, my life over the last few years has been filled with so much ****. Im like " I live in a god damn Soap Opera. This **** is epic!"
That being said, Im ready and quite capable of living a calm existence. Just routine. If I wanted to throw in some excitement; I could go to the movies or roller skating. Im putting as much effort as I can into "Mizzuno's Drama Free Life"
I cant control others. I can control who I allow and what I allow in my life.
Which brings me to the thought of no contact with MIL. Its become too much. She has my work number though. I work in a very demanding setting where I am paged and needed at all times. I cant screen phone calls. Its impossible.
Ill be thinking this one over sans alcohol. Maybe after a good nights sleep, I can come to a conclusion. All in time. Im going to figure out this boundary.
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Ended the workweek on a good vibe. The beginning and middle of the week was awful. Lots of unnecessary drama in the workplace. Im still hopeful it will turn around. Its funny how one person can create so much drama and confusion. One person.
No drinking. Im quite content. I dont think about drinking. If I do, I only think of how awful I would feel and how regret would consume my heart and mind. Living in a space of being content is the goal.
Its the weekend. Ive been going non stop since last weekend. I plan to take it easy on my days off. Im not in a hurry to rehab this house. Ive got time. We have the rest of our lives really.....
Netflix here I come. Rest here I come. Sober.
No drinking. Im quite content. I dont think about drinking. If I do, I only think of how awful I would feel and how regret would consume my heart and mind. Living in a space of being content is the goal.
Its the weekend. Ive been going non stop since last weekend. I plan to take it easy on my days off. Im not in a hurry to rehab this house. Ive got time. We have the rest of our lives really.....
Netflix here I come. Rest here I come. Sober.
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MIL was released from the facility. What this means:
Series of phone calls that pertain to her buying lavish cars, losing her belongings, series of emails from a "friend" who enables and continues to ride the delusions, non stop cancer references. Non stop trying to buy lavish homes. Non stop shopping and spending all her money on nothing. Non stop doctor appointments with ailments that she doesnt have.
Can we not do this? Its been 5 months. Will the system please do its job and not release this person back onto the street where she can create more damage. I am very fearful of what her delusions tell her. Someone could end up dead or severely hurt and there is not a damn thing we can do.
The cancer hits home with me. It wears on my last nerve with this scenario. MIL calls to say she has stomach cancer. No, no you dont and I dont have the patience to hear or engage with this delusion. My sister dying of literal stomach cancer was enough. These delusions have taken on a life of their own. Its tiring. Thankfully, she does not have my number memorized. She only has the work line stored in her head. H has to deal daily with calls of desperation. His mother lost her mind. The sadness that is this situation.
Its been a great relief that alcohol is not in the home. I come home to a peaceful environment and wake up to the same ( I mean, aside from the MIL). 31 days of reprieve and I am gaining solid footing mentally and emotionally. I could not handle going back to being sick all the time. I just could not handle it. I couldn't handle it when I was actively drinking.
On a lighter note.. lets hope that all my internet searching and talking with the hardware store people turns out to be fruitful. The flooring in the master will be sanded this weekend. We plan to whitewash the wood after the sanding. All looks good in my mind. You know how what looks good on paper doesn't necessarily look good when implemented in real life? Lets hope that doesn't happen.......Lets hope the plans create something beautiful and functional. If not, then its back to the drawing board and we can live in the living room or move into the computer room until we come up with a different plan. I think the first plan will work though.
Homeowner. Its a biggie. A big responsibility that takes a lot of money to maintain or in this case rehab into a functional situation. Here we are!
Series of phone calls that pertain to her buying lavish cars, losing her belongings, series of emails from a "friend" who enables and continues to ride the delusions, non stop cancer references. Non stop trying to buy lavish homes. Non stop shopping and spending all her money on nothing. Non stop doctor appointments with ailments that she doesnt have.
Can we not do this? Its been 5 months. Will the system please do its job and not release this person back onto the street where she can create more damage. I am very fearful of what her delusions tell her. Someone could end up dead or severely hurt and there is not a damn thing we can do.
The cancer hits home with me. It wears on my last nerve with this scenario. MIL calls to say she has stomach cancer. No, no you dont and I dont have the patience to hear or engage with this delusion. My sister dying of literal stomach cancer was enough. These delusions have taken on a life of their own. Its tiring. Thankfully, she does not have my number memorized. She only has the work line stored in her head. H has to deal daily with calls of desperation. His mother lost her mind. The sadness that is this situation.
Its been a great relief that alcohol is not in the home. I come home to a peaceful environment and wake up to the same ( I mean, aside from the MIL). 31 days of reprieve and I am gaining solid footing mentally and emotionally. I could not handle going back to being sick all the time. I just could not handle it. I couldn't handle it when I was actively drinking.
On a lighter note.. lets hope that all my internet searching and talking with the hardware store people turns out to be fruitful. The flooring in the master will be sanded this weekend. We plan to whitewash the wood after the sanding. All looks good in my mind. You know how what looks good on paper doesn't necessarily look good when implemented in real life? Lets hope that doesn't happen.......Lets hope the plans create something beautiful and functional. If not, then its back to the drawing board and we can live in the living room or move into the computer room until we come up with a different plan. I think the first plan will work though.
Homeowner. Its a biggie. A big responsibility that takes a lot of money to maintain or in this case rehab into a functional situation. Here we are!
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We are still dealing with the MIL and her psychosis. She has once again been put into a facility. She was released and then within two weeks was placed back on a 51/50. We are hoping the Psychiatrist will call and we can explain the situation so she cannot be released again. It may take 2 more releases and two more holds to get her the proper help. She is gravely ill. Unable to care for herself. Unable to listen to others. Unable to even see what has taken place since December 2016.
This scenario really can take a toll on a family. We are one day at a time around here. Raising a teen. Ensuring the teen focuses on his studies and applies himself. Ensuring we have a calm environment for the teen and ourselves. The teen deserves to have a life that is stable and nurturing.
I finally finished the floor in the master. For a first time floor finisher, I think the work is good. There were a few mistakes made, but they are ones that I have to live with. The whitewash worked out really well but when I applied the Poly it took away the look I was going for. Now I know that I needed to add another layer of whitewash. When I move into the hallways, I will not make those same mistakes and the work will be better. This remodeling business is a lot of hard work and a lot of time. I have the time. I have the mental clarity for it. I am sober and am enjoying the sobriety. I dont have time to drink.
This scenario really can take a toll on a family. We are one day at a time around here. Raising a teen. Ensuring the teen focuses on his studies and applies himself. Ensuring we have a calm environment for the teen and ourselves. The teen deserves to have a life that is stable and nurturing.
I finally finished the floor in the master. For a first time floor finisher, I think the work is good. There were a few mistakes made, but they are ones that I have to live with. The whitewash worked out really well but when I applied the Poly it took away the look I was going for. Now I know that I needed to add another layer of whitewash. When I move into the hallways, I will not make those same mistakes and the work will be better. This remodeling business is a lot of hard work and a lot of time. I have the time. I have the mental clarity for it. I am sober and am enjoying the sobriety. I dont have time to drink.
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Mizzuno- I was also at 2+ bottles of wine most days. Sometimes only 1 (I told myself those were my "sober" days). My first step to quitting was the fear when I started waking up with heart palpitations at 29. Then I told everyone I knew, everyone who'd listen that I was an alcoholic. Talk to your doctor. Get on here and post alot. Find something to keep your time busy (I decided to start an organic vegetable garden..what better time than in the spring?) I'm going to AA AND seeing a therapist. I'm only on day 13. Please message anytime. Congrats and the first step admitting you have no control and this addiction is unmanageable.
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Originally Posted by Homesteadforage
Mizzuno- I was also at 2+ bottles of wine most days. Sometimes only 1 (I told myself those were my "sober" days). My first step to quitting was the fear when I started waking up with heart palpitations at 29. Then I told everyone I knew, everyone who'd listen that I was an alcoholic. Talk to your doctor. Get on here and post alot. Find something to keep your time busy (I decided to start an organic vegetable garden..what better time than in the spring?) I'm going to AA AND seeing a therapist. I'm only on day 13. Please message anytime. Congrats and the first step admitting you have no control and this addiction is unmanageable.
This is an ongoing thread for me so I can look at my progress.
Keep up the good work!
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Yep, I will say AA - it saved my life. Meds and therapy came after that, and still do - I took Antabuse the first 90 days of my sobriety, and I still take Campral daily (it is an anti-craving med). However, NOTHING will "work" if I don't stay completely committed to sobriety first.
Glad you are 48 days in. Keep going.
Glad you are 48 days in. Keep going.
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Originally Posted by August252015
Yep, I will say AA - it saved my life. Meds and therapy came after that, and still do - I took Antabuse the first 90 days of my sobriety, and I still take Campral daily (it is an anti-craving med). However, NOTHING will "work" if I don't stay completely committed to sobriety first.
Glad you are 48 days in. Keep going.
Glad you are 48 days in. Keep going.
Good Work!
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Originally Posted by asteriluxe
Congrats on day 48. I'm at a bottle a day and trying to stop so I don't continue down the rabbit hole.
Hope your MIL situation gets better.
Hope your MIL situation gets better.
There are many roads to the same destination. AA, Smart, Therapy, Medical professionals etc. I have been using this forum, friends and family and occupying my time by remodeling. I have nightly rituals now that keep me grounded and keep me safe.
So far so good, and I intend to keep it this way. Welcome to SR!
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Originally Posted by Mizzuno
We are still dealing with the MIL and her psychosis. She has once again been put into a facility. She was released and then within two weeks was placed back on a 51/50. We are hoping the Psychiatrist will call and we can explain the situation so she cannot be released again. It may take 2 more releases and two more holds to get her the proper help. She is gravely ill. Unable to care for herself. Unable to listen to others. Unable to even see what has taken place since December 2016.
This scenario really can take a toll on a family. We are one day at a time around here. Raising a teen. Ensuring the teen focuses on his studies and applies himself. Ensuring we have a calm environment for the teen and ourselves. The teen deserves to have a life that is stable and nurturing.
I finally finished the floor in the master. For a first time floor finisher, I think the work is good. There were a few mistakes made, but they are ones that I have to live with. The whitewash worked out really well but when I applied the Poly it took away the look I was going for. Now I know that I needed to add another layer of whitewash. When I move into the hallways, I will not make those same mistakes and the work will be better. This remodeling business is a lot of hard work and a lot of time. I have the time. I have the mental clarity for it. I am sober and am enjoying the sobriety. I dont have time to drink.
This scenario really can take a toll on a family. We are one day at a time around here. Raising a teen. Ensuring the teen focuses on his studies and applies himself. Ensuring we have a calm environment for the teen and ourselves. The teen deserves to have a life that is stable and nurturing.
I finally finished the floor in the master. For a first time floor finisher, I think the work is good. There were a few mistakes made, but they are ones that I have to live with. The whitewash worked out really well but when I applied the Poly it took away the look I was going for. Now I know that I needed to add another layer of whitewash. When I move into the hallways, I will not make those same mistakes and the work will be better. This remodeling business is a lot of hard work and a lot of time. I have the time. I have the mental clarity for it. I am sober and am enjoying the sobriety. I dont have time to drink.
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Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
Prayers, Mizz, for your MIL and for you and your family. You are handling an extremely difficult situation with strength and grace.
Everyone will be alright in the end.
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There is a god:
We finally have a psychiatrist who is helping MIL. The doctor called yesterday and talked with SO. He has stated that he will not release her until there is a plan for MIL that works for her benefit and the family. There will be a hearing this upcoming week to legally force meds into her. Right now, she is refusing medications because she is adamant that there is nothing wrong. She is also adamant that she has a billion homes and cars. She is adamant she has hundreds of thousands in the bank. None of these things exist. It's all very hard to take in and hear daily. She is also suing every single person she knows and doesnt know for that matter. One day she was mentally there and the next, gone.
The doctor did say there was hope. He has seen individuals make their way back into reality, for the most part, after a few months on medications. This is the first doctor we have talked with who has seen this mental disorder in other individuals. There also is a diagnosis. We knew, after hours of research, what she was displaying and what she "may" be labeled as. Its just finally good to hear this from a professional.
MIL never wanted to be in this situation. Over the years she would tell us to never let her end up in a psych facility. There is a history with her family. Even though these were her wishes, and we told her it would never happen, we are here. It has happened. Now is the time for the doctors and others to do their work in helping her make her way back to the world that we all have been living in.
Still sober. We have been working on the Master Bedroom for what seems like forever. Today we get to move all the bedroom stuff in. We wont be living in the living room anymore. I have named the living room our "Studio" and the bed our "Day Lounger". So, everything seems to be coming together.
I am very grateful for the good news and for what looks like hope. Very grateful.
We finally have a psychiatrist who is helping MIL. The doctor called yesterday and talked with SO. He has stated that he will not release her until there is a plan for MIL that works for her benefit and the family. There will be a hearing this upcoming week to legally force meds into her. Right now, she is refusing medications because she is adamant that there is nothing wrong. She is also adamant that she has a billion homes and cars. She is adamant she has hundreds of thousands in the bank. None of these things exist. It's all very hard to take in and hear daily. She is also suing every single person she knows and doesnt know for that matter. One day she was mentally there and the next, gone.
The doctor did say there was hope. He has seen individuals make their way back into reality, for the most part, after a few months on medications. This is the first doctor we have talked with who has seen this mental disorder in other individuals. There also is a diagnosis. We knew, after hours of research, what she was displaying and what she "may" be labeled as. Its just finally good to hear this from a professional.
MIL never wanted to be in this situation. Over the years she would tell us to never let her end up in a psych facility. There is a history with her family. Even though these were her wishes, and we told her it would never happen, we are here. It has happened. Now is the time for the doctors and others to do their work in helping her make her way back to the world that we all have been living in.
Still sober. We have been working on the Master Bedroom for what seems like forever. Today we get to move all the bedroom stuff in. We wont be living in the living room anymore. I have named the living room our "Studio" and the bed our "Day Lounger". So, everything seems to be coming together.
I am very grateful for the good news and for what looks like hope. Very grateful.
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