A bottle a day-
I just became a member here because I just don't ever stop drinking. I too am calling specialist tomorrow to get help. I'm going to make myself go to AA because I just can't stop on my own. I do not want to lose my job. I'm scared beyond right now.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Thanks all.
I had a busy day. Its time to take care of myself and rest for the evening. Lots of moving and cleaning this weekend. Lots of stuff to do.
You know what is exciting? Paint. All kinds of paint colors. And door and cabinet knobs. The hardware store just might become my home away from home.
I had a busy day. Its time to take care of myself and rest for the evening. Lots of moving and cleaning this weekend. Lots of stuff to do.
You know what is exciting? Paint. All kinds of paint colors. And door and cabinet knobs. The hardware store just might become my home away from home.
...... For me it was middle age, feeling terrible, the potential threat of a number of chronic, irreversible health problems that would likely mean long term hospitalisation, chronic pain, life time medication... All because I couldn't bear dealing with 4 hours of the day.
Turns out those four hours actually aren't that bad, just a little boring because I wasn't forcing myself to do things, because I just wanted to be drunk...which meant lazy.
So what do you think it'll take for you?
Turns out those four hours actually aren't that bad, just a little boring because I wasn't forcing myself to do things, because I just wanted to be drunk...which meant lazy.
So what do you think it'll take for you?
That was my drinking and mindset in an absolute nutshell.
4 hours a day.....
1. Find a non alcoholic beverage you like and keep drinking it, even when you aren't thirsty.
2. Call on all your willpower, change all your routines and do everything you can to to get to the end of day 1.
3. Repeat on day two. again on day three.
4. Have absolute faith in yourself that you can accomplish the above. If you tell yourself you can; you can. The opposite is also true.
5. Pray. Even if you don't know who or what you are praying to.
6. Read and digest point 4 again. This point has the potential to change your life.
Good luck on your journey, you're going to be absolutely fine.
2. Call on all your willpower, change all your routines and do everything you can to to get to the end of day 1.
3. Repeat on day two. again on day three.
4. Have absolute faith in yourself that you can accomplish the above. If you tell yourself you can; you can. The opposite is also true.
5. Pray. Even if you don't know who or what you are praying to.
6. Read and digest point 4 again. This point has the potential to change your life.
Good luck on your journey, you're going to be absolutely fine.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Talk about stress.
Just filed a missing persons report on my MIL. In December of last year she went into a psychosis and has never resurfaced mentally. Since December my H and I, along with other family members, have been trying to help her. She has lost everything but is mentally incapable of seeing the destruction. She is verbally abusive and delusional. Now she is missing. We live 7 hours away. We are moving into a new home. We are at max capacity with stress.
Drinking would only exacerbate this stress. Im so thankful to be away from the alcohol so I can think clearly through all of this.
Hopefully work goes smoothly today. Hopefully the move goes smoothly this weekend. Hopefully my MIL is found alive.
One step at a time.
Just filed a missing persons report on my MIL. In December of last year she went into a psychosis and has never resurfaced mentally. Since December my H and I, along with other family members, have been trying to help her. She has lost everything but is mentally incapable of seeing the destruction. She is verbally abusive and delusional. Now she is missing. We live 7 hours away. We are moving into a new home. We are at max capacity with stress.
Drinking would only exacerbate this stress. Im so thankful to be away from the alcohol so I can think clearly through all of this.
Hopefully work goes smoothly today. Hopefully the move goes smoothly this weekend. Hopefully my MIL is found alive.
One step at a time.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Update:
MIL was taken to the ER sometime in the early morning. We got a call from a Social worker at the hospital while we were at work.
A hold has been placed on her and she will be moving to a psych facility. This will be her third visit since December.
With the stringent laws in place, it has been very hard to get conservatorship over her affairs. We just want her to be safe and have a home to live in. Have food to eat. Have love in her life.
When she receives her monthly retirement check she literally spends it all on frivolous items. Her delusions are of money, homes and physical ailments.
It doesnt matter how many times we tell her she does not have $500,000.00 in the bank. She does not believe us or anyone. We tell her she doesnt have terminal cancer; she doesnt believe. We try to reason but there is no reason and there is no logic. She is out to lunch and will probably never return.
It may take a few more visits to the psych facility in order for my husband to make any headway for conservatorship.
Her logic is that I placed her in the psych facility. I must be super powerful to be able to pull those kinds of strings!? I have become the enemy until she talks with someone else and then they are the enemy. This has taken place for months now. Poor thing. My heart goes out.
So, i packed the car and started moving into our home. 7 car trips later and I am wiped out. I tried for 10 trips but my back wasnt having it. Its best to put all that chaotic energy into hard work. Its best to not think. Ill get back to "thinking" when I feel ready. Hard labor is my agenda for the next two days. H asked if we even needed a u- haul at this point? Yes, we do.
No drinking. Not even contemplating it. Ive got **** to do!
Goodnight SR.
Keep on keepin On.
MIL was taken to the ER sometime in the early morning. We got a call from a Social worker at the hospital while we were at work.
A hold has been placed on her and she will be moving to a psych facility. This will be her third visit since December.
With the stringent laws in place, it has been very hard to get conservatorship over her affairs. We just want her to be safe and have a home to live in. Have food to eat. Have love in her life.
When she receives her monthly retirement check she literally spends it all on frivolous items. Her delusions are of money, homes and physical ailments.
It doesnt matter how many times we tell her she does not have $500,000.00 in the bank. She does not believe us or anyone. We tell her she doesnt have terminal cancer; she doesnt believe. We try to reason but there is no reason and there is no logic. She is out to lunch and will probably never return.
It may take a few more visits to the psych facility in order for my husband to make any headway for conservatorship.
Her logic is that I placed her in the psych facility. I must be super powerful to be able to pull those kinds of strings!? I have become the enemy until she talks with someone else and then they are the enemy. This has taken place for months now. Poor thing. My heart goes out.
So, i packed the car and started moving into our home. 7 car trips later and I am wiped out. I tried for 10 trips but my back wasnt having it. Its best to put all that chaotic energy into hard work. Its best to not think. Ill get back to "thinking" when I feel ready. Hard labor is my agenda for the next two days. H asked if we even needed a u- haul at this point? Yes, we do.
No drinking. Not even contemplating it. Ive got **** to do!
Goodnight SR.
Keep on keepin On.
Hope today is going ok Mizzy ,
Lots unmanageable stuff . I remember one of the family had a blood imbalance and it made for all kinds of strange behaviour. I hope the Dr's get to the bottom of it.
I hope your ok , treat yourself gently .
m
Lots unmanageable stuff . I remember one of the family had a blood imbalance and it made for all kinds of strange behaviour. I hope the Dr's get to the bottom of it.
I hope your ok , treat yourself gently .
m
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Aloha!
We are in. I just settled down on the couch. Its been a busy 3 days. Ive been going to bed really early and waking up the same. 5 am and my eyes pop open and Im ready to start the day.. Its good to have energy and to be productive.
The feline family members are doing great. They hid all day in the backroom and then greeted me throughout the night as they explored their new home.
MIL is in a safe place. We are comforted knowing she is getting help. For now. Only for now.
This house needs a lot of work. We may be sleeping in the living room for awhile but Im excited to put in the work and to reap the rewards.
Still sober and so grateful.
Blessings to all.
We are in. I just settled down on the couch. Its been a busy 3 days. Ive been going to bed really early and waking up the same. 5 am and my eyes pop open and Im ready to start the day.. Its good to have energy and to be productive.
The feline family members are doing great. They hid all day in the backroom and then greeted me throughout the night as they explored their new home.
MIL is in a safe place. We are comforted knowing she is getting help. For now. Only for now.
This house needs a lot of work. We may be sleeping in the living room for awhile but Im excited to put in the work and to reap the rewards.
Still sober and so grateful.
Blessings to all.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I am well. I hope all is well with you too.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I have a different mindset towards alcohol this time around. I know its consequences and exactly what it will mean if I drink again. The prison I find myself in mentally and emotionally is horrendous. I just dont have it in me any longer to "try to moderate". At the end there wasnt even " moderation". The progression was monumental.
Im comfortable with this decision. It is a truth that I have longed to arrive. So, here I am sober and actually happy. Im not " missing out" on anything. Who likes to be hung over everyday? Who likes to see dark circles, bloat and illness all the time? Drinking is not a solution. Its just a huge problem that Im happy to leave behind.
Of course, I need to stay connected and reach out for support.
Thanks for being here everyone.
Im comfortable with this decision. It is a truth that I have longed to arrive. So, here I am sober and actually happy. Im not " missing out" on anything. Who likes to be hung over everyday? Who likes to see dark circles, bloat and illness all the time? Drinking is not a solution. Its just a huge problem that Im happy to leave behind.
Of course, I need to stay connected and reach out for support.
Thanks for being here everyone.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Tough end of the day. Seriously tough.
Im not sure what happened in me but I boiled over. Its not my norm. Tablecloths and misunderstandings. Ive had better moments.
Stressors: Work. Master bedroom floor is destroyed by cats. Sleeping in living room. Dryer broke. MIL is leaving awful messages. Moved this weekend and back to work. No down time. Back has been hurting all day. Constant interaction with people non- stop.
Everyone complaining. Trying to remain positive. Offering solutions and there is no acceptance.
I feel crazy and overwhelmed. Really overwhelmed. I may need to cry.
No drinking. Just needed to vent.
Anyways.
Im not sure what happened in me but I boiled over. Its not my norm. Tablecloths and misunderstandings. Ive had better moments.
Stressors: Work. Master bedroom floor is destroyed by cats. Sleeping in living room. Dryer broke. MIL is leaving awful messages. Moved this weekend and back to work. No down time. Back has been hurting all day. Constant interaction with people non- stop.
Everyone complaining. Trying to remain positive. Offering solutions and there is no acceptance.
I feel crazy and overwhelmed. Really overwhelmed. I may need to cry.
No drinking. Just needed to vent.
Anyways.
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