A conscious decoupling
 

Sobriety is an act of consciousness. It is deliberate and imprecise.

A few short years ago I was heading down a path seemingly unstoppable. I had virtually no control over my actions. Crack and drinking had its hands around my throat so tight I had no idea I couldn't breath.

2012 was a steamroller of a year until its culmination in December with life altering effects. During that time consciousness took a back set. Like riding in a car and the driver is heading for a cliff. I could do nothing but watch as it approached.

My close SR friends who have stopped and stayed stopped all reflect a depth of understanding that comes from the same place for all of us. When some event wakens us to see ourselves for what we had become. For me that was in December 2012.

There is no light switch with all this. I didn't just pack it in and suddenly become clean and sober. But the seed that these events planted in my consciousness was what I needed. I was not asleep any longer. I did not look away any longer. I knew I had to decouple from all that felt true and real in my life. Sad how the constant highs from crack can seem real.

I had to consciously take each step. Ask for help, make a plan, execute on that plan, throw that plan out and start with a new plan. And this crack head needed a grand plan seemingly far beyond what I am capable of. But slow small steps is what I took.

Sobriety is tangible. It doesn't sit beyond our grasp as if dangling from a stick tied to our backs. Don't think that way. Consciously take each small step. Try to see life as it is and not through the haziness of a cloud like I did for a decade. Consciously decouple from a life of drinking and drugs. I look around and see myself today and think "wow". I will never go back to what was. Never.

K

Weas,

Right!

Sobriety is analytical. Wanting to quit is the first step. Learning how to quit and stay quit....while being at least content...is the long road of addiction recovery.

The emotional mind beckons. The analytical mind must work through the call to pick up.

This battle is life long..

The BB talks about a miracle event where the higher power removes the urge to drink. In my first weeks sober I prayed to God to help me.

It worked for me. But, I still crave, but not like before.

Unfortunately, if a person does not believe in a higher power, and believes they are alone in the struggle...they are...imo...being led by the other power. That is a path of doom.

Didn't mean to get religious, but it is Sunday.

Thanks.

Also... sobriety need not be a battle.

In fact it can be a celebration. In fact, it really IS.

I know it can feel like a battle, a struggle for a while.... but if you choose it to be a celebration..... if you act to support that choice.... if you have faith in the joy that sobriety will bring..... ahhh, the magic.

Very nice thread. all of you ha e a very insightful way of looking at sobriety. Thank you for starting my day with such wise words

:tyou

Great reminder Freeowl,

A constant battle is exhausting. For me it is more like a battle 5% of the time. Otherwise, I revel in my sober living. In the beginning though, it was a battle 90% of the time. If that makes sense.

After my length of sobriety, the pain of the crave has lessened dramatically. In the beginning, I would just sit and crave. I would curl up on my bed and sob. It was horrible.

Thanks.

The idea of a battle or celebration changes over time. Certainly it did for me. I tend to have a more positive outlook on life.

Your entire post was thoughtful, Ken, as we've come to expect from you. The passage I selected above is something I hope all who are new to SR and/or sobriety take to heart.

Thank you.

Very thoughtful and helpful post, thank you.

Wow - thank you for sharing

This is a standing ovation worthy post :You_Rock_

:grouphug:

Well said Weez. :egypt:

Thank you so much for this thread, Weasel! :tyou Definitely some food for thought and a new way to look at the struggle for sobriety, for me.

Hi Ken,

Great post!! Hope you are doing well.

❤Delilah

Thanks everyone!

Delilah... I am doing well. :)

Always good to hear from you Ken and always food for thought :)

D

Hey K ,
it was Robby Robot who used to mention about apathy to our own addiction . It's an idea i've seen played out.

Thinking myself sober wasnt useful, doing sobriety ahh then something happens ...
I can write a book explaining how to cycle a bike , you can read it but you still wouldnt be able to ride a bike .. sobriety , in my experience is something we've got to practaice and do to become skillful .

Other people, books, knowledge can guide and illuminate, even show us how not to do something but the doing , we got to own that ourselves and fight the apathy .

m

Thank you for a beautiful post, Ken - filled with honesty, encouragement, and hope. I'm so thankful to know you & to have benefited from your insight.

Thanks Weasel-

Thank Ya Weasel