Eastcoaster20

What an incredibly brave post you've shared. I can relate in the fact that my addiction could absolutely destroy my career. I, too, got to the point where I'd start drinking and wouldn't stop until everything was gone. And the memory lapses. The looks I'd get from my husband not remembering conversations were embarrassing and downright scary. I'm on day 3 here but have found SR extremely helpful. I've tried to manage it on my own for several years with plans to only drink on weekends, etc. But I've finally succumbed to the fact I just have no control. I, also, have issues with anxiety so I'm hoping it dissipates as I get some solid recovery time under my belt. It's amazing how addiction really doesn't discriminate. Welcome to SR and good for you forwanting to get help now. We're all in this together.

wpainterw

Just to follow up on what Gottalife has wisely said, it seems to me that, although, as everyone suggests, the first priority should be to get well on to the recovery path an added incentive might be to keep also in mind a possible long term objective. Would not a doctor who managed to be successful in his or her own recovery also be successful in helping others who suffer from alcohol or other substance abuse. For example, I know of one, a member of an AA group I was in awhile back, who has a top position in the National Institutes of Health.. There are doctors who have had success in recovery and who are now helping others and/or engaging in medical research in this field, which has become one of the very top health problems in our country and elsewhere. Something you could dedicate a life to! Good luck.

Bill

dwtbd

Getting a DUI, showing up to work intoxicated/withdrawling/detoxing are all consequences of getting drunk/intoxicated. Those are the things you want to avoid, yeah ?

Not consuming alcohol , ever again, is the solution to avoiding all those consequences and more( the more being compounded consequences of alcohol abuse going forward, mental, physical and spiritual consequences).

Recognizing, separating from and not acting on the desire for intoxication is the solution to not having to live with the consequences of indulging that desire.

I resonated with the perspective and ideas of RR/AVRT ( great threads on these ideas here on SR in the Secular Connections forum).

Making the decision to never drink again, especially in the face of desire is as impossible as maintaining a high GPA and class rank, in other words totally do-able

Your best chance at achieving a healthier , happier and professionally satisfying life depend on You making that decision. Good luck with your decision and total control and mastery of your drinking comes from quitting full stop, put your 'beast' in a cage , lock it up and throw away the key, cut off ITs source and life blood, deny IT its indulgence and be free of the consequences, the alternative is simply not worth it.

I would be wary of 'announcing' any dependencies without fully considering the long term ramifications of such disclosures.

wish you well and hope to see you around
posting is a great first step , come back often, read, ask , post and come back often

Venecia

Welcome to sobriety, Blazer. Best thing that ever happened to folks like us.

Anna

Welcome!

I'm sure you know that alcoholism is a progressive disease and things will worsen, unless and until you stop drinking. We can offer you lots of support. I also think that your anxiety will improve when you have stopped drinking. I have generalized/social anxiety and it was at its worst when I was drinking. I hope that you make the decision to stop drinking because you are extremely vulnerable in your profession to losing everything.

gregknight

Welcome, blazer and thank you for the OP. Going through withdrawal from alcohol, is awful, but not nearly as awful I would think, as messing up a future medical career, among other things. Continuing to drink, driving drunk, etc., will do that. You can stay sober and while it is not ideal, I hope you can do so and complete your last two months of study. I would think with your resources, you can find a doctor who can help you in complete confidence. That might help you through some of the worst anxiety. Just always keep in mind that your sobriety, your health, is now your first concern, above anything else. My best wishes to you!

tiffanyeagle

i thought i would NEVER get a DUI.
until i did.
it isn't IF it will happen it's WHEN if you don't get help now.
and if it is nt a dui it could be something even worse.
good luck

BrendaChenowyth

I have a lot of insecurities with regards to going in to nursing.. We obviously learn about all the horror stories, a nurse picks up the wrong heparin syringe and kills a newborn, a nurse is rushing or distracted an gives way too large of a dose of insulin and kills a patient (they did it on Nurse Jackie, where she punched in 100 instead of 10 on the digital pump, but it did happen in real life).. they never work again, they never get over it.. It's my biggest fear. That and the fact that if a doctor writes an incorrect order and I administer the drug because I trust that doctor, that's on me, because I need to be familiar with every medication I give, and catch incorrect dosages. I HAVE to be sober to do this job. Sometimes I wonder why I even picked this, but then again, it's just as easy to harm another person due to neglect or reckless behavior associated with drinking if you don't work in the medical field.

blazer43

Thanks to you all for the comments and support. I know this is going to be incredibly difficult. But I NEED to do this not only for myself but also the patients I will be taking care of. I just hope I haven't gone too far already. I am really scared of failing at this and going back to drinking. I am setting up an evaluation at a treatment center near me this week and will see what they recommend, and how I can best move forward. At any rate, it feels great to be a new part of this community - thank you all for understanding and giving your support. I will keep you updated.

ljc267

You sound a lot like me. I hate losing or failing at anything I do. This fed my alcoholism for many years because I put so much pressure on myself to succeed at anything I did.

Try using that same drive to succeed at quitting drinking.