SoberNunn

I'm having a really hard time staying sober. I've gone from drinking everyday to about once a week but can't seem to manage more than a week sober. My therapist seems to think I'm making good progress but I keep falling off the wagon and hating myself for it. How many times did you try for sobriety? I've had so many day ones I've lost count...

kevlarsjal

I "tried" to not drink for a month, resulting in drinking every 4th or 5th day. Or moderation if you want to call it that. Been a daily drinker before, too. Then I decided to end this nightmare and get sober. That was 5 months ago and I didn't have a drink since then.

I think for me "trying" wasn't good enough, I had to make a decision. When I was still trying, drinking kind of remained an option for me. Now it's not and that's why I'm still sober. Cause drinking is no longer an option. No matter what.

biminiblue

Everyone finds their own way to sobriety, whether it's a gradual taper, a night in jail, a car accident, losing a job, or just waking up tired of it all.

In every case it is a one-time choice that is then backed up with daily decisions to not go back.

I don't drink, no matter what. Simple, not necessarily easy.

Eastcoaster20

I've quit too many times to count and honestly have never made it to 2 weeks. As a little background, I'm in my mid 40's, married and have two kids. I have a high pressure job in law. I know my drinking is starting to affect my health and now I know it's affecting my kids. That was my absolute breaking point earlier this week. I cannot and will not let my problem with alcohol affect my kids. And I know if I keep going, I will die. I'm scared to death of never drinking again. But I want to be a good mom, I want to live a long life and I want to be happy again. I'm interested to hear others responses. Maybe it's passing your own personal threshold which makes you finally want to stop for good and stop bargaining?

least

I kept trying until I achieved success. It's over seven years now and my life is better than ever. Look at my join date. I got sober in Dec 09, joined almost two years before that. It took me a while, hope it doesn't take you that long.

uncorked

For me, it was when my husband filed for divorce. He wanted custody of our then 9 yr-old son and is very wealthy -- can afford extended legal proceedings -- and I knew I had to do something drastic and serious to prove to the judge that I was a "good" mom. So I went to inpatient rehab for 7 weeks. I have 3 other kids, all college freshmen, from a previous marriage, but when I was at rehab they were seniors in high school and I missed some of that. But they much prefer me now and my oldest son is especially proud of me. Your kids deserve your full presence. I wish I would have found sobriety earlier.

doggonecarl

tried a lot of times to quit drinking...

But only one attempt at recovering from my alcoholism.

Grymt

I forget at the moment. Lots. For some reason the last time stuck. I didn't give up even though at times it felt like the only option. It was a bit like finding myself in a deep hole and trying to climb out of it. In the beginning I could only climb a little bit before sliding back. As time went on I could climb higher and higher which meant that when I fell I fell further and getting up was harder. Fortunately I also got better at climbing so I made it out at last. I don't want to go near that hole again. I applaud those who can make it in one go.

Boxkidone

"In every case it is a one-time choice that is then backed up with daily decisions to not go back. "

BBlue nailed this . We've all probably had hundreds of days waking up saying we'll never drink again , only to point the car towards the packy at that same night . It's the DAILY decisions that make all the difference and changed it for me . A program/ changing routines/therapy , what ever it takes ,but the decision is only successful with positive daily decisions.

SoberNunn

I really like this analogy Grymt. Congratulations on your sobriety

FreedomCA

I was struggling for awhile to get past my Day 1s until I started reading spiritual recovery literature. That changed everything for me and kept me sober.

SoberNunn

Any books you can recommend Freedom?

MarkTwain

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, the packy!! For those of you who never lived in New England, that's short for package store, which most of us know as a liquor store. When I left work my car automatically drove itself to the packy and I bought a bottle of Italian anisette, then drove around Boston and Cambridge drinking the entire bottle.

I quit drinking once....once and only once...because I was "licked," as the first step originally read, only once. It takes only once, but unfortunately no one can predict when they'll be licked enough to stop (which can be the word for the willingness to do whatever it takes to prevent the car from driving itself with me in it to the packy).

AlaskaGirl

I felt like I tried many times, but what I was really trying to do was take a break and then go back to being a "normal" drinker. It wasn't until I realized I just can't drink at all, ever, that it stuck. I'm almost at three months now and I don't think about drinking even a fraction as much as I did the first few weeks. It can feel overwhelming and scary to make such a permanent decision about alcohol, but once you do it it is very liberating. I have faith that you can do it. Hugs.

Hopeforme2014

For me it's been a million times I have said I was gonna quit...a lot of times I have quit...and a few times I've quit for a substantial amount of time...but I always end up going back....thinking my problem wasn't so bad or I'm pretty sure I have it under control now....only to realize that I don't...I'm on day nine sober now and I am having a hell of a time not drinking....this weekend has been brutal. I just want to numb these feeling of unease and irritability...I hate feeling like there is this internal struggle inside me..."go ahead and drink - no don't drink" that I cannot get to go away. I will never succeed until I can figure out how to shut this off...

I read somewhere today "there is a difference between not drinking and treating your alcoholism." Or something along that line. And that is most likely the missing piece to my messed up puzzle.

I just know that I'm only possible one drunk away from something I cannot undo and it's a huge gamble in taking that first drink and how it will turn out.

You would think that would be enough to put an end to the desire to continue drinking.

thomas11

I can only speak for myself, but I had the best intentions for quite a long time. Intentions don't get you sober. In fact, I would say that even if I was 99% committed to quit.....I couldn't quit. It wasn't until I was 100% committed and really put my foot down is when I (so far) have had success. It is only now that understand when others told me that I could not leave a crack in the door open or I would fail. Its true. Door has to be shut, and locked.

ljc267

I pretty much posted this in another thread today. That's what did it for me. I came to the decision that I was done. No, well I'll give it a go or I'll not drink for 2 days and see what happens. I decided I'm done and that's it. It made a world of difference for me.

SoberNunn

This resonates with me Thomas. 99% is not enough is it? Each time I recommit to sobriety I feel more determined but it needs to be 100% commitment for 100% of the time.

Dee74

I quit too many times to count, I stayed sober when I began to put as much effort into my not drinking as I used to into drinking.

I discovered if I really didn't want to drink anymore, I didn't have to

D

IN2Q

I am not sure how many times befor last year, but since January it has been 12. and I am sure last year was at least 52,. All I know for sure is I will never stop trying till I get it right, no matter how many times I have to start over.