Day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Fairfield County, CT
Posts: 110
Day 1
Finally facing the fact I have a problem. I'm not the mother my kids deserve and certainly not the wife my husband deserves. I feel and look awful. After my fathers death almost 6 years is when this slowly but surely began to spin out of control. So here it goes. Day 1.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North Georgia Mountains
Posts: 588
Congrats on your decision to stop drinking! I hope this forum helps you as much as it has helped me. There are some very knowledgeable people here that offer great support.
Stay Strong!
Stay Strong!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome.
I coped with my father's death, in 2001, with drinking, but it was my mother's terminal illness and death that sent me down the slippery slope that eventually brought me here and to sobriety.
They didn't get to see the sober me, but I honor their memory every day I'm in recovery. But it's the family who is with us that we truly owe our sobriety to.
I coped with my father's death, in 2001, with drinking, but it was my mother's terminal illness and death that sent me down the slippery slope that eventually brought me here and to sobriety.
They didn't get to see the sober me, but I honor their memory every day I'm in recovery. But it's the family who is with us that we truly owe our sobriety to.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Fairfield County, CT
Posts: 110
It really helps to know I'm not alone. Thank you so much! I look in the mirror and I'm not the person I want to be. I can't blaming loss as a means to drink away my sadness. I think bottom hit earlier this week when I was drinking through a bottle of wine and my daughter started crying and told me she hates it when I drink. It hit me so hard. Didn't stop me from finishing and drinking more during the week but I'm done. I'm just so done.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome to SR!
This place can give you a lot of support and information to help you get and stay sober. Life can be so much better; for me it got better that I had dared to even hope for.
This place can give you a lot of support and information to help you get and stay sober. Life can be so much better; for me it got better that I had dared to even hope for.
LoveHateMerlot
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 68
Hi Eastcoaster20! You came to the right place, I'm on Day 2, I am a mom and wife, and want to be better for them...and myself. I was hungover yesterday, so last night to get through it I allowed myself to eat all the junk food I wanted, knowing at least I'm sober. I'll start eating healthy again after I deal with the loss in my life (bottles of wine). My daughter said the same thing to me, she is 12. She says I act different and it scares her. I don't abuse her, but I get drunk and slur my words and think I'm hilarious (just stupid and fall over). I do get critical of my husband and turns into volatile words after I finish the bottle (sometimes 2). I'm ready to stop so I can give them the love they deserve.
Hangovers come with shame and guilt, but just focus on the fact that you are seeking help and desire to change....that deserves an applaud in my book. Stay on SR today, that helped me a lot, too. I will not drink with you today.
Hangovers come with shame and guilt, but just focus on the fact that you are seeking help and desire to change....that deserves an applaud in my book. Stay on SR today, that helped me a lot, too. I will not drink with you today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Fairfield County, CT
Posts: 110
Wow, my story is so similar to yours LoveHateMerlot! I thought I was funny when drinking but my kids saw me slurring words and basically acting stupid, which scared them. Feels good to know I'm not alone.
LoveHateMerlot
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 68
It really does help Eastcoaster20, to know that I wasn't alone when I came online here and started reading hundreds of posts. I am a normal person with a very bad alcohol addiction, and I live two separate lives....I have my own business, I'm a mom to two daughters, my house is always clean, I love to cook and bake, I volunteer, I am a PTA mom, I love my husband, and if you met me in person I bet you wouldn't be able to tell that I'm a drunk. At night it's a different story, 5:00 comes around and I'm opening a brand new bottle of wine, every day. I'm functioning every day with a bad hangover....but I still do my yoga, run, eat healthy, so I was always making excuses that this is my "vice" and I'm healthy otherwise. I lie to myself every day so I can open a new bottle of wine. My liver and pancreas hurt. My eyes have a hint of yellow, and not a bright white like I wish they were. I always wear glasses so people cannot look at my eyes and say, "oh yeah, she's a drinker." So many people are going through the same thing....including moms. The good news is our daughters can be forgiving if we choose to make the ultimate change for them. The best thing I can do for my daughters is show them that their mom has so much love for them that I will go to war for them. That is what this is....a war against our own demons. Stay strong. Keep reminding yourself today of all the good things you do. Stay sober, tomorrow morning will be a new and bright day :-) If you need to talk to a friend, send me a message, because it does sound like we are similar xoxoxo
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
HI Eastcoaster, welcome to SR. For many of us, by quitting drinking we reclaimed our lives. You can too. I know you are on day 1, just be prepared that days 2,3,4 and maybe even 5 and 6 might be rough. But they will end. That's when the fun begins. You'll feel great and free.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,665
Hi Eastcoaster, welcome to SR.
I found out when I joined SR that once you've stopped drinking, we need a plan to stay stopped, tools for the job.
Read around, you're with like minded people who know what you're going through and you can learn valuable information on how to deal with the cravings etc.
You can do it!
I found out when I joined SR that once you've stopped drinking, we need a plan to stay stopped, tools for the job.
Read around, you're with like minded people who know what you're going through and you can learn valuable information on how to deal with the cravings etc.
You can do it!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Good to have you with us, Eastcoaster. You sound disgusted and ready to do this. We know you can! Not being alone anymore meant everything to me. I had been drinking all day for ages when I found SR - just numb & useless. It feels wonderful to be free of it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Fairfield County, CT
Posts: 110
This is such a long time coming. It's been several years now that I knew I had a problem, would quit for a few days and start right back up again. Feel like I've lost some valuable time with my kids, husband and even my mother who is slipping away into the world of dementia. I need to stay sober and present.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
It looks like you've made it to day 2 Eastcoaster! Great job and congratulations. These first few days are the worst, but it will and does get better. I have three young children. During my worst times, I was drinking a beer while making breakfast for them. Thank goodness that was almost 15 months ago. My ability and my desire to just be present with my kids, to interact with them, to tend to the minutiae in their lives, to watch that late night movie, all of those things, has improved dramatically. Trust me, it is worth it. Keep up the fight. Remember that, as difficult as these early days are, you only have to do it this one last and final time. A much, much better world is waiting for you!
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