Words
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Essex County New Jersey
Posts: 140
Words
Just wanted to post something as a reminder that the words we see on these posts are a sorry stand-in for the feelings being expressed. Many of us while drunk will post here, looking for help, guidance ... and not use the best words.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Essex County New Jersey
Posts: 140
Dee you are perceptive as always. Yeah I drank tonight and my wife caught me. I feel like a bunch of garbage. Don't know how that translates into what I posted above or what I was trying to get across. Basically I am an idiot.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 107
I can relate to what your saying Spartaman. I was in a world of pain last month. I hurt so bad and wanted someone, anyone to understand what I was going through.
I might have revealed a bit too much of my personal struggles at the time but I sure am glad that I did. I believe that prayers spoken and positive thoughts sent my way made a difference in some way,
In 33 minutes I will have 36 days of sobriety, Don't be afraid to reach out here Spartaman. We all can all relate on some level. Wishing you well my friend.
I might have revealed a bit too much of my personal struggles at the time but I sure am glad that I did. I believe that prayers spoken and positive thoughts sent my way made a difference in some way,
In 33 minutes I will have 36 days of sobriety, Don't be afraid to reach out here Spartaman. We all can all relate on some level. Wishing you well my friend.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
You're definitely not an idiot spartanman - you've shown you can be sober...now you need to find a way to make it permanent,
Maybe that means finding another level of support, or making more changes - or both, but you're definitely not back at square one this time - you know better now
think about what you can add to what you've been doing
D
Maybe that means finding another level of support, or making more changes - or both, but you're definitely not back at square one this time - you know better now
think about what you can add to what you've been doing
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Essex County New Jersey
Posts: 140
Thanks everyone for the support. Waking up this morning was hard. I keenly feel all the reasons not to drink -- today I am hungover, tired, head aching, suffering from health anxiety and shame. Ugh, have to start over today.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by Spartanman 
Thanks everyone for the support. Waking up this morning was hard. I keenly feel all the reasons not to drink -- today I am hungover, tired, head aching, suffering from health anxiety and shame. Ugh, have to start over today.
Do you know how many times I've started at day 1? Too many times to count. I'm right there with you in that scary feeling that returns the morning after
With every slip, there's something to be learned. My mother (rest her soul) was sober for over 2 decades when she passed. I know I can't give you any profound wisdom that you don't already know. This stuff is harder than anything we've ever done, but in the long-run, it will be worth having our lives back in the end.
Take care of yourself today. Before you know it, day 1 will be under your belt.
Keeping fighting with me buddy. And remember, "This too shall pass!"
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I was talking yesterday to my therapist about how I haven't told anyone close to me besides my bf and sister that I'm have quit drinking..... again..... because I feel like a broken record and like no one will take me seriously. She told me that people trying to quit something often try 8 or more times seriously before it sticks. I'm not saying that relapse (I hate that word) is a part of recovery, but there does seem to be some evidence that it can take several attempts. I guess what I'm saying is try not to be too hard on yourself and make sure to learn from every accomplishment and every set back. This is a hard thing you are trying to do. I would examine what your thoughts were in the days/hours before you picked up so next time your AV tries to hijack your thinking you can be better prepared.
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