I feel I can't do this on my own anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 55
I feel I can't do this on my own anymore.
This is my first post, I have never sought help for an addiction before and hope I am doing it right.
I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer able to quit on my own. I am reaching out for help.
For many years I have been a drinker, social, or weekend or vacation drinker, but there has always been time lapses in between, weeks and sometimes months without even thinking about drinking.
In late 2013 following a traumatic event my drinking became more frequent. At first I was drinking every weekend and by 2015 it was most evenings to. Even my social circles have evolved to include more people who drink.
I tried to quit, and felt I was successful as I was able to go without drinking for a few days and than a week at a time and sometimes even longer. But never more than 10-14 days. And the reality finally sunk in this past Christmas, when I spent 10+ days drinking in a row. I felt I had to drink because it made me feel comfortable, And I didn't want to stop. That scares me, the feeling of not having control over what I put into my body is frightening to me. I cry a lot about this problem, I am ill equip to understand how this lack of will power has developed and how to correct it.
So as a New Years Resolution I wanted to put drinking behind me, so far I have failed every week. I do OK for 4-5 days and than break down and go buy something to drink. And I drink it all, till I pass out. I wake up in the morning with a headache and feeling shameful. And evidently I start the cycle over, convincing myself that I won't drink again. and after a few days I drake down and do it again.
I have one friend that doesn't drink, (I saw no point in asking my drinking friends) My non-drinking friend suggested I reach out to other people who have quit drinking since she has never experienced what I am going through.
I would greatly appreciate any guidance or advice. I need this problem to go away. Thank you.
I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer able to quit on my own. I am reaching out for help.
For many years I have been a drinker, social, or weekend or vacation drinker, but there has always been time lapses in between, weeks and sometimes months without even thinking about drinking.
In late 2013 following a traumatic event my drinking became more frequent. At first I was drinking every weekend and by 2015 it was most evenings to. Even my social circles have evolved to include more people who drink.
I tried to quit, and felt I was successful as I was able to go without drinking for a few days and than a week at a time and sometimes even longer. But never more than 10-14 days. And the reality finally sunk in this past Christmas, when I spent 10+ days drinking in a row. I felt I had to drink because it made me feel comfortable, And I didn't want to stop. That scares me, the feeling of not having control over what I put into my body is frightening to me. I cry a lot about this problem, I am ill equip to understand how this lack of will power has developed and how to correct it.
So as a New Years Resolution I wanted to put drinking behind me, so far I have failed every week. I do OK for 4-5 days and than break down and go buy something to drink. And I drink it all, till I pass out. I wake up in the morning with a headache and feeling shameful. And evidently I start the cycle over, convincing myself that I won't drink again. and after a few days I drake down and do it again.
I have one friend that doesn't drink, (I saw no point in asking my drinking friends) My non-drinking friend suggested I reach out to other people who have quit drinking since she has never experienced what I am going through.
I would greatly appreciate any guidance or advice. I need this problem to go away. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
Hi IN2Q, welcome. There is a lot of useful info in the sticky's (such as how to make a plan for sobriety). Will power alone did not work for me- and unfortunately the 'problem' just does not magically go away. I firstly went to a doc for a physical checkup to see what I needed to do to get physically healthy. I also see a counsellor and attend meetings.
Perhaps join the March thread in newcomer's? Keep posting and reading.
Support to you, PJ
Perhaps join the March thread in newcomer's? Keep posting and reading.
Support to you, PJ
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. 
You'll find lots of support here so make use of it. Post before you want to drink and we'll try to talk you out of it. 
It is also helpful to post once a day in the 24 hour thread in Daily Support forum.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-220-a.html
You'll find lots of support here so make use of it. Post before you want to drink and we'll try to talk you out of it. It is also helpful to post once a day in the 24 hour thread in Daily Support forum.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-220-a.html
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Welcome IN2Q. You're in the right place. All of us have been where you are now. Some with decades of knowledge, some (like me) who are at the beginning for their journey.
It's scary when you realize that you need to put something into your body to feel relaxed, happy... And waking up in the morning feeling like **** most of the time isn't a way to live.
Hang in and read as much as you can here, in books, online... The knowledge you gain will give you the tools to set yourself free.
It's scary when you realize that you need to put something into your body to feel relaxed, happy... And waking up in the morning feeling like **** most of the time isn't a way to live.
Hang in and read as much as you can here, in books, online... The knowledge you gain will give you the tools to set yourself free.
Now what?
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Oregon Coast
Posts: 100
Originally Posted by IN2Q 
I would greatly appreciate any guidance or advice. I need this problem to go away.
That's where inpatient residential treatment can be helpful. You're in a safe environment where alcohol isn't accessible. Treatment center stays can be anywhere from 21 days up to 3 months or longer.
There are also out-patient treatment centers where you can attend treatment - for example - 4 to 6 hours a day, 3 to 5 days a week.
Meetings might be helpful, but I hesitate to applaud the idea because you've just said that you're unable to stay stopped.
There is an answer. You just have to reach out, choose something, and go after it. And keep trying - no matter what.
Best
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
First let me say I think you are lucky to have a friend who doesn't drink.
Coming here is the right move.
Nurture you non drinking friendships. They will be important for you in the life ahead.
The person getting sober here is you. No one can do it for you. That's the K.I.S.S. principle at work. Keep It Simple, Stupid. You'll come across other apparently blithe sayings. Take them seriously. Recovery is about changing habits on a deep level. Just like you have been, like all of us, creating a fundamental habit of drinking in response to circumstances you are going to have to deny that habit and replace it with a new one.
The old habit will sneak up on you at surprising times so you are going to have to prepare a plan of what to do BEFORE picking up the first drink.
Remember for an alcoholic one drink is too many and 1000 is not enough. You must not pick up the first drink. That's prime.
Ok you have not picked up. Now you do instead the habit changing stuff that you'll learn here and from sober alcoholics world wide. And you keep doing it. No matter what.
Coming here is the right move.
Nurture you non drinking friendships. They will be important for you in the life ahead.
The person getting sober here is you. No one can do it for you. That's the K.I.S.S. principle at work. Keep It Simple, Stupid. You'll come across other apparently blithe sayings. Take them seriously. Recovery is about changing habits on a deep level. Just like you have been, like all of us, creating a fundamental habit of drinking in response to circumstances you are going to have to deny that habit and replace it with a new one.
The old habit will sneak up on you at surprising times so you are going to have to prepare a plan of what to do BEFORE picking up the first drink.
Remember for an alcoholic one drink is too many and 1000 is not enough. You must not pick up the first drink. That's prime.
Ok you have not picked up. Now you do instead the habit changing stuff that you'll learn here and from sober alcoholics world wide. And you keep doing it. No matter what.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
It's great to meet you IN2Q. Talking things over with others who understand made a huge difference to me. I had felt all alone before joining SR. Plenty of encouragement to be found here. I thought all I needed was stronger willpower too - but once that first drink hits us, anything can happen. It feels wonderful to be free of it. You can do this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome IN2Q
you posted exactly right
coming here to SR was really a game change r for me - the support here is wonderful, as is the advice. SR helped me stop that cycle where I'd be sobe r for a few days and then drink - I know we can help you too
you posted exactly right
coming here to SR was really a game change r for me - the support here is wonderful, as is the advice. SR helped me stop that cycle where I'd be sobe r for a few days and then drink - I know we can help you too
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: NY
Posts: 58
Hi INQ2. Welcome to SR. Drinking is very difficult to stop on your own. There is much support here. I have been on the site for three and a half weeks. I have tried stopping many times and finally had enough of the Drinking/stopping cycle. I think I finally was willing to admit I had a problem with alcohol instead of making excuses. It is not easy, but I feel so much better without alcohol in my system. I feel optimistic about the future. Good luck to you. Read and post often.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 55
As I am sure you all can tell, I am very new at thread based forums, but I will learn,
I want to thank you all for the advice and I will check out the quitting plan and the other threads, Thank you for the support.
I want to thank you all for the advice and I will check out the quitting plan and the other threads, Thank you for the support.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Welcome to SR, as you can see you will find a ton of support here. That 4-7 day window is a tough one. Just long enough to forget about the last drunk, and feel good enough to start a new one. Its a mirage, they are all bad. If you are unable to quit on your own there are options available to you. Are you willing to see professional help?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 29
I've found that the Steps of recovery are essential to my sobriety. I'm powerless to change this on my own. Making resolutions did nothing for me.
I'd encourage you to stay around others in recovery and get a recovery book to start the process.
I'm so glad you're here.
I'd encourage you to stay around others in recovery and get a recovery book to start the process.
I'm so glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 188
I was right where you are. Enlightenment happened after 3 monts of sobriety when I became happy with me. Find the reason your drinking. Find out what you are suppressing with alcohol. Once that is pinpointed see a councler to talk about it.
Drinking is not the problem. What is causing the drinking is the problem.
Drinking is not the problem. What is causing the drinking is the problem.
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