Life long??
 

Hi all.

I'm on day 11. Really happy about that!

Anyway, I come on here a lot and read a lot of people's posts. What scares me is that people who have quit for 15/20 years end up going back to it and end up back at day 1 again.

Don't get me wrong it's better to try again than give up.

Its the fact that it still holds some power, some desire after so long.

I quit smoking over 8 months ago and my chest feels like it wants a cigarette, but my mind and heart certainly don't. I actually can't stand being around cigarettes anymore. Do you think it's possible to get to that stage with alcohol or even to the point where it's just not a thought???

Congrats on making it to day 11!

I don't know it it ever get to a point where it's not even a thought. I don't really even expect that. Alcohol is everywhere - unless you go live on a desert island or deep in the woods with no contact with the outside world, you'll see it. The goal should be to get to a point where the thought is just a thought, like any other one. "Hey, the sun is shining today!" "That's a pretty flower!" ""I could have a drink if I want to!" "It's raining today!" etc. Just a thought - with no more weight than any other thought. Nothing you need to act on or dwell on. I'm getting to that point. I see alcohol, I note its existence, I think about having one, the thought passes, I go on with my day.

Congratulations on quitting smoking and drinking! I'm new to this too. From what I've heard it is possible to get there, but I guess we'll have to just wait and see.

early in year 4, for me alcohol is hardly ever even a thought.

This morning, friends were gathered around coffee talking about a liquor tasting they'd gone to. They were bandying about the various nuances of the vodkas, clear whiskeys and rums they'd sampled..... citing a certain similarity amongst them.

I piped up.... "The similarity you're picking up on, methinks, is ETHANOL.

They all stopped and looked at me a little baffled. Another friend of mine, on the other side of the room, also a man in sobriety, looked at me with a grin and we both laughed.

I'm glad alcohol isn't in my vision of a good life anymore.

And I choose to come here regularly, duck into AA meetings occasionally, keep my head in recovery, give my time in service at my local detox - all so that I keep myself well-reminded of the blessing that sobriety is to me.

Life long? That's what I choose. :)

Yes, I think it's possible to get to the point in ones recovery where "thoughts" of alcohol don't equate with "thoughts" of drinking.

But recovery is life long. Else those thoughts do turn to drinking...even twenty years down the road.

As others have said, not sure if you'll never have thoughts of alcohol, but you can definitely get to a point where you don't crave alcohol or think about drinking it. That being said, I think its fair to say we are never cured.

ive been sober a little while.
give me a warm summer day and a lawnmower and the THOUGHT of drinking will come up sometimes.
those thoughts seldom happen.
but i wont let a thought control my actions.by the grace of God i didn't completely destroy my memory and know where 1 drink will take me.
then i turn my attention to something more useful.
however
that didn't happen overnight. the mental obsession was quite strong for some time. it took T.I.M.E. for my thinking to change

Great job on 11 days! It's never a cake walk, but it does get easier.

I can't speak for myself as I have under a year as of today, but the common theme for people who go "back out" is that they got complacent. They stopped putting in the work (and staying sober IS work), they stopped being honest with themselves, they didn't hold themselves accountable, etc.

As for thinking that far ahead, though, my advice is to treat it the same as drinking - don't do it. The saying "one day at a time" is popular for a very real reason, and that's because the thought of doing this forever can become daunting, and cause needless stress. Vow to not drink today. Then be sure to make the same promise tomorrow, and so on. We only have today to tackle this, so do the absolute best you can to fight this thing today, one day at a time.

Well, I don't fight, I don't do one day at a time, I don't stress, I don't white knuckle. I DON'T find the thought of 'doing this forever' daunting - simply because the technique I chose to stop drinking, involved the Big Plan pledge that 'I will NEVER drink again, and I will NEVER change my mind. I don't have the stress of 'battling' one day at a time. As far as I'm concerned, the 'battle' is over and I've won, higher pre-frontal cortex has trounced lower/ mid- brain! Easy once you learn the technique.

The technique is RR/AVRT which is demonstrated in Secular Connections on this forum. Its as old as the hills, for instance Buddhism, popular folklore etc., knew about it eons ago.

I'm glad that that's worked for you, and that you found it easy; it did not work out that way for me, despite my best efforts. Just offering my advice from my own perspective, which is all anyone of us here can do.

I can't take care of Friday business on Wednesday.......pretty good chance if I do what I need to today I'll go to bed sober tonight.

Good job on taking steps to better your life, today!

Sober Day #39 after being dependent on wine, daily, for years.
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Hi Al31,
Congratulations on quitting smoking and drinking!

I quit drinking before, for 5 years, and after the first few weeks, I rarely thought about it.
Then a severe trauma happened to me, and I thought that I didn't truly have a problem
and that I could just have 1 glass of wine to help me get through what I was going through.
We all know what happened----I was quickly back to the level of drinking that I was at before I quit, and drank daily again for a few more years.

This time I am armed with RR (AVRT) and this site, and I know that will make all the difference in the world.

Exactly 38 years ago this month, I quit smoking (1 ppd) cold turkey, and have never had another puff since. It was the best gift I ever gave myself. I have NEVER been tempted to have "just one" and am not worried about being tempted, because it is not even a consideration---it is out of the question.
I realize now that I dealt with quitting smoking in an AVRT way, without realizing that I was doing so. I believe that quitting alcohol can be done the same way.
You would never tell yourself: "Maybe I don't really have a problem with cigarettes----maybe I can have just one"
because you know that you would be addicted again in no time. Look at quitting alcohol the same way.

Hi Al

I ended my drinking as an all day everyday drinker. I did that for several years. I'm coming up to ten years sober...

I'm not bothered by thoughts of drinking anymore, I have a great life and I'm very happy.

I've done a lot of work beyond just not drinking and I think that makes a difference.

I didn't start drinking for nothing... and I also had to address those underlying things that 'made' me drink in the first place.

Everyone has moments of struggle. I had an experience a few years back where I was in incredible pain - drinking crossed my mind then one dark night but I had a lot of other options to call on by then - reaching out for help, seeing my Dr about the pain, trying techniques like urge surfing to surf through the desire....

I stayed sober.

I've also stayed sober through loved ones dying, breakups, fears of flooding where I love and other illnesses.

I don't know why people relapse after long periods, but I do know several people here, passed now, who stayed in recovery for the rest of their lives - CarolD, Laurie6781, RobbyRobot and gtgrandpa.

There are others members here too, right now, with many years recovery.

Those are the guys I look to :)

Lasting recovery really is possible :)

D

Day 11 is fantastic!! Keep it going!! :scoregood

I've learned to prepare for the worst. Most if not all accounts I've read of people after many years of sobriety falling off the wagon are about a mental shock of some kind.

I have a few coming up that are inevitable. The main ways I prepare for them are to daily practise the techniques that have proven themselves to me to work. For me that's mindfuless meditation (Anapana and Vipassana)and loving kindness meditation (Metta).

I don't know how I will cope with future shocks but I know the preparations will give me a buffer that helps me overcome without picking up.

Meanwhile, always one day at a time.

I use to think "why would people that have 10, 20+ years of sobriety still attend AA or other support outlets"? Then i realized that's the reason why they have long lasting sobriety.
You always have to keep your guard up, though the longer you are sober, the quieter the AV gets.

yes.

i take your "where it's jst not a thought" to mean: "where you do not wish for drinking, consider it an option, play with the idea, see non-drinking as a problem to live with...." along those lines.

to me, this is what is meant by being recovered.
and yes, we can recover.

I am just about at 5 years and I never really think of alcohol. I wouldn't have believed it possible when I first quit. Things changed for me when I decided that I could never ever have a drink again. Once I surrendered to that idea, my mind finally got over it and I moved on.
If I picked up again, sure I would be right back in deep. A neurological path was created and there is nothing I can do to get rid of it. However, I choose a different path to live. That is the path I want to follow, so why dwell on the other.