Meeting attendance and online recovery
 

I'm trying to get my footing again after being in and out for the last three years. I was sober for over 21 years before so things are different for me this time. Obviously I'm not as young as I was before so I find it hard to dive head first into a AA/NA lifestyle like I did before. I have my original sponsor from years ago but I live 6 hours away from him. We have begun to work the steps together over the phone which is good because I'm comfortable with him. I've struggled to get to know people and really don't have a desire to socialize with people as I've found a lot of immaturity in the groups. I honestly don't want to go to meetings much.

My question is - how much do you guys rely on this community vs. meetings and such? I'd like to hear some views on that and if I'm crazy to think that I can do most of this online now? Am I crazy? I've been sober since Jan 15th of this year.

I don't go to meetings - I just passed three years sober.

I was previously sober almost two decades and never went to a meeting. Some would argue that, "Yeah, but you drank again." So do many who are in the rooms, so that's not a guarantee.

It's an inside job for me. Some people need or want that group dynamic or that particular model of sobriety. It's a choice.

There are many ways to be sober. People have been quitting drinking since way before 1940 when AA came into existence, so there's that. Before the internet, too.

It's an inside job.

Of course not.

Take a look around and you will see lots of different plans and ideas for recovery. For me, initially I used books to help me find my way spiritually. After the first few years, I found SR and I have been here ever since. I think it depends on your motivation and if you are determined to make this work. :)

It doesn't matter so much that you don't go to AA. What matters are the reasons you don't go.

I go to one meeting a week. Last night I went because I didn't really want to.

I find the online experience essential. It helps me to be concerned about the well being of others. That in turn supports my sobriety. I realise now that for years I was what is called a dry drunk. I wasn't active in AA or here and was really going nowhere. A risky place for an alcoholic to be. Generally, a balanced self needs interactions with others.

Good stuff, thank you.

Many people find AA a godsent, while for others it wasn't for them. There are many paths to find lasting sobriety. Quite a few have done so with just books, self help plans like rational recovery, and even just this forum.

Everyone is different. I found AA incredibly helpful and supportive in early sobriety, especially after I found a meeting I liked that was a good fit or me.
End of the day, though, it wasn't the program for me. I post here a lot and listen to recovery podcasts. I am going on 4 years alcohol-free.

I think there are many different means to the same end, and that's what is important, we're all here to achieve Sobriety, but there are many ways of maintaining that.

For me I started primarily with online support, mostly here on SR, then after a few years I added to that with the occasional meeting, but online is still the main support tool I use.

It's important to find what works for you, there is no one way!! :)

I log on to this website almost every day.

I usually go to 1 meeting per week, of a group I've been pretty connected to for my 7 years of sobriety.

This is the regimen that is working for me.

I have only utilized this forum and a complete makeover of my lifestyle to remain sober. I would not be opposed to meetings or rehab if I ever relapsed.

At first meetings were me were necessary. Needed/wanted- to make a human connection. I have a sponsor did all the big book, steps stuff. I now find myself questioning a lot of things in my life. I do not go to meetings now out of obligation or because my sponsor does so religiously. I choose to go when I do. AA to me is a place for learning from others- BUT the focus is booze. I drank to avoid a lot of things which AA cannot answer. It works great for many. I still go, but I do not go 'because I have to feel better'. I would rather work out why I feel crap- with appropriate support/learning- so eventually I will grow from feeling crap. SR is a part of that journey, but not the only one.

I've never gone to meetings, but early on (my first five years), I saw a counselor once a week. I've been relying on SR for nine years now and can say it's been a great help to me. :)

I haven't been sober that long but for reasons I can't fully explain SR has made all the difference in the world for me. Much of it is I can strengthen my sobriety any time any where when I need it most. Having access to so many great people, with so many diffrent experiences has helped with my sobriety as well as made me a better person.

I think it's all about what works for you though

I appreciate the input, it has been very helpful. I'm from the old school AA and have been afraid that I wasn't doing enough. More thoughts are welcomed.

I think connection in any form is a strong antidote for addiction.
The beauty of the online community is, that we have a veil of safety and anonymity that we may be afraid that we won't have in real life. And in the beginning, we all have fear of what reaching out will mean in our lives.
Connecting to others and connecting with ourselves on our deeper level is how I feel that I've filled that void and that discontentment in my life.

It's all in what each of us make of our recoveries. :)

I attend 5 AA meetings a week. I check into SR daily. I believe that there are many ways to stay sober. What works for me probably won't work for you and vice versa. AA helps me to keep structure and reminds me of my desperation when I first joined the rooms. I am grateful for AA and the different types of meetings available.

For me, a combination approach is working very well. Early on, I went to 3-4 meetings a week, and dove into SR and lots of reading about recovery at the same time. My whole life was about sobriety and recovery. I've cut back on all of it now, but still go to a meeting a week (a women's meeting that is a perfect fit for me), I still read and post on SR almost every day, I still seek out and read recovery literature. I like meetings because it's accountability and connection I feel like I need, I like SR because it's there 24-7, I like reading books because it fills in the gaps. They all serve different needs for me.

I go to meetings because it was the only thing I hadn't tried yet, and nothing else got and kept me sober. I was desperate, and in that desperation decided to finally really gave AA a shot, and that's what helped me get my life back. That doesn't mean I think everyone needs to go to meetings to get or stay sober, but for me, it was the only thing that has worked..

I will admit, though, that my severe social anxiety sometimes prevents me from walking through the door, even on days when I really want to. I am still working through this issue and hope to get to a better place. That's a big reason why I re-joined this community - to keep myself connected and accountable, and to remind myself of how bad it was and how bad it will absolutely, undoubtedly get if I pick up again.

Find what works for you, and stick with it is the best advice I could give. Far be it from me to tell anyone they're getting and staying sober the wrong way; as long as you have a plan, and you're sticking with it, you're doing better than a lot of people out there.

I no longer go to meetings. Since joining SR I've found a method to stop drinking, right here on SR. It's in Secular Connections, although the method may be used by people of faith, its called Rational Recovery AVRT.

Never went to any meetings. For me, it's been mainly SR (approaching 8 years sober in June).