Apparently I'm not an alcoholic?!
 

Well made it through yesterday and didn't drink. I guess if you drink or not, tomorrow still comes anyway.

Anyway I told my best friend I was using this forum. Her response 'you are not an alcoholic'.

Now you've got to understand, her father is a stereotypical cliche alcoholic so that's how she sees them all. Plus I'm her drinking Duddy so no doubt that plays a part in her thinking.

Anyway with her saying that my AV went crazy. But I'm remaining strong!!

Sometimes it's best to follow your own belief and not ask for opinions from others.

You know what is right for you, so stay the course.

me too kinda

the little bit of drinking/ drugging i did after high school for a few years was the symptom of the real problem which is me and my thinking


:tyou

It's not her question to answer. It's yours. So good for you for remaining strong. That comment may have sabotaged a lot of people. Good work!

doesn't matter.

heck, I don't know if I'm "an alcoholic". What even IS that? I mean, I say it a lot. Sometimes I truly mean it. Other times it's more a ritual and a pledge while identifying with what the term means TO ME.

but the bottom line is you can't scientifically and definitively take a test that tags you yes or no.... (yet). so until that time I say - WHO CARES if you're 'an alcoholic' or not.

Has alcohol caused you problems? Does it interfere with the richness and presence and fullness of your life? Does alcohol take control of you in ways you wish it wouldn't? Have you tried putting it down and found that difficult or darn near impossible? Would you like more out of your life than alcohol offers?

Then what's important isn't "alcoholism" - it's SOBRIETY.

When people question my 'alcoholism' - I sometimes just say "you're right.... I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a person who chooses to life in sobriety".

;)

Keep at it.

:grouphug:

I've had a few people tell me they don't think I'm an alcoholic. I just say that it doesn't matter what the label is, alcohol was doing me no favors, causing me lots of problems, and that I choose not to drink anymore. I don't actually care if I'm an alcoholic or not. Because now I live a sober life, and I greatly prefer it.

I think people don't understand why someone would willingly give up drinking if they aren't "actually" an alcoholic. Well, there are a lot more reasons for me to give up drinking than there are to continue. That's all that matters to me.

I find people tend to have a stereotypical view of the term 'alcoholic', and if you don't fit into that, they assume you can't possibly be one. I'm not even sure what the term means to be honest. All I do know is that I don't want to drink anymore, as it was ruining my life. It sounds as if you're on your way too :)

I fit the pretty much textbook definition of an alcoholic. Countless attempts at quitting for good and failing along with an inability to stop drinking once I start. But I've self-flagellated over wanting to convince everyone around me that I'm an alcoholic too. People I drank with would not disagree. But some, esp. in my family, who I did not drink with, don't seem to really buy into it.

This only really bothers me in the context of whether I "need" to go to AA or not.

But y'all make a good point. It's not whether I fit someone else's stereotypical visage of an alcoholic - stumbling and mumbling, unkempt, brown paper bag in hand. It's that I want to give up drinking.

Even in AA, the only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking. It does not say it's a requirement to be an alcoholic (although most are I presume).

I wasn't your typical alcoholic. I never missed work or bills. I never was violent or falling down, and never slurred my words, but I am an alcoholic. I just perfected appearing as though I wasn't. I could drink a 12 pack and you would never know it. I've said this several times on here that I told my daughter I quit drinking and she asked me why. I hid the fact that I couldn't control my drinking. i planned my whole life around it.

Looks can be deceiving. If you think you have a problem odds are you do.

If I envision myself and what I think an alchy is then I'm not one, but I know deep down I am!

You tell somebody you are an alcoholic and they respond that they don't think you are.. I know the feeling. Smh.

I think sometimes people who tell me they don't think I'm an alcoholic are just afraid that if I am, they must be, too, and they aren't ready to think about themselves that way. The people who say it to me are generally pretty heavy drinkers themselves.

It's important to make our own decision, if alcohol is causing problems in our lives then nothing changes that fact, and nothing changes the solution.

People's opinions don't change the facts . . . hang in there!! :)

Lots of people told me I wasn't an alcoholic either, but I still nearly killed myself (literally) with booze.

D

Very well said. Thx.

Have a friend who had near fatal liver disease. He told his mother he was an alcoholic and her response was - oh no dear you couldn't possibly be that.

To thine ownself be true

I think the "alcoholic" label is a double-edged sword. At first, calling myself that helped break my denial around problems alcohol was causing me. But after I'd been sober awhile, I ruminated over the fact that I don't fit the textbook definition (not to mention, there's no single clear and universally accepted definition).

It got me into debating with myself -- "either I'm an alcoholic and I can't drink, or I'm not an alcoholic and I can start drinking again".

Fortunately I eventually realized that was a false dichotomy. Now I am clear that I choose not to drink, and it makes no difference if I'm an "alcoholic" or not.

Me neither. I just crash cars and hurt the one's I love..We'll call it "I'm just silly."
Be careful of friends that are/were drinking buddies.. They will sometimes resent your trying to get/stay sober.. I had to breakup with my gf over my sobriety.

There is much debate around what constitutes an alcoholic. For me, alcohol was impacting my life in a negative way, and I was drinking daily. I didn't have a big rock bottom moment, but I was not the best person, mom, wife, employee I could be without drinking.

I have 14 and a half months sober, and life is so much better.

Labels are for cleaning products and snack cakes! I don't think it's productive to label yourself. What is an alcoholic? Are you one when you're not drinking? If you are or aren't one, does it matter? I look at it another way- what happens when I drink? Does drinking affect my life in a negative way? Does drinking make me feel good or bad? Do I like myself more the next day or less? Do I make good decision when I drink or bad? Does it affect my job? My relationships? My family?

I drank way too much for around 25 years. Some of my friends also drank a lot so naturally they didn't think I had a problem. But I was starting to hate myself. I woke up feeling like death warmed over, swearing I was done with booze. But as the day went on and I felt a little better I would begin to think about getting a bottle on the way home. I watched the clock creep towards 2:00 am when the liquor stores would close, and I had the sick feeling of inevitability. I knew eventually I would cave in and go get that bottle. What point was there to labeling it?

Ultimately it comes down not to what you are but what you do, your behavior. If your drinking is causing problems in your life and making you unhappy, change the behavior. It's not important to hang a label on yourself.:grouphug: