FBL

You can do this, Carrie! We're all here for you

tiffanyeagle

carrie my last drunk horrifies me to this day. the memory of it kills urges now, but i have to think about those memories when the urge comes.

here is what i decided to do - go to aa get a sponsor home group and work the steps.

i am following the program because I'm sick and want to get better.

my past behavior would find me extremely remorseful and panic stricken after a bender but magically a few days later when i had recovered i would go back and do it again.

this cycle is the disease and i had to do things different for it to stop.

welcome back - please stay - you are worth it.

Meraviglioso

Hey Carrie, I remember you and have thought of you in your absence, it is good to see you back.
If thinking of the ugly memories helps you to not drink then go there but I have found that looking forward has been the best option for me. Only in really tough touch-and-go moments do i allow myself to remember the horror. For me, thinking positively, thinking about what I want for myself and what I want to achieve has helped me a lot.
I really didn't "get" all this plan stuff- everyone was banging on about a plan. But it is true, you have got to get a plan in order, you can't just wing it and say "ok, no drinking" That has obviously not cut it in the past.
I did not get the whole plan thing- actually it took me a long time to understand it even if it is an easy concept- so I get it if it is tough to think of one for you.
Can we help you?

For example, from your posts and a sociological presumption based on your user name, you seem like a woman with an active social life. Something's gotta give there, you can't just continue on as you are and hope that things end up fine.

Some ideas:

You can back off the social stuff for a while until you feel solid in your sobriety (which may take a long time)
You can talk to your friends openly and explain that you want/need to quit drinking and suggest non-alcohol centric activities for socialising- coffee, museum visits, book readings, sports, fashion shows....
If you do continue to go out to restaurants and bars/clubs you can prepare in advance with 1. a non-alcoholic drink you will order 2. a go-to line to refuse any offers of alcohol 3. a buddy system of someone who supports fully your goal to stay sober 4. an escape route if you feel overwhelmed (how will you get home? have phone numbers ready, money ready)

My personal opinion is that carrying on going to bars is not going to work, but I know that you value your social life. Maybe you could come up with another activity that motivates you and challenges you and that does not go well with alcohol so that you stay the course while out socialising. Are you into fitness? If not, get into it. If yes, get more into it or try a new sport. For example I have recently started taking Karate lessons and it has been a huge boost for me. I had already been into fitness/weights/gym stuff but was kind of in a rut. This new activity, particularly as it is in a group with a strict instructor has really challenged me in the best of ways. I am truly interested in improving and drinking would majorly get in the way of that. What would you like to do that you have never tried? Karate? Rowing? Tennis? Basketball? I am sure you can find a team somewhere.

If you are not into athletic pursuits, think of something else challenging that requires you to be in top shape mentally. Can you take a night course? Think of something interesting that you would like to learn more about. It can be anything! I have a friend who recently took up calligraphy. You could start lessons to learn a foreign language.

There are so many options out there, you just have to get up and go for it!

More plan stuff- what will you do for in person support? AA? SMART? Counselling? out patient rehab? In patient rehab?

You can do this. You have to put everything into it. We are all here for you with no judgement. Sending you a big hug.

uncorked

Hi Carrie, we've all been there! When I was drinking, I used to say and do things I regretted on a regular basis. And sometimes I wouldn't remember what I said, but I knew it was bad....ugh. I don't miss that and you won't, either. Life is so much better without the drinking drama!! Make a list of things you enjoy doing that don't include drinking. Reading, watching movies, yoga, meditation, exercising, volunteering, whatever. Do those instead of going to bars. Nothing good happens in a bar! For the first year of my sobriety, I really curtailed my social activities. It sucked but I had to do it. I'd meet friends for coffee, lunch, etc but nothing that involved drinking. I was dealing with a divorce at the same time so hunkering down at home (or Barnes and Noble) was fine. You can do this!!!!