MicroMacro

What do you think made you feel bad in the first place?

If you drink now, you can expect to feel $hitty again in another few hours. That's the cycle. Drink, get drunk, it wears off, you start to feel bad, drink to feel better, repeat.

You can't escape the feeling of your body ridding itself of the poison. You can get some relief if you go to a medical center to detox, but at some point you'll have to go home and that's where real recovery begins.

How long have you been drinking heavily? Years? It's reasonable to expect some mental and physical discomfort on varying levels for a while depending on how long you've been drinking (overall).

"I feel like I'm slowly dying" That's because you are. Did you think that idea just popped into your head out of nowhere?

At some point in your life, you're going to have to endure some withdrawal and start the process of getting and staying sober. If you don't, alcoholism will kill you. It plays to win. The sooner you get on the wagon and figure out how to stay up there, the sooner you'll start feeling triumphant. Small doses of it will carry you a long way, but you have to give your body a rest and some time to heal first.

Best.

BabyBlues2

I've only been drinking heavily for about 5 and a half months. I had two babies 10 months apart and became very overwhelmed after the birth of my second in September. Instead of getting help for my PPD, I self-medicated with alcohol. Now I feel like I have dug myself this hole and am having a hard time stopping. A lot of my desire to drink is habitual at this point because I've been doing it for so long. I just need to get off of this awful Merry-go-Round.

Forward12

I think giving your doc a call would be a good idea to let them know you are dealing with some pretty severe PPD. It is a common occurrence and they will help you get back on track.

PurpleKnight

For me when I tried something new, that's when something began to happen, continuing to do the same things and hoping that something might change, never worked, nothing changed.

But when I changed up my decision making, my daily habits, got plenty of support into my routine, rather leaving things to chance or will power, something began to happen.

Will power never worked for me, as my will wanted to drink, I had an addiction, and so I needed something outside of myself to short circuit my own will power, something to make Sobriety happen, whether it's support, medical help, meetings.

Try something and you can make it happen, there are no inevitables in any of this!!

Dee74

Then thats the problem
If you're doing nothing to change, nothing's likely to change.

I really encourage everyone to at least think about a recovery plan

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

there's some excellent ideas here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

will power never worked for either cos part of my will wanted to drink. I had better results with acceptance - acceptance that my relationship with alcohol was toxic and if I wanted change - good change - then alcohol had to go.

You'll get back every ounce of effort you put into this BabyBlues - give it a real go!

D

Ant73

I understand exactly what you mean BabyBlues , I was sober 12 years but had a relapse and had a binge for 2 weeks solid. I'm almost on day 5 and starting to feel much better. Day 3 seems to be the hardest for me as it is with you .5 days back when I stopped , I knew it was gonna be hard but was determined . Your life will be so much better without it .Try keep yourself busy when you get to that stage .Good luck with it and you can do it , don't give in . The longer you go , the better you'll feel in yourself . Tony.

MsCooterBrown

Water....all the water you can drink. Fruit. Toast. Soup...small meals off and on thru the first few days...this is what helped me. I felt like I was coming out of my skin! The 1st day was the worst. 2nd day a bit better. Days 3&4 not too bad. If you keep drinking you are in constant withdrawal. Not good physically or mentally. Check in and let us know how you are. I as well as many others understand the struggle. It bites...but so much better if you can make it to the other side after the first few days.

thomas11

As others have mentioned, what is making you feel better is making you sick. We all must endure the withdrawal or hangover process. And its not fun. But you only have to do it once. An alcoholics way of avoiding a hangover is simple...stay drunk. But that is a dangerous and slippery slope.

BabyBlues2

Well on Tuesday, I ended up drinking a little between 630-8pm because I was feeling so horrible. Didn't sleep more than an hour that night from 1030p-1130p...which is weird bc alcohol usually helps me (I have been a natural insomniac for awhile). In any event, still felt pretty good yesterday! Almost like I was starting a new life. Started not to feel well a little last evening - kept getting hot flashes and chills. Didn't sleep well again. More tossing and turning. Still don't feel horrible right now though. I'm sure I will at some point today!

Yes, I do agree that I need to switch up my routine. That's the worst part. A lot of my drinking became habitual - 3 shots at 630am, 3-5 when I got home after work later...on those days I didn't "work from home." My drinking has always been more a maintenance thing...do 3 shots, 2-4 hours later maybe another one or two (if I'm not at work)...and so on. I am going to start adding some workouts into my morning routine...once I can at least get 5 hours of sleep...which is hopefully tonight!

I read a good article yesterday about how to feel better during the first couple days of quitting drinking - it mentioned not focusing on your body "withdrawing," but rather cleansing itself. Makes it "hurt" less. I have also been taking some Stress B Complex vitamins for the past two weeks, which has actually really helped my anxiety - I no longer wake up in the middle of the night with the sinking feeling in my stomach that tingles down into my legs. And I always drink a ton of water - between 90-140 ounces a day, even those days I drank. And I always ate. I don't think I'm lacking so much in nutrients (well as bad as I could be). My bloodwork a couple weeks ago was all normal. I think I have just compromised my autonomic nervous system. Body is having issues controlling temperature, etc. - having hot flashes, chills, etc. I just need to get it better (I believe my hormonal imbalance due to two back to back births has a little to do with this, but I'll never know until I get the alcohol out of my system to give it a chance to function on its own). I also feel like I am always on speed (even after drinking) - mind is processing a mile a minute, can't relax bc I always feel like I need to get to the next thing that needs to be done. My heart never races though and I have low blood pressure. I just need to get out before the physical dependence gets worse - which, it obviously will.

Thursdays have been sticky for me because my husband works late and I can freely drink after the kids go to bed. He was being short and grumpy this morning and I thought, well maybe I will drink tonight to take the edge off. But the thought was fleeting as I realized that I'm not stopping bc I feel like I have to (although I do), it's bc I want to feel better and drinking bc he's being ****** is actually just punishing myself.

Long story short...haha...38 hours in, and wanting to stick with it.

Carpathia

Yay! You can do it, moment by moment.

I read your earlier posts. It is good you can see the habit of your drinking. I remember it was an eye-opening experience to see the automatic nature of the addiction. Once I became aware of the triggers, I could begin taking actions to distract myself during those moments, even if it meant dropping to my knees and saying a prayer not to pick up. The cravings always passed with a little time. I just had to ride them out. You can too!

Ant73

Its awful and I know it when you stop the drink. I went 5 days and then had a couple last night because of a case of insomnia the night before before . My doctor told me because I'd gone 5 full days just to taper off it. .I had 2 drinks and was out like a light for 6 hours. Waking this morning I didn't feel that bad and have arranged for a meeting across the road at 7.30pm at a Church where they hold AA meetings . Stick with it BabyBlues. I'm done with that poison around .You will get there but dont give in ! Tony

Dee74

Have you thought any more on my suggestion about a recovery plan - it's got to be better than drinking BabyBlues?

D

soberlicious

Hi Babyblues,
When I had my triplets, I experienced some pretty serious PPD. It's really very difficult and there is still some amount of shame surrounding PPD, which is unfortunate because many of us isolate at the very time we would be better off sharing some of the feelings with a loved one or professional. I will say that ANY depression/anxiety will be multiplied a thousandfold by drinking alcohol. What would be a manageable (albeit uncomfortable) situation will quickly spiral out of control by pouring alcohol on it. It's so much easier to live without the added burden of addiction. Life can still be really hard...that's just the truth for everyone, but why make it near impossible by drinking? I'm glad that you are quitting. You won't regret it.