Relapse at 5 days
 

Just found this site. I made it five days sober and then yesterday was craving beer so bad. My thought was that I didn't care about being sober if that's what it was gonna feel like. Intense malaise and nothing seeming to matter at all. None of the things I normally care about mattered at all. I just wanted to feel okay so badly. Ended up going and getting beer. Kinda bummed this morning. Scared I will just drink today cuz I messed up yesterday. I really really want to get sober. Not sure how to get through those periods of not caring about anything except feeling okay again. And wondering if and when that intense non stop craving ever goes away. I have a hard time even doing small things that need to get done like dishes. When I drink, I have no problem tackling the mundane burdens in life. Doing that sober feels like lifting a million pounds.

Don't ever give up! It took me awhile to "get it" that I don't drink like other people. This site has been really key for me; tons of information and support - do hope you stick around :)

I can relate to that! But, you have to find the strength to do the mundane sober. It is a hard habit to break...sometimes I feel like getting drunk to have fun doing things that are not so much fun...

Welcome to SR.

You get through those tough periods by understanding and accepting that feeling okay will take a little time, and that the quick fix of alcohol isn't a fix for anything but your addiction. Don't worry about how bad you feel, or how long it's going to last. Focus on staying sober. Your reward is further down the road.

Welcome to SR, Sewloca!

I needed help and support--just "not drinking" didn't work for me--sooner or later I'd give in and go back to drinking just for relief from how I was feeling. I needed something to show me how to be sober and happy about it too.

I had to make a complete lifestyle change and I also had to be prepared that it was going to be tough at first with the cravings and I was going to feel pretty bad until I got on my feet with sobriety.

With a program of action, those cravings didn't last forever and eased off over time. I started feeling better and life began to actually get good again.

Now I feel like I've been released from that prison I was in and I'm no longer a slave to drinking.

This place can help you find the support you need and show you the different ways people are getting and staying sober so you can make a plan for yourself that works.

I agree with Carl, I am at 31 days sober and the craving to drink is much less than after the first 5 days.

Keep trying. You can do it.

Support to you.

You got this

The beginning is uncomfortable, no way around that.

The beauty, peace and calmness of sobriety is so worth a little discomfort. I'm assuming you're on this site because drinking has become a problem in some way?

Just push through the discomfort. We all did, you only have to do this once - unless you keep going back. Then you have to do it over and over and over and over.

Those first few days/weeks are tough. I couldn't get anything done either. Household chores like dishes can wait, focus on just staying away from alcohol and read/post here until you get through the worst of the withdrawal. You're in the right place, you'll do it. :)

Just remember that sinking feeling you got the day after about drinking that beer. Was that the feeling you were going for? Will it ever be any different any future time you decide to pick up? The answer is almost certainly no to both.

My last relapse happened because I just felt empty. I was dealing with a bout of crippling depression that made me feel like a black hole. I didn't care that I had managed to rebuild my life from scraps of the damage I had done through my drinking, that I managed to string together enough days to get to four months sober. I didn't feel anything, and nothing mattered. So I drank.

That was a week of hellish embarrassment that I will never forget. I lost the apartment I just secured after being homeless for months because my roommates didn't feel safe with me around, nor did they trust I was going to get better; I almost lost my job I had just secured after almost a year of unemployment due to drinking; I almost lost my relationship with my partner, who helped me get sober 4 months prior because he couldn't stand to live in a cycle of wellness and relapse.

I took back my life that day, a little over 9 months ago, and vowed that any time I ever started to feel that emptiness again, I would call someone, ANYONE, and tell on myself, because going through that temporary pain was better than losing absolutely everything I hold dear.

A drink isn't worth it. Please remind yourself of this if you're ever in that spot again, because you will never find happiness in that bottle. Only that desperate, sinking feeling all over again. It really does get better, though I can't promise you you won't go through painful times and have cravings. You absolutely will; it's how you react to those times that matters.

And please keep coming back. We'll all be here to help you get over that hill. It sucks to go through, but that pain is not forever.

Biology isn't so cruel as to make the cravings permanent. Cravings definitely go away after a relatively short time. For me, after the first month or two it got much easier to remain sober.

Welcome Sewloca.

I know how you feel - I was the same at 5 days when I first tried to quit. I had a few false starts because I just didn't see how it would be possible to give up my whole way of life. Yet bad things kept happening. I got a DUI. I started to take alcohol to work with me. I was putting myself in dangerous situations. It just wasn't worth it anymore. Give yourself chance to get past the early discomfort & depression - it will lift as you get some sober time. I drank 30 yrs. & now have over 9 yrs. sober. Being here at SR works. Glad to have you with us.

Welcome to the Forum Sewloca!! :wave:

Try again. Sometimes it takes more than once to get it right.

Hi Sewloca,

I hear where you're at, that first week can be a real struggle, I too could barely find the energy to do anything and life seemed pointless and just getting out of bed was a huge effort. It does get better though, I'm going into 6th week sober today and it's slowly but surely getting a little easier week by week. Hang in there and give your mind and body a chance to find some healing. All the best & please stick around.

Lots of people here with more knowledge and experience than me.

For years and years and years I couldn't get past a day or two. Maybe a week or two here and there. I didn't think I'd ever be able to quit because I was battling back the cravings day in and day out. I thought that would be my life forever.

I now have seven weeks and I am amazed that the cravings (for now at least) have simply subsided. It took me a lot longer to adjust physically and psychologically than I thought but it gets better.