Depression, boredom and recovery
 

20 days in and still hanging strong. Need some help and guidance on a few things though...

This week has been the roller coaster ride from hell. I am past most of the physical symptoms of withdrawal, although I'm still working at the anxiety. I suppose I was using alcohol in medicate this for quite some time and I'm now forced to deal with it. It's a process... But the symptoms from hell have passed. I thought getting through that would be the hard part, but I'm now dealing with depression and total boredom. I am trying to fill my days with things I thought would make me happy, all which I'm just bored with. I keep thinking to myself how fun it was when I was drinking... I guess my AV is still stronger than I thought.

My husband has made comments about me being different, down and quiet. I just can't help it. No matter how much I try, I can't find pleasure in any of the things I once did. Is this normal? Has anyone else gone through this? I'm just not sure where to go from here.

It's completely normal. Make sure you're eating a very healthy diet and start small with the pleasure stuff. It doesn't have to be a huge rush of pleasure, perhaps something as small as (fill in the blank)... Something very simple and basic. It'll come back.

It's normal to feel down in early recovery. It takes a little while for the brain to return to normalcy.

If you are using the term "depression" to refer to this lack of joy, that's one thing. However, if you are suffering from "real" depression, you need to see a doctor. Being sober is a good time to deal with those issues that may have driven us to seek alcohol in the first place.

Dis,
I took a long time to disrupt our lives to the extent we did with alcohol. It will take some time to gain everything back to.

For me after the first month I really had to force myself to engage in new things. Find out who I really was and what I liked doing as a sober person. It will happen for you , I know it.

you may be free from the physical affects of alcohol but your AV is still screwing with your brain. Keep going forward, ignore the negative feelings and focus only on the positive changes in your life.

At over eight months sober I am still amazed as my life improves. I went through exactly what your going through. It will get better, I'm sure of that. You are doing so well and you can enjoy your life free of alcohol 😀 It just takes time

Crikey, yes, it is perfectly normal. Something you ssid jumped out at me.

''I am trying to fill my days with things I thought would make me happy, all which I'm just bored with.''

That could be part of the issue you are facing. If you are like me, I was always looking for something to make me happy. That was a big part of my inability to give up for so many years. Just try 'being', breathing and don't forget chocolate!!

It is normal and I think maybe you need to find a new normal. I was able to get back to activities that I had enjoyed before I began to drink. Are there things that you are interested in doing? We have compiled a list of ideas here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

My therapist said once about boredom 'you are boring'. Meaning the boredom is inside me. The outside activity is still the same. The world is still the fun place it was. Inside I have an experience I choose to call boredom and then project that outside and blame outside events, people and things by calling them boring.

Nothing unusual about that. It's a common habit pattern, almost universal. But very wrong.

The way to get out of this and discover what's underneath, joy, is to let the feelings be there. Name them and continue with the tasks that are necessary for a life, not shirking the boring ones but using them as a tool to be aware of the sensations of boredom, equanimously observing them, moment to moment. In this way they rise and pass away. They might intensify for a while and seem to stay but ultimately they, like all things, change and pass away.

Likewise the need to not be boring, or bored, will pass away.

Be Happy.

Thanks everyone. Mattq2 - I think you're spot on. I have totally forgotten who I am and what brings me joy. Everything could be fun before... Just add alcohol. I'm hoping this goes away in time and I can rediscover who I am again and what brings me joy.

Keep posting/reading.

Hi dls - the first 30 days were hard for me, the next thirty a little easier and by 89 I was rediscovering the real me and what happiness and joy were :)

Try and be patient - if you're like me, you drank for years...give yourself a little time to rediscover who the real you is :)

D