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Hello my name is Deitra I'm 37 and I never thought I'd be going threw this. I used to see ppl going threw motions with they spouse or loved ones and think to myself " it couldn't be me" lol well here I am. July2,2017 will be my 1st anniversary to my husband a childhood crush. Don't get me wrong he has a beautiful spirit. But tonight he decides he doesn't wanna "lie" anymore lol right. I should've known something was wrong a year ago but unfortunately he hid it with alcohol. I use to wonder how three 24oz had him so f__ked up... Then i noticed every payday it was like "oh I lost $$ shooting dice" to always these friends I personally never met needing help to drinking benches. Lost 2 good jobs with benefits . Went to jail public intoxication and walking on wrong side of the road. To tonight. (Deep breath) My husband admitted to snorting dope and smoking dip (his words) . All this time it was in my face warnings after warnings blinded by this love I never felt. I pray for him more then myself. I told him i will go to AA meetings with him his response I done that it doesn't work he say.... I found myself scrolling and found this site... hoping to learn some skills or encouragement because even though he lost I'm losing myself.

Welcome to Sober Recovery, Dietra. This place has been a godsend for me and many others. I'm very sorry to hear of your situation.

It must be devastating to have been blindsided like that.

Feel free to read and post here; there are thousands of people with thousands of different experiences--some of them are bound to resonate.

Be sure to check out the "Friends and Family of Substance Abusers" forum especially.

Dietra,

Prayers. You are in a tough spot.,

Your situation is similar to mine. Except, I was like yout hubby.

Your hubby has to want to quit. Until then, no amount of help can save him from his addiction.

My wife begged me to quit, but I couldn't until I started having horrible panic attacks etc. That motivated me to stop. It was painful pulling out of the physical addiction. The mental part is still linguering.

You might try showing him this site. But again, most folks are blind to their addiction. They get offended when it is brought up.

Even my wife. I told her booze weakens her immune system and might be why she gets sick sometimes after drinking...she drinks once a mlnth or less.

She got mad and said....just because you don't drink, you think you know everything...I said...just trying to help...awkward.

That is why I come to sr. It reminds me of the hell I left behind.

Addiction is a nightmare.

Thanks.

Welcome Deitra,
And well done on reaching out. Keep posting and look around the site, it is very supportive on both sides of the fence.

Dietra, your post sounds to me like you realize you must save yourself...and you are right. Don't lose yourself to someone else's struggle. I hope you find good support in the SR friends and family forum and...could you look into al-anon in your town? You would be very welcome in Al-Anon whether your husband wants AA or not.

Welcome, Dietra!

I'm sorry for your situation.

As was mentioned by others, you might like to check out AlAnon in your area for support for you. And, I hope you keep posting here.

I'm sorry for what brings you here Deitra but I know you'll find a lot of support, both here and in our family and friends section too :)

The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com

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Welcome to the Forum Deitra!! :wave: