The main obstacle to sobriety
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Taplow, we ALL like drinking. That is why we are here.
And at first, alcohol is magic. Tastes good, makes us feel good. Takes away pain, stress, anxiety. Makes us funny, charming, lively.
But..the solution becomes the problem. Hangovers, depression, ugly or stupid behavior when drunk. Money lost, credit cards lost. Relationships on the rocks.
Won't even go there with what it does to our health over time.
Nothing worse than an old drunk.
You can turn it around. Just you. Peace.
And at first, alcohol is magic. Tastes good, makes us feel good. Takes away pain, stress, anxiety. Makes us funny, charming, lively.
But..the solution becomes the problem. Hangovers, depression, ugly or stupid behavior when drunk. Money lost, credit cards lost. Relationships on the rocks.
Won't even go there with what it does to our health over time.
Nothing worse than an old drunk.
You can turn it around. Just you. Peace.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,273
I've forgottent what it's like to be so enslaved to something that is not good for me. Hmmm, hang on aminute. I only gave up cigarettes a couple of weeks ago. That was scary and I've been sober for 4730 days of the last 4732 days (give or take). Ok, what made a difference. That I knew it wasn't good for me? no. That I could feel it wasn't good for me? kinda, because I practiced mindfulness meditation that helped me feel deeper. What really helped me was mindfulness meditation because I already from experience had faith that the meditation would help me recognise and allow the passing of the barrage of cravings I knew would come.
But, the one thing that pushed me away from the lazy attitude I had towards my smoking was getting involved here and finding myself giving advice that made the hypocrisy of my stance stark. I had to quit or live a very uncomfortable lie. So I quit.
Try to do something for someone else.
But, the one thing that pushed me away from the lazy attitude I had towards my smoking was getting involved here and finding myself giving advice that made the hypocrisy of my stance stark. I had to quit or live a very uncomfortable lie. So I quit.
Try to do something for someone else.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
It most definitely is possible to be joyous without alcohol. Joyous to the crown of your head and the tips of your toes. Joyous to the core of your being.
Joyous with gratitude to be thoroughly present in life. Joyous with self-respect and self-love.
Taplow, you yourself acknowledged that the feeling alcohol gives you is an illusion. It doesn't compare with true sober joy.
Come back anyways. Don't worry about drinking and being on here - we ALL know what it is like. Come back, read, post. Sobriety is worth the effort.
Joyous with gratitude to be thoroughly present in life. Joyous with self-respect and self-love.
Taplow, you yourself acknowledged that the feeling alcohol gives you is an illusion. It doesn't compare with true sober joy.
Come back anyways. Don't worry about drinking and being on here - we ALL know what it is like. Come back, read, post. Sobriety is worth the effort.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 209,106
Like I said to someone else today - I drank for twenty years...even after my last drink it took a few months for me to lose that alcoholic train of thought.
You're knee deep in effluent right now Taplow.
If drinking was so awesome you'd never have sought out a place like SR.
I remember your first post - your inner addict is really skilled at making you fear that change is impossible for you.
i understand that - drinking was the main activity in my life - if I didn't drink I had no idea what I or my life would be like.
That's scary - and my addicted self really made a meal of that fear to keep me drinking.
But...turns out change was not beyond me - and it's not beyond you either.
It might take a little more effort than what you've been doing - but it's not impossible.
You've already proved you can be sober...now you have to prove to yourself that you can stay sober.
Alcoholism is not alchemy - it's just some ratty old magician doing tired old slight of hand tricks.
I hope you decide to put the bottle down for good and give it your all.
You won't regret it
D
You're knee deep in effluent right now Taplow.
If drinking was so awesome you'd never have sought out a place like SR.
I remember your first post - your inner addict is really skilled at making you fear that change is impossible for you.
i understand that - drinking was the main activity in my life - if I didn't drink I had no idea what I or my life would be like.
That's scary - and my addicted self really made a meal of that fear to keep me drinking.
But...turns out change was not beyond me - and it's not beyond you either.
It might take a little more effort than what you've been doing - but it's not impossible.
You've already proved you can be sober...now you have to prove to yourself that you can stay sober.
Alcoholism is not alchemy - it's just some ratty old magician doing tired old slight of hand tricks.
I hope you decide to put the bottle down for good and give it your all.
You won't regret it
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
Hi thanks to everyone for all your wonderful posts.
I think I'm responsible for a misunderstanding however. I recall in my drunkeness that I posted something which on reading I thought was ludicrous. So I altered to say that I wouldn't be on here anymore. But what I meant was that I wouldn't come on the thread anymore not the site. Nowadays when drinking even if I think I'm being perfectly sensible often I've the experience to know that I'm probably not.
I want to stop drinking of course I do, but I'm drinking right now. "So stop then," would be the reasonable response. That's always a problem for me. I always think I've got to plan in advance when to stop. I think that if I don't prepare in this way then when I've stopped drinking I'll be carrying around in my subconscious some idea that I haven't signed off properly and finished with a final, determined flourish. It's like I've seen on so many documentaries where someone's about to go into rehab and the camera shows them drinking to the very last moment, downing cans of Special Brew as they approach the front door. But actually it's the perfect illustration of our problem.
Maybe I should just stop now, that's it, right now. But I'll trick myself by saying that I'll definitely be able to just stop just like that, when I'm ready of course. But then again the time's not right, the wind is in the wrong direction and the planets aren't aligned properly.
So no I'm not leaving, I don't want to leave. I've got to use this forum properly now. The trouble is, and I've said it many times, that I either find stopping drinking really, really easy or very nearly impossible. IWhen I'm finding it so easy I don't really think about it. I can't see what all the fuss is about. Oh it's day 4, day 5, it's all no problem. And then one day, I'm drinking again. Got to learn to repair the roof when the sun is shining. Homily of the day.
Best wishes everybody. I hope to see you on the other side very, very soon.
I think I'm responsible for a misunderstanding however. I recall in my drunkeness that I posted something which on reading I thought was ludicrous. So I altered to say that I wouldn't be on here anymore. But what I meant was that I wouldn't come on the thread anymore not the site. Nowadays when drinking even if I think I'm being perfectly sensible often I've the experience to know that I'm probably not.
I want to stop drinking of course I do, but I'm drinking right now. "So stop then," would be the reasonable response. That's always a problem for me. I always think I've got to plan in advance when to stop. I think that if I don't prepare in this way then when I've stopped drinking I'll be carrying around in my subconscious some idea that I haven't signed off properly and finished with a final, determined flourish. It's like I've seen on so many documentaries where someone's about to go into rehab and the camera shows them drinking to the very last moment, downing cans of Special Brew as they approach the front door. But actually it's the perfect illustration of our problem.
Maybe I should just stop now, that's it, right now. But I'll trick myself by saying that I'll definitely be able to just stop just like that, when I'm ready of course. But then again the time's not right, the wind is in the wrong direction and the planets aren't aligned properly.
So no I'm not leaving, I don't want to leave. I've got to use this forum properly now. The trouble is, and I've said it many times, that I either find stopping drinking really, really easy or very nearly impossible. IWhen I'm finding it so easy I don't really think about it. I can't see what all the fuss is about. Oh it's day 4, day 5, it's all no problem. And then one day, I'm drinking again. Got to learn to repair the roof when the sun is shining. Homily of the day.
Best wishes everybody. I hope to see you on the other side very, very soon.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Keep at it, Taplow. Put your AV that is telling you that you should plan in advance to stop drinking soon in a box, lock it, and throw away the key. (I am a fan of visual analogies)
Stop drinking today. One foot in front of the other. You can do it.
Stop drinking today. One foot in front of the other. You can do it.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
The problem with drinking are the consequences. If I could have been a drunk with no consequences I still would be drinking. Alcoholism is progressive and the consequences are progressive as well. Relationships, career, legal, health, wealth, and happiness just keep going downhill.
If everything in your life is just peachy and you haven't given anything away to alcohol I agree why quit. Then again most people whose life is peachy don't hang out on recovery sites because they don't have anything else to do
If everything in your life is just peachy and you haven't given anything away to alcohol I agree why quit. Then again most people whose life is peachy don't hang out on recovery sites because they don't have anything else to do
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 24,976
I'm glad you're still here.
Every argument in that paragraph in post #26 can be rebutted with, "That's all well and good, but I don't drink."
All the stuff that your addicted brain throws at you is rebutted the same way. IT has no good argument. It's all about the feel-good, I get it. We all get it here. I'm not sure if I would have stopped if there were no consequences, but I was pretty miserable and tired of it. I had money and time and no one telling me not to drink, no DUI, didn't lose a job or friends, no reason to quit other than feeling awful on more mornings than not, and well into the afternoon on too many of them. The feel-good lasted for shorter and shorter periods and took more and more to "get there." I knew there was a better way, I had been sober for many years previously and started back up.
I hope you'll start seeing your addiction for what it is, an insidious liar that will tell you anything to get you to feed it - right into the grave. I certainly didn't want to die a miserable drunk death. How awful.
"I don't drink, no matter what." works for me. Coming to this site worked for me. I'm glad you're here, taplow.
It is so much better on the sober side, I wish there was some way to share that feeling somehow - but it has to be experienced. It's a freedom and peace I could never have while enslaved to alcohol.
Every argument in that paragraph in post #26 can be rebutted with, "That's all well and good, but I don't drink."
All the stuff that your addicted brain throws at you is rebutted the same way. IT has no good argument. It's all about the feel-good, I get it. We all get it here. I'm not sure if I would have stopped if there were no consequences, but I was pretty miserable and tired of it. I had money and time and no one telling me not to drink, no DUI, didn't lose a job or friends, no reason to quit other than feeling awful on more mornings than not, and well into the afternoon on too many of them. The feel-good lasted for shorter and shorter periods and took more and more to "get there." I knew there was a better way, I had been sober for many years previously and started back up.
I hope you'll start seeing your addiction for what it is, an insidious liar that will tell you anything to get you to feed it - right into the grave. I certainly didn't want to die a miserable drunk death. How awful.
"I don't drink, no matter what." works for me. Coming to this site worked for me. I'm glad you're here, taplow.
It is so much better on the sober side, I wish there was some way to share that feeling somehow - but it has to be experienced. It's a freedom and peace I could never have while enslaved to alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
for me, liking drinking and its effects was only an illusion and a lie.
when I got out of denial about what alcohol was doing to me, I could just how much the exact opposite was true:
alcohol loved me- it loved to help me hate myself.
when I got out of denial about what alcohol was doing to me, I could just how much the exact opposite was true:
alcohol loved me- it loved to help me hate myself.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 209,106
I used to think I could only quit by setting a date and then drinking as much as I could before that date.
My Inner Addict loved it because not only was I convincing myself that this was 'taking action', but I'd also usually drink past my 'quit date' and be too drunk to care.....
There's no need to negotiate with your AV Taplow.
It's futile anyway - all your AV wants to do is drink.
You're not a passive player in this relationship.
You call the shots....so call them
D
My Inner Addict loved it because not only was I convincing myself that this was 'taking action', but I'd also usually drink past my 'quit date' and be too drunk to care.....
There's no need to negotiate with your AV Taplow.
It's futile anyway - all your AV wants to do is drink.
You're not a passive player in this relationship.
You call the shots....so call them
D
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