Hi! First time here. First time anywhere.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Kampala, Uganda
Posts: 327
Hi! First time here. First time anywhere.
I am a 32 year old woman, mother and wife and, sadly, I am an alcoholic. Perhaps a functioning alcoholic. However, even the 'functioning' part may be getting lost from me because lately I have somehow stopped caring about work, school, life in general. The only thing that keeps me going is my 1 year old son. TBH, he gets me up and out of bed in the morning and he keeps me as sober (or as little drunk) as possible during the day. Nights are a whole other thing since he now sleeps relatively well in the night and so I'm better able to indulge. It doesn't help that I'm stressed out constantly over all the work and school I've been absconding on.
I've decided to start getting help by joining here and garnering the resolve to stop because I know I have to... and soon. I seriously do not want to model this kind of behavior for my son (I grew up with two alcoholic parents). I'm so scared of doing that to him; he deserves waaaay better. I have also scheduled an appointment with a therapist for next week Tuesday and I hope to be able to keep that up (depending on what the fees are). I want to read, interact and learn from others who have been where I am and turn my life around. I'm hopeful about this.
I've decided to start getting help by joining here and garnering the resolve to stop because I know I have to... and soon. I seriously do not want to model this kind of behavior for my son (I grew up with two alcoholic parents). I'm so scared of doing that to him; he deserves waaaay better. I have also scheduled an appointment with a therapist for next week Tuesday and I hope to be able to keep that up (depending on what the fees are). I want to read, interact and learn from others who have been where I am and turn my life around. I'm hopeful about this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 10
Good luck. As a parent of three I would get away with drinking when they were young. I was a very functioning parent, but time takes its toll. I had a very good drinking routine but as my kids got older they saw the effect alcohol had on me. It took me a long time to realize it. Envision the parent you want to be and get as much help as you can to get there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 71
Hi, Lava. I am in a similar situation. Used to function rather well, but now my drinking has started affecting my job. I have a one-year-old as well as a 6 month-old infant. I was sober for virtually 18 months due to back-to-back pregnancies. (Before then, I probably drank 3 nights out of the week.) However, after the birth of my second, I developed a bad case of PPD. Instead of seeking therapy, I self-medicated with alcohol. It started off 2-3 days per week, which eventually ballooned into daily night drinking, and now daily drinking both morning and night. I have been hiding my drinking from everyone, including my husband...I drink in secret. I am probably able to hide it since, while I've been drinking between 6 and 15 shots of vodka per day, I never drink enough at one time to be wasted. Honestly, it's probably more difficult to keep hiding my drinking from everyone than actually being sober! It's time to get my life back. I just recently joined SR a week or so ago - spent 70 hours sober - and then went on an 8-day-in-a-row fall off the wagon. I am back today, and, like you, am hopeful that I can do this. I don't think I tried hard enough on my first attempt. Good luck to you! We're all in this together!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome, Lava!
I'm glad you've decided to stop drinking. I know you will find that your life as working mom and student will be easier when you are sober. You will sleep better and you will feel better about yourself and you will be able to become to Mom that you want to be.
Talking to a therapist is a great idea and you will always find lots of support here. My suggestion is to plan - make a plan to be busy doing something else during the times you drink.
I'm glad you've decided to stop drinking. I know you will find that your life as working mom and student will be easier when you are sober. You will sleep better and you will feel better about yourself and you will be able to become to Mom that you want to be.
Talking to a therapist is a great idea and you will always find lots of support here. My suggestion is to plan - make a plan to be busy doing something else during the times you drink.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,668
Hello Lava. So very well done in recognising stuff and acting on that awareness. I remember being your age (I am 53) and pausing before driving into a bottle shop to buy booze. The thought (so an awareness) came that buying booze so early in the day was not normal and if I stopped drinking now I would be a happier person and look back and feel pride on deciding not to drink any more. Then I chose to buy the booze....
It is not only what we know- but what we do with that info/experience. Have you been to any AA meetings? SMART is good also- I do both.
Keep looking, posting,sharing. PJ
It is not only what we know- but what we do with that info/experience. Have you been to any AA meetings? SMART is good also- I do both.
Keep looking, posting,sharing. PJ
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 8
I'm a parent of three, who (I think) are getting old enough to have been aware of my excessive drinking. This was a key factor in my decision to stop, finally, a couple of months ago. I hated the thought of failing in my duty to be a good role model for them. When I need to fight off urges to drink, reminding myself of the person I want to present to my sons is a powerful motivator.
I find SR is a great place to read, learn and reflect. It's helping me stay strong. Good luck with making the changes you want and need.
I find SR is a great place to read, learn and reflect. It's helping me stay strong. Good luck with making the changes you want and need.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Missouri
Posts: 515
Welcome Lava and good luck! You are very smart to be doing what you are doing. I am quite a bit older than you but can tell you it gets waaaay progressively worse over the years. Put your mind to it and you can do this!
Olivia
Olivia
I know you'll find lots of support and useful info here. I hope our support can help you get sober for good. 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: British columbia
Posts: 128
I'm a mom of little ones as well and I used to get so excited about bedtime so I could finally relax and have a drink. I still do get excited for bed time 
but I feel like such a better mom when I don't drink and have more energy to do things with them. It also scared me that they might start to see or remember me drinking and I usually would black out so who knows what they would see and I'm glad they now will see me at my best and be a good role model. I am hopeful for you as well , you can do it !
but I feel like such a better mom when I don't drink and have more energy to do things with them. It also scared me that they might start to see or remember me drinking and I usually would black out so who knows what they would see and I'm glad they now will see me at my best and be a good role model. I am hopeful for you as well , you can do it !
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Hopeful is exactly how you should be! You are making a pivotal design that you will never regret. People here on SR are lovely, full of the experience, strength, wisdom that you are seeking. I'd recommend read a lot here, post often, make a plan, make sober friends you can talk to.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Perth WA
Posts: 150
Welcome Lava,
I too am a Mum who drinks. Personally, joining here has made me recognise my drinking problem a hundred times more and feel less alone that I have a problem, a problem that only I can fix. I think you will find this is a very inspirational and welcoming place to come and 'talk'. We are blessed with our children and mine are at an age when they know if I'm drunk and it breaks my heart. Your post has inspired me more as I have let it go on way too long after they were too little to notice.
Maybe check out the 24hr thread, it has been helping me.
I too am a Mum who drinks. Personally, joining here has made me recognise my drinking problem a hundred times more and feel less alone that I have a problem, a problem that only I can fix. I think you will find this is a very inspirational and welcoming place to come and 'talk'. We are blessed with our children and mine are at an age when they know if I'm drunk and it breaks my heart. Your post has inspired me more as I have let it go on way too long after they were too little to notice.
Maybe check out the 24hr thread, it has been helping me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 296
Welcome. I'm also a mum and considered myself high functioning as I could "mum" during the day and "drink" after my sons bedtime. The quantity I was drinking began to get out of hand. I'm only on day 2. I'm with you and I get it.
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