5O days and no relapse
 

Well I've made it fifty days, and am becoming more and more familiar with the "ism" in alcoholism. There are great days (usually the ones where I hit a meeting), and there are some really, really low days where the best I can really do is just not drink. The good news is this is the longest I've been without a drink or drug since I was 14 years old, I'm 26 yrs now. There are definately mental parts to this disease that I didn't even realize were alcoholism, I just thought it was me not being able to function in society comfortably, and that it was a totally different issue. I always knew that I had spent alot of time in my own head and was pretty out of touch with reality, but didn't connect the two...just thought I was a loner who couldn't really converse with other people and always ended up ruining conversations with anyone one way or another. Alcohol and drugs made me feel good about myself when comparing myself to others always let me down.

Anyway, just felt like sharing today, maybe like a journal entry or something. But another issue I have...

My sponsor is 27 yrs sober and 65 yrs old, and suffers from depression and chronic pain. Last week he had a blowout with his homegroup (which I joined on monday), because they "told" him to read how it works from the big book, and didn't "ask" him to read. He walked out of the meeting and when I called him after he said that he wasn't going to go to meetings anymore, and that he'd had problems with people in that group for awhile now. I think that's called a resentment? Anyway...he wasn't there on monday and he's not answering my calls this week. He always answers. I'm worried about him and I don't want to hurt him by asking for another sponsor, but his inconsistency lately is making me feel a little rejected. I know selfishness is the root of all our problems, and I don't want to make this all about me, just having a rough couple days and he won't chat. Should I just tough out this rough spell and see if he comes out of it? Anyway I hope you all are having a great week and I'm grateful for you.

K

Hey Kyng

Congrats on 50 days. No experience to share on the sponsor thing but I hope you two at least get the chance to talk soon :)

D

If your sponsor suffers from depression and chronic pain, maybe he shouldn't be sponsoring. Sounds like he's got his own problems. Maybe find another sponsor.

Congrats on fifty days sober! :) Keep going, it gets better. :)

Hi Kyng congratulations on 50 days sober.

Thanks guys,
Yea I think I'll just wait it out with the sponsor thing, I feel kinda bad for bringing it up now...like I shouldn't have said anything.

Hi Kyng and congrats on 50 days, fantastic! I can relate to a lot of your insights in your post.

Thats a tough one re. your Sponsor and don't feel bad bringing it up. The whole point (as I understand it) of a Sponsor is to take you through the steps and be a support especially in those early days. I guess we have to remind ourselves that they are human too and suffer from many of the same things as us.

Having said that, your ongoing recovery has to be YOUR priority. If you think he is not in a space to be able to provide support for you then you can gently let him know you need to find another Sponsor. I know of some who have more than one Sponsor. Not having him as a Sponsor does not mean you can no longer support each other, all you can do is handle the situation with compassion and honesty.

If you have embraced the program and a higher power....now might be a good time to ask for guidance :) I find if I try not to force things (self will) answers unfold before me.

Lets us know how you go.

great job on 50 days

that's the ticket!

:You_Rock_

Fantastic. Keep it up.

Congratulations on 50 days!

As each sober day adds up, it get's a little easier. Now that you've hit 50 days, double that and try to hit 3 digits in you sober day time.

Congratulations on reaching 50 days.

I'm at 48 days and I really could have written the first part of your post myself!

Congrats on 50 days! I got 50 days today too.