jobee33

Hey guys,

I am new to Sober Recovery. I have read threads on here before and there is always positive feedback from members, so I figured this would be a good place to reach out to.

I am very aware of my drinking, and have paid the price for years (3 duis, drunk in publics, and other things) and I have been making changes to get better at controlling my drinking. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months now, and when she is around, we rarely drink, except for wine, which does nothing to me bc of how high my tolerance is for liquor.

We rarely fall asleep together the whole night, and we are both light sleepers. I believe for me it is bc I am used to being drunk before I go to sleep which helps me pass out fairly quickly. Since I don't do that when I am around her, it is tough to sleep. This is becoming a deal breaker for her to some degree.

Do you guys have any recommendations on how to get past this stage? Thank you so much.

Algorithm

If you haven't figured out yet how to control your drinking in spite of all those negative consequences, and another one on the horizon, with regard to your girlfriend, it is time to consider quitting drinking entirely.

Quitting drinking is cheaper, and safer.

Behappy1

Melatonin or Valerian root has helped me with no adverse side effects. Obviously do your research, these are both natural, non rx supplements. As stated above, easier said than done, but I'd ban all alcohol. Does your gf know the troubles you've had with alcohol.

Anna

I think that if you stop drinking, then your sleep patterns will settle down. Alcoholics cannot control their drinking, and the solution is to stop drinking. It sounds like alcohol has caused many problems in your life. Have you considered stopping drinking?

Mattq2

Hey jobee,
For me I couldn't control my drinking. I had to quit completely. I think if I read your post correctly you are saying that you did quit and now can't sleep.

That was the worst problem for me when I quit(insomnia). I found it best not to fight it. I would stay up and watch movies or read a book and once I was very tired I would go to bed. Lying in bed and tossing and turning just frustrated me more.

I also found having a full stomach before bed really helped.

Once I got about a week under my belt I started to sleep a little better. After about a month it was much better. Now at eight months sober I sleep like a log. I even have dreams and remember them😀

Mattq2

Oh yeah and cutting out caffeine as much as you can would be good too.

Mountainmanbob

Hi jobee,
Things probably won't improve until as you say, "get better at controlling my drinking." Don't know about you but, I had a very hard time controlling my drinking, especially towards the end. Maybe that's where you are at? If so? It seems that the only way for a normal life is to stop drinking permanently.

I do understand for I also had 3 or 4 DUI's and lost my drivers license more than once.
Rode a motorized bicycle around town for a couple of years.
Also, my drinking disappointed most all around me -- to say the least.

M-Bob

least

As long as you're still drinking, your sleep is going to be bad. Alcohol interferes with real sleep. When you pass out, you're not asleep, just unconscious.

It takes a while being sober before your sleep patterns settle down but it's worth the wait. I sleep better now than I have in years, and waking up sober feeling good never gets old.

thomas11

As others have mentioned, I think there is a larger problem here that is connected to your sleeping problem. My sleep patterns were very poor when actively drinking. Since I quit, I rarely have sleep issues. With the consequences you've experienced maybe you want to think about trying to quit drinking.

BixBees505

Quitting drink would be the obvious first course of action to regain normal sleep. Some people have true sleep disorders that would persist in sobriety...they are treatable, but not while actively drinking, I would think.

Can you both be patient with each other and give each other the space and peace you need to stay rested?